


To All The Boys I've Loved Before

by MarshmallowAtHeart



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fake Dating, Mutual Pining, slight mention of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2019-07-18 09:10:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 77,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16115294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarshmallowAtHeart/pseuds/MarshmallowAtHeart
Summary: Heavily inspired by the movie To All The Boys I've Loved Before. When Veronica's secret love letters somehow get mailed to each of her five crushes and she has to now deal with the consequences - the consequences being somehow convincing each of the guys that she's not interested, especially Duncan Kane, her sister's ex-boyfriend. And Logan Echolls helps her do just that.





	1. Chapter 1

It’s a detoxification, as such, let out her feelings before it consumed her. That’s what her letters are to her. It was never meant to be seen by anyone other than her.

And suddenly here it was, her worst nightmare come to light - no, she was not naked walking down the school halls (not literally anyway) - except her soul was bared before five unexpecting boys.

The worst of them being Duncan Kane, her sister’s ex-boyfriend. She never had any intention of dating him. She’d never do that to Meg but she’d had feelings that arose in her early adolescence that had come to light a little too late and she’s dealt with that - until a week ago when Meg broke up with him.

She swallows as she watches him stalk toward her with the letter in his hand. She didn’t know how to deal with this.

Especially not with Logan Echolls standing in front of her with his own version of a letter that she’d wrote him a million years ago.

He’d moved here when he was twelve and every girl had a crush on him except her. That is until he’d kissed her at Dick Casablancas’ birthday party. They’d been the last ones there, she’d been waiting for her dad to arrive and he was going to stay the night. They were sitting on the couch, the TV was on and they were bantering like they usually did and all of a sudden, his face was in front of hers and then his lips was kissing hers.

She never meant for him to find out what she thought about the kiss nor the aftermath that was her crush on him. And that’s why she’d wrote the letter, to get over him and she’d been successful in that.

And here he is defending one of the many things she’s accused him off in her letter and apologizing for stealing her first kiss during Dick Casablancas’ birthday party. She’s hastily brushing it off, accepting the apology and she is ready to run as far away from Neptune High as she possibly can.

Because Duncan is close and Logan is still talking about various details contained in the letter he was never supposed to receive and she’s knee deep in panic mood.

That’s the only explanation she can articulate as to why she’s kissing Logan Echolls in the middle of the soccer field.

Her coach calls out to her and she breaks away from Logan. Duncan is stilled in his movement on the far left underneath the big Oak tree and she’s pretty sure Logan’s more confusion then when he’d found her when she appropriates a quick thank you and flees the scene with as much speed as possible.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Logan finds her. Of course, Logan finds her. Because Logan always gets what he wants and what he wants is to talk about that goddamned letter.

“I don’t want to date you, Logan Echolls,” she says, cutting off whatever rejection he must have had planned for her. “I wrote that letter a long time ago. You were never supposed to see it.”

He’s about to speak and she knows Logan (she’s not in his close net of friends but she used to be). She knows that when he wants answers he doesn’t stop wanting answers.

And she’d become wise in her time, she knows to pick her battles, so she answers before it’s even a question. “I don’t actually like you, the only reason I kissed you was because I didn’t want someone else thinking I liked them.”

He frowns - like he doesn’t believe her, like he thinks she’s chickening out of her confession to him when there wasn’t even really any confession to begin with - and she feels herself become upset.

She’s not entirely sure why she feels upset right now - or maybe it’s a collection of reasons and Logan Echolls is in the front line of this universal attack against her.

“Alright then so who is this mysterious stud that you don’t want to think you like them?” He asks, his brow arches as he looks at her with those brown eyes that always seem to be tethering her to him.

And it’s frustrating how easily she can get absorbed into his unfairly beautiful brown eyes and she won’t have any of that happening again. “That’s none of your business.”

“It kinda is,” he says casually leaning on the counter - like he’s a regular customer that fits right in - and he’s staring at her with full amusement. “I’m invested now. And if you don’t tell me, I’m gonna go on believing that you have a secret tattoo of my face on your butt.”

She rolls her head and sighs heavily for his sake - because he’s exhausting and she wants him to know it. “Duncan Kane.”

“Duncan Kane?” His brows shoot up and Veronica’s already regretting telling him. “Lilly’s brother? Isn’t he dating your sister?”

“Dated,” she corrects. “She broke up with him. But it doesn’t matter. He wasn’t supposed to get that letter. Neither were you. None of them were supposed to.”

His brows furrow and gears are changing in his mind as he tries to get his brain to catch up with her words; he wasn’t the only one to get a letter, he won’t admit it to her - _I don’t actually like you_ \- but it kinda stings. “Wait. How many letters are there?”

“Five.”

“Wow. Just when I was starting to think I was special,” he snarks turning his annoyance into sarcasm. He doesn’t know how exactly this conversation with her was going to go when he showed up at her door - only to find out that she wasn’t home and ended up following her to this diner as per suggestion of her younger sister Heather.

Lilly had just broken up with him for a college guy and then he’d read the letter and now Veronica is dismissing the whole thing as a thing of the past that was never supposed to see the day of light.

And really, he can’t believe that there was a time that she’d felt this way about him and that he’d lost a chance he’d never known he had - _I don’t want to date you, Logan Echolls - I don’t actually like you._

“So who were the other three letter receivers?”

She feels tired. The whole situation is beyond her and she hates that she’s going to have to deal with it. “What does it matter?”

“I’m curious,” he shrugs and she isn’t anymore inclined to include him in her newly created drama so he says, “You want me telling everyone you wrote me a love letter?”

She glares at him and resigns to him knowing. “Stosh Piznarski. Leo D'Amato. Troy Vandergraff.”

He doesn’t know the first two but he recognizes the third and feels kinda annoyed because he’s never liked Vandergraff and he finds it hard to believe that she did. “Troy? Seriously?”

She doesn’t answer him, her eyes are transfixed on the door or more specifically the person that’s just pushed opened the door into the fine establishment that she’s considered her fortress of solitude ever since her father had first brought her to it when she was a little kid.

“Veronica?” Logan whispers her name, his face much too close for comfort but she’s rather distracted to actually do anything about it.

Walking towards them was none other than Leo D'Amato; the cute deputy that was always nice to her and smelled like musk and safety.

Logan knows by her reaction that this guy is another one of the recipients of her letters. He doesn’t know why exactly he decides this is the best course of action but he tilts Veronica’s face to his, dips his head and kisses her softly.

It’s his third kiss with Veronica and it’s kinda scary how much he wants a fourth and a fifth.


	3. Chapter 3

Unlike Duncan who’d stood and watched from a far, Leo reaches them with a small smile on his face - like he’s sorry he’s interrupting but also not sorry enough. “Hey, Veronica.”

Her breath hitches and Logan frowns. He doesn’t particularly like how airy her voice sounds in her greeting.

As soon as the words are out of her mouth, Logan puts forth, “Hey, I’m Logan. Veronica’s boyfriend.”

Leo nods, seemingly unsurprised after witnessing their kiss. “Nice to meet you. Deputy Leo D'Amato.”

They shake hands and Veronica’s mind is still reeling from the kiss and Logan’s unprompted declaration of being her boyfriend.

Leo doesn’t seem to notice that Veronica looks like she’s cornered between two predators and wants to flee into a rabbit hole and live a life on carrots if that’s what it takes to get out of this situation or if he does, he doesn’t mention it. “Veronica, can I talk to you for a minute please?”

“Anything you say to Veronica, you can say in front of me,” comes Logan’s immediate defence.

She’s surprised by his actions but appreciates the ’ _I’ve got your back_ ’ gesture. She’s not sure why he says that but she appreciates the possibility of a third option (first being run away and live in a hole until this blows over, second being just talk to Leo and get it over with).

She touches Logan’s arm, gently and reassuring. She hops off her bar stole and softly says that it’s okay as she presses a light kiss against his cheek.

It’s not so much a performance kiss as it is a _thank you for trying to help me_ kiss. She doesn’t know why he would want to her but she appreciates that gesture all the same.

“So the letter -”

“It was never supposed to get out,” she says, in all finality. It’s her immediate defence and it feels so repetitive coming out of her mouth. She kind of wishes she could gather them all up and give this speech to them together - except she kind of doesn’t because that feels like that would be another nightmare come to life.

“I mean you were never supposed to read it,” she continues to say, her confidence that she’s sure she absorbed from Logan (because the guy wore confidence like a cologne) was fading. “It was all a long time ago and somehow it got sent out.” He nods his head, understanding and gives her a soft smile.

“I kind of figured,” he gestures to where Logan is sitting and eyeing them like he’s waiting for a signal and is ready to pounce at any given second. “I just thought you might want it back,” he hands her the note and she feels anxious for the seconds leading up to her hands reuniting with the letter. “It’s very intimate.”

“Thank you,” she breaths out because once it’s in her hands all she can feel is relief. “And I’m sorry about all this.”

“It’s fine, Veronica,” he smiles in the way that makes worries fade away. “It’s sweet, really,” he teases a bit and for that God awful second she feels embarrassed like she was a kid that had a crush on her teacher except that wasn’t how it felt when they hung out at the station - _pizza and good conversation_ \- she’d thought at the time that ’ _this is what dating feels like_ ’ except he’d gotten a girlfriend and she felt heartbroken.

She didn’t know how she could expect anything else because she was fifteen and he was straight out of the Academy at nineteen.

She’d learned then that age wasn’t just a number and the difference between nineteen and fifteen was bigger than just four.

“I’m glad you were able to find closure,” he says with sincerity and his _Hakuna Matata_ smile that dissolves all her embarrassment in one easy go. She smiles appreciatively and is reminded why she had the crush on him. “Thank you, Leo, really.”

“Don’t be a stranger, okay?” She gives him a nod and a smile and feels relief as he walks away. She wishes all boys were as easy to deal with but she supposes it’s because Leo’s an adult and he thinks Logan’s her boyfriend.

_Fake boyfriends sure are useful._

She turns around and heads back to Logan - who’s pretending all he was doing was drinking his chocolate milkshake and reading the bold poster of food puns hanging on the wall.

“So, boyfriend, enjoying your milkshake?” She teases.

“Yup. It’s everything a boy could want in a shake.” His eyes fall to the envelope in her hand. “So how’d it go?”

“It felt good to get back my letter,” she says, it’s like a piece of her has come back home after a rebellious night of partying. “I just feel embarrassed that he’s seen it.”

“I don’t think it’s embarrassing,” he says and he doesn’t know how to articulate what he means to say except maybe he does. He wants to say that it’s not embarrassing to have feelings for someone but he doesn’t want to encourage her to pursue one of the guys (Duncan) she’d cared enough about to write them her a letter. Except maybe what he really means to say is that _it’s not embarrassing for you to have feelings for me._

He’s convinced she’d tell him it’s because he thinks everyone loves him like she’d so boldly stated in her letter and the words _I don’t want to date you, Logan Echolls_ \- _I don’t actually like you_ \- haunts his mind.

“Yeah because you’ve never had someone see something you didn’t want them to,” she points out self-righteously, even though she’s feeling anything but self-righteous.

“Okay, point,” he concedes. “So what are you gonna do about the other guys?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugs, she doesn’t want to think about it or deal with it until she has to and Logan probing her like this isn’t helping at all. “I’ll tell them the truth, I guess.”

They’re silent for awhile and she’s ready to leave now and he’s offering to give her a ride home. She almost doesn’t accept but then he’s encouraging _come on_ doesn’t give her any time to decline.

The ride home is music fuelled and quick. She gives him a soft thank you and hurries out of the car - maybe if she’s fast enough she can forget that this day happened.

“Hey,” Logan says - he’s out of his car and catching up to her on her front porch - “What if you didn’t tell them the truth?”

She turns to him, confused and unfocused. “What?”

He’s suddenly got this wave of determination and he believes that his idea is the solution to all of their problems. “What if they kept believing that you and I were dating?”

“What are you saying, Logan?” She asks him to clarify because it can’t be what she thinks he’s saying.

“I can be your fake boyfriend. I mean, it’d get them off your back, right? And Lilly was pissed when she found out that we kissed. If she thinks that you and I are together then she’ll want to get back together.”

She’s ready to refuse, he knows it and so he says before he leaves, “Just think about it, okay?”


	4. Chapter 4

“Welcome back home, honey,” her dad says, standing over by the kitchen counter making dinner and eyeing her suspiciously.

She smiles, innocently, like she’d done a totally normal thing this afternoon - the normal thing being climbing out her room window to avoid talking to Duncan. She wonders how much Heather has told Neptune’s finest sheriff about her disappearing act; does he know the details or just the fact that she disappeared?

“‘It’s been a long day,” she lets her bag drop from her shoulder as she peers at her father standing behind the stove. “My eyes could be playing tricks on me - but it looks like you’re cooking.”

It’s a rare sight; Keith Mars in the kitchen with his ’ _don’t go bacon my heart_ ’ embroidered apron (it’s a set that comes with the _'I couldn’t if I fried_ ’ counter part) like he’s a run of the mill suburban dad.

It’s not that he isn’t a good cook or that he doesn’t like cooking, it’s just that he usually doesn’t have time to do so because of his job to serve and protect the citizens of Neptune. Crime never sleeps and more often than not, it feels like her father is batman.

So when her mother left - Meg was the swell age of fifteen, she was thirteen and Heather was seven - the girls had taken on the duties of the household which included cooking.

Meg had done most of the cooking and now that she was gone off to college, the duty had automatically fallen onto her so she feels kinda bad that she’d rolled out her window and left the responsibility on their father - who somehow managed to come home early on a day that she really wishes he hadn’t (because then Duncan wouldn’t have known she was home and this whole afternoon could have been avoided).

“I am,” he pips proudly. “Macaroni and cheese,” he says. It’s Heather’s favourite and Veronica’s a fan of it too. Basically the Mars family are suckers for Mac and Cheese or any kind of pasta and Italian food in general.

She eyes the plate of grated cheese and gasps, she picks up a few strands and her eyes are wide with fascination. “Homemade Keith Mars special with real shredded cheese? What’s the occasion? Not that I’m complaining.”

He laughs and she smiles, it’s been a stressful few weeks with Meg moving to New York having been accepted to NYU and it’s nice to see her father laugh without worry shining in his eyes.

“Alicia is coming to dinner,” Heather plops up on the stool and Veronica didn’t even hear the kid come down. She’s smiling widely and her eyes are twinkling like she knows something that Veronica doesn’t.

“Wallace’s mom?” Veronica tilts her head considering this new information.

Wallace Fennel, he’d transferred to Neptune High last year and he’d received a welcome from Neptune’s very own PCH Biker Gang - the welcome being stripped naked and taped up bare for the entire student body to see. They’d taken a personal interest in him after he’d been an honest employee and reported that they’d robbed (taken bottles of alcohol and thought a dollar bill would cover it) the store he worked.

She was the one that cut him down and had won the title of best friend ever since. She had managed to get the PCHers off his back - through sheer will, sneaking around and thievery. She doesn’t regret any of it though because Wallace Fennel had become her brother in every sense of the word except the literal.

“Darrell and I have a project together,” Heather says and Veronica arches brow at her little sister. “So Alicia is bringing him over and staying for dinner since Wallace has a shift at the Sac-n-Pac.”

Veronica knows her sister well enough to know she’s up to something, she’s babbling and jittery but Veronica’s had a hell of a day and just wants to focus on the one positive thing in her life right now which is the Mac and Cheese that her father is sliding into the oven.

 


	5. Chapter 5

It became painfully obvious that Heather and Darrell’s “project” was to set up their parents.

She’s not sure how she feels about that, her father is obviously the best father and man alive and Alicia is great too but there’s also the fact that Alicia is her best friend’s mother and there could be disastrous effects if they didn’t work out and she’s not a girl particularly fond of change.

The dinner itself goes well, her dad looks happy - happier than she’s seen him in awhile. Heather is practically a giddy puppy beside her and she wonders if Heather missed their mother.

She hoped that Heather didn’t because Lianne Mars wasn’t a mother worth missing.

* * *

Veronica flung herself onto her bed, she’s exhausted and her bed is just what she needs. After her day, she soaks in the comfort her bed offers but her mind spins because everything has gotten so complicated.

Backup joins her on her bed seconds later, he lays his head on her tummy and her hand naturally gravitates on to his head, stroking his fur and she smiles tiredly at him. She’s sure even her dog would make better decisions than she can at this point.

She wishes she could talk to Meg about it but what exactly is she supposed to say?

_Hey sis. Your ex-boyfriend thinks I’m in love with him and I’m not sure if that’s entirely wrong? But don’t worry because I’d never actually date him? And Logan Echolls thinks it’s a brilliant idea to pretend that we’re dating so that Duncan let’s this go and we can all be friends again. Urg. Shit. No way._

She lets out a breath, for all that’s wrong with her life right now, at least she’s gotten back two of the five letters she’d written.

Her letter to Piz had been sent back because it’d had the camp address that they went to and she’s thankful that it’s one less boy she has to explain her childhood feelings to - she was six and he shared candy with her and helped her with activities she’d rather have not partaken in. It was an innocent first crush and that’s all she’d wanted it to be.

Troy’s letter must be somewhere lost in transition - he moved a lot because of his dad’s job which is probably the reason his letter exists in the first place - anyway it’s another boy she doesn’t have to deal with but she’s uneasy at the mere fact that her letter is somewhere in the void.

And Duncan’s letter, she’s scared to think about it. The idea of just pretending with Logan sounds so appealing when she thinks about having to face Duncan but there’s so much unforeseen drama - namely Lilly - that she’d have to deal with.

Lilly used to be her best friend a long time ago, back in middle school before boys, boobs and popularity became a thing of necessity.

Veronica remembered how close they were - quite literally exchanging friendship bracelets and braiding each others hair - sometimes she can’t believe how much their relationship had changed to basically Lilly’s backhanded compliments or just out right insults.

But anything was better than Duncan Kane finding out her feelings for him, right? Because if there’s on thing Veronica absolutely does not want to do is hurt her sister who has been more of a mother than their own mother had been, especially after their drunk of a mother bailed on them.

 


	6. Chapter 6

“Let’s do this,” she says with unwavering confidence when she meets him at his locker and he smiles - like he’s amused and relieved and happy - it confuses her for about two seconds but then the next second he’s kissing her. Everyone’s eyes are on them; she can hear the catcalls but her brain is blank, all she can feel is him and the warmth that’s reached all the way to her toes.

He pulls back, smile spread on his face and she’s completely and utterly flabbergasted.

It takes her a second or two but she blinks out from the spell she’d been under, bobs her head decisively and says, “I’m going to trig.” She turns on her heel and she can feel his eyes trailing on her more than she can feel the unwanted stares of everyone else in the hall. “Have a good day,” she waves without turning back and makes her exit, hoping that no one notices how wobbly she feels after that kiss.

It’s her fourth kiss with Logan Echolls and she’s not sure how many more she can take.

* * *

She’s trying to pay attention to the way Mr Hans is explaining when to use the different formulas of sin, cos and tan but she’s already got it embedded in her brain with snapshots of tears streaming down her face and her freaking out that she’s going to fail her tests from a semester ago.

She’d aced the test. And she’s got the emotional scars to prove her efforts.

Ever since, she’s taken measures to avoid future academically charged panic attacks - and understanding her trigonometric equations was one of them.

Nevertheless, she tries to focus but she can feel the piecing gaze of Lilly Kane straining on her back.

And she can hear the whispers about her kisses with Logan. And the simple fact that there is a her and Logan.

* * *

Fake dating is a dangerous game, Veronica decides. In the span of a two day, she’s kissed Logan Echolls three times already and it’s not real. It felt _real_ but it’s _not._

So she’s drafting up a contract and firmly states _no kissing_.

Logan objects at first but she’s adamant, saying that when she makes out with someone she wants it to be real and he resigns to her will in the end, even though he wants to argue until he’s out of breath.

He adds in that she has to go to parties with him and come to watch him surf during competitions.

_Veronica will go with Logan to high school parties and to his surf competitions._

She’s not so much inclined to this rule but she agrees because going to parties with your boyfriend is something that a girlfriend is supposed to do.

She decides that support is a two-way street and scribbles in that he has to go to her soccer games.

_Logan will go to Veronica’s soccer games._

He agrees pretty easily, remarking on how hot she looks in knee socks. She rolls her eyes at him because that’s her soccer uniform and there’s no way that it’s actually hot. And there’s no way that Logan actually does find her hot, like at all.

Logan’s on a roll, stating that he’ll pick her up for school because that’s the boyfriend-ly thing to do. She wants to point out that Lilly often came in her own car but holds back since she doesn’t mind that condition all that much. She tells him that he’ll also have to drop of her sister to school and he bobs his head thinking of anything else he’d like to be conditioned into their arrangement.

_Logan will pick up Veronica for school._

He’s softer in his next suggestion, almost nervous and that’s one word Veronica doesn’t usual associate with Logan Echolls. “I, uh, I could write you notes everyday.”

It’s a surprising request because it’s something he wants to do for her, it’s surprising until she hears him go on about how it will piss off Lilly because it’s something she’d wanted and he’d never wanted to do it - because what’s the point with text messages being a thing of the present?

It’s strange to know that about Lilly Kane - that she’s a romantic that wants her boyfriend to write her love notes. It doesn’t fit who she knows Lilly Kane as but Logan knows Lilly better than anyone so she accepts his reasoning.

_Logan will write Veronica notes everyday._

Lastly, she writes down that _under no circumstances Veronica and Logan will tell the truth about their relationship._

They sign the ends of the page and shake on their newly made agreement, solidifying the start of their fake relationship.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Heather is completely taken with Logan; she’s practically bouncing in the backseat, her eyes are sparkling and she’s talking to him like she’s known him for a lifetime instead of just five minutes. Logan, of course, is happy as a puppy being shown such enthusiastic affection.

It’d be cute if Veronica hadn’t felt so unsettled about the prospect of now lying to her family. Lying to everyone at school was one thing - lying to Duncan was one thing but lying to her family? It’s not something she’s thrilled about doing.

She pushes the thought to the back of her mind as Heather asks her if Logan can come with them to the zoo this weekend - a trip that originally started as a Mars’ daughter-daddy bonding trip that turned into a Mars-Fennel outing last night when Heather had enthusiastically suggested that they come along too.

“Can I?” His eyes are bright and eager. It’s amusing that it’s very clear that he wants to go to the zoo because honestly she’s never thought of Logan as a guy who would want to spend his Sunday looking at animals instead of one of the many luxurious activities he could he participating in.

Even though he wants to go, he’s looking at her for permission and it feels surreal being a decision maker to Logan’s weekend schedule. She looks at her sister through the front mirror and sees the same expression on her face that is on Logan’s so she bobs her head and says, “Sure, if you really want to.”

As soon as she’s given her consent, Logan’s agreed and the two are practically gushing about all the animals they will get to see.

* * *

She’s holding hands with Logan the moment they’re out of his X-Terra, all the way to the quad as though it’s as natural as the sun rising in the morning - well Logan makes it seem that way. His hand is warm, soft against hers and she’s unprepared for how nice his fingers feel laced up with hers.

It brings back memories from when they were younger and he’d randomly play with her hand, tracing patterns and sizing up their fingers against each other.

It’s odd when she thinks about it but Logan’s always had this special ability to reinvent what the word normal meant for the time that he’s with her.

He’s headed for his regular table where the rest of the his friends and Lilly are seated. They’re chatting among themselves but Lilly’s eyes are on them and Veronica is unsettled.

There’s years of proof that she’s been able to take on Lilly in verbal combat but Lilly’s been known to play dirty with her _seduction_ and _manipulation_ and _money_.

Veronica hasn’t personally been on a level where she was warranted that kind of wrath from Lilly before but here, with her hands tightly clasped with Logan’s, she thinks maybe she’s hit that mark. Even though Lilly’s got a boyfriend, she’d always made it clear that Logan was hers.

Veronica wasn’t particularly afraid of Lilly, it’s just that Lilly Kane was an unpredictable force of nature and that was an inconvenience.

She tugs at his hand, halting him before they pass her usual table because she really doesn’t want to deal with the inconveniences that Lilly Kane brings to her life right now. “Let’s sit here.”

His brows furrow at the request and she’s already got her bag on the table. “Make her wonder what’s happening for a bit longer.”

Logan nods, following her thought process, he waves to his friends - because Dick Casablancas is already on his third ‘Logan’ shout (Veronica wouldn’t be surprised if Dick’s top three words were dude, boobs and Logan).

Just as they’re settled in, Duncan walks by, he looks stricken when he sees them at the table and Veronica eyes meet his as she wonders if the look is because she’s with Logan or if it’s because she’s with Logan at _this_ table - their table.

Logan sees the silent exchange between them and he brushes Veronica’s hair with his fingers, tucks it behind her ears and holds onto her face and he gazes her with _that look_ that shouldn’t be allowed to be used by a teenage boy and she wants to move away from him but his warm hand is stilling her.

He leans forward, his lips barely graze her left cheek but to his table it would look like a kiss on the cheek. She doesn’t expect his deep voice to whisper in her ear but he does and she all but shudders when he says, “Look at me, Veronica. Not him.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

“Damn girl,” Wallace blows out, plopping down on the seat next to Veronica at their usual table.

It’s lunch time now and the news of her and Logan hasn’t fizzled down at all - despite her hopes that it would. All anyone wants to talk to her about is Logan even if they haven’t spoken a word to her before.

She’d told Wallace yesterday, after she’d gotten home and he was supportive in the special way only Wallace Fennel could be.

She’d appreciated that, she appreciated him so she’d done the one thing she knew he’d liked more than anything else; baked him a box filled with snickerdoodles and left it in his locker with a note that said ‘don’t eat 'em all in one go, Papa Bear.’

She’d done this little sneak a box of cookies in his locker last year - it was during basketball season and she hadn’t told him it was her - she just enjoyed how happy he looked when he found it and how absolutely obsessed he became with snickerdoodles when he took his first bite.

She remembers the day so well. “It tastes like what heaven would feel like,” he’d gushed over a mouthful of snickerdoodles.

It warmed her heart that he’d liked it so much so she’d kept doing it - even though she wasn’t a particularly peppy kind of person - then he found out it was her after he’d come to her house and saw her shaping the cookies and setting them onto her tray. “I thought you didn’t like these kinds of stuff.”

She shrugged, she enjoyed baking at least. The other stuff was inconsequential when she knew how much he loved it. “Yeah, but you do.”

And now, he’s munching away on his cookies beside her saying she’s the best friend ever in the history of best friends.

And she smiles, bright and wide - she probably looks sappy but she’s happy - because she hasn’t felt like the best of anything lately.

“Why didn’t you wait for me after class?” She hears Logan’s irritated voice from behind her. He’s taking the seat across her now, his eyes are narrowed like she’s done a terrible misdeed.

She arches her brow, instead of answering him she goes on to introduce, “Logan, this is Wallace Fennel, my best friend.”

Logan shoots her a look - like he’s both offended and annoyed by her. “We have physics together,” is all he says instead of the rant he’s built up in his head. “Hey, man,” he greets once he’s settled in and Wallace bobs his head with a greeting of his own.

Veronica’s brows furrow, taking in this new information. “I didn’t know you two knew each other.”

“I told you he seemed like a cool guy yesterday, why would I say that if I didn’t know him?” Wallace asks her pointedly and Logan shoots him a pleased look at the compliment as his annoyance seemingly dissolves into a prideful smile.

She shrugs. She’d felt so relieved at his acceptance that she hadn’t really thought about the words he was actually saying.

Instead of commenting on her lack of awareness of their association, she remarks, “You better slow down there, Fennel. It’s just wrong how fast you’re swallowing it all in.”

“If eating snickerdoodles is wrong, I don’t want to be right,” Wallace says, mouth stuffed and he looks downright gleeful.

“Snickerdoodles?” Logan peeks into the pretty pink box, intrigued. “Are they really that good?”

Wallace gasps, loudly and dramatically - and Veronica rolls her eyes. “You’re dating her and you don’t know?”

Logan turns his gaze at her, surprised; he hadn’t thought pink boxes filled with cookies were her forté. “You made these?”

She nods her head. “They’re Wallace’s favourite.”

He’s a lot more interested in the cookies now. Because it’s another side to Veronica he hadn’t known before.

It’s strange when he thinks about it because Veronica Mars has always been this hardcore badass in his mind - all combat boots, Swiss Army knives and tazers. Kicking ass in soccer; fast, messy and determined. Not to mention, straight-A student with a quick silver tongue that probably knows more about law than most of the adults and ironically knows how to break them without getting caught.

And of course, now, there’s this Veronica that’s baking cookies for Wallace Fennel and going on family outings to the zoo and writes letters to boys that she likes and he realizes that Veronica Mars is really a marshmallow.

Or really what he realizes is that the girl he knew when he was twelve years old is the soft edges of this strong and becoming young woman.

“Can I try one?” He asks.

“No way, man,” Wallace hoards the box protectively. “These are a rarity that I treasure.”

“Because look at how you scruff them down,” she argues. “It’s not healthy.”

“C'mon, please?” Logan pouts, pulling out his puppy eyes. “I’ll convince her to make another batch, I promise. Let me just try one.”

Wallace perks up, the promise of future cookies officially seals Logan’s approval as Veronica’s boyfriend.

“Oh yeah?” Veronica raises her brow, cheekily staring at Logan. “And how are you gonna do that?”

Logan just winks at her, she smiles despite herself as he happily accepts the cookie from Wallace. He bites into and and gasps, “Ohmigod, marry me.”

She rolls her eyes but her smile stays bright and she can’t help the warm tug that his reaction brings inside her.

 


	9. Chapter 9

She’s in journalism class; it’s one of her favourite classes because she enjoys photography and writing articles that requires a bit of investigating unfortunately it’s also one of the classes she has with both Logan and Lilly.

She guesses it’s better than her Trig class because that’s just her and Lilly alone, at least here she has Logan.

It’s strange that her letter would bring them together in such an unorthodox way. It was a letter to say goodbye to him and here they were reconnecting - even if said reconnection is part of a scheme straight out of a cheesy 90s movie - to get back the people they love the way they want them.

The class is about to start, everyone’s settled down mostly except Logan’s hovering above her, handing her a note bared for the class to see - for Lilly to see, she’s sure.

She takes it, she knows it’s contracted and fake but the fact that a boy has given her a seemingly romantic note makes her feel a slight something - or maybe it’s the way Logan’s scribbled her name with a heart doodle on the folded bit.

She doesn’t turn to look at Lilly’s expression but she feels her piecing gaze like she has been the entire day they’re within the same room.

She opens the note and reads,

_Dear Veronica,_

_We did good today. I’m proud of us._

_P.S. Your snickernoodles are the best thing I’ve ever tasted._

_\- L_

She smiles, it’s a sweet note, not at all what she’d expected him to write - a part of her didn’t expect him to write anything because the purpose is just for there to be a note with her name on it.

But it’s nice so when she looks up and sees him looking at her, she grins and he grins back and it feels like they’re stuck in this time loop where it’s just the two of them.

It’s only when Ms Dent starts talking that their gazes break. The rest of the lesson goes much better than Veronica expects for it to go that is until Ms Dent assigns her an assignment with Lilly Kane.

As if her life wasn’t difficult enough already, now she had a long ass assignment that takes away her next three Saturdays. Usually, she wouldn’t mind but considering who she has to spend those Saturdays with, it’s kind of a big deal.

It’s Thursday now, and she hopes time goes slow before Saturday arrives.

 


	10. Chapter 10

“Hey, buddy,” Veronica coos at her favourite little mutt. “Who’s my good boy?” She continues as she scratches beside his ear and on his neck.

Backup wags his tail happily, enjoying the feel of her fingers and her unreserved affection.

“Wanna go for a walk, boy?” She chuckles at his enthusiastic response. Before bringing her home, Logan had dropped off Heather at her friends house so Veronica resigned herself to walking Backup alone - not that she minded, she enjoyed whatever alone time she could get.

* * *

The beach air feels nice against her skin, a bit chilly but it’s a welcomed feeling since the sun is bright and warm.

She throws Backup his ball and he eagerly runs to and back; it’s relaxing for her to leisurely throw the ball to him and have him running toward her like a bundle of happiness with the ball in his mouth.

He’s the best dog; Heather and her had wanted a dog for as long as she could remember - well she even longer than Heather. Her mother was against the idea, so that’s why she never had a dog for the first thirteen years of her life.

And after that, it was difficult to convince their father because he’d worked long hours and Meg was wary about the responsibility so it’d been deemed that it was too much for two little girls to handle.

And then she’d turned sixteen and one of the service dogs had given birth to six puppies. When Veronica found out about it, she’d tilted her head and battered her lashes at her dad, promising to take full responsibility and he’d caved. It’s one of the happiest moments of her life and she’s sure Heather feels the same way. And once the dog was in the house, Meg fell in love with him too.

Veronica had gone with Backup through training lessons with the other service dogs and he’d graduated with flying colours. Only difference was that she got to take him home and play with him like a regular dog but at his core, Backup is a guard dog - filled with intense desire to protect her and the family at all costs.

Veronica was busy laughing at Backup who was playing around with the birds, taking pictures of him on the beach running around and reacting to everything that she hadn’t noticed Duncan Kane calling her name until he was about five feet away.

Duncan hardly ever came to Dog beach so she knows this isn’t a coincidence. She feels her body go rigid because really she was expecting for her to be just a girl with a dog for just a few more hours before having to deal with her life.

“Veronica…” he says, he’s got this confused-conflicted look on his face and Veronica feels her heart race.

She knows this face - this face wants to talk and lay bare her soul - and she has the urge to yell for Backup to come back to her and protect her from being emotionally vulnerable against Duncan Kane.

But she can’t do that. She’s been hiding and running - ducking out of windows and putting up a Logan Echolls shaped wall in front of them and she knows that Duncan deserves some answers but she really doesn’t want to give them to him.

“I’ve been trying to talk to you. I came by, and nobody could find you…” he frowns. “And now you’re dating Logan Echolls?” He scoffs, like he doesn’t believe it and he’s not wrong because their relationship isn’t real but she feels offended.

“Why? Is it so hard to believe someone would like me?” She hates how her words gut her. She’s never had a real boyfriend before, all she has is her letters and what could have been and it hurts that Duncan - this boy who has been with her through so much - might think that she’s not good enough for someone to like her enough to actually be with. After all, he’d chosen Meg over her. Just like Logan had chosen Lilly. And Leo had chosen Sarah.

“No, no,” he shakes his head, brows knitted in deep concentration. “That’s not what I’m saying, what I mean is that he’s not good for you, Veronica.”

She balks away at that. Her chest swells with hurt. “Oh, but he’s good enough for your sister.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. Lilly’s life is a party and Logan’s life is the same. Yours isn’t, you’re the sweet and innocent girl that likes to to be home with her family, and I don’t know, I guess Logan doesn’t strike me as someone who would be into that.”

She fights the tears. Was that really what Duncan thought of her? Sure, she loved her family, that was a part of her but there was more to her than being the good little daughter to Sheriff Keith Mars.

And it stings her more than she’d care to admit that he’s voicing these thoughts that she’d had herself; Logan isn’t someone that’d be into her.

She tells herself that it’s because once upon a time she’d liked Logan and it’s not because he’s reappeared in her life.

"You know what, Duncan? Maybe, I’m not that innocent. And if that’s all that you wanted to talk to me about then I’m just,” she starts to walk away, toward Backup and just leave this whole afternoon behind her.

“No, no, Veronica, wait,” he sighs and brings out the letter, her letter and she freezes. “I don’t understand. What is this?”

She takes a deep breath, she can feel her face get hot in embarrassment, knowing that he knows things he wasn’t supposed to know.

Her heart is racing against her chest and she doesn’t really know what to say. She wishes Logan were here, he’d have her back like he’d done with Leo and just make this whole moment - conversation - disappear and then Duncan and her could be friends again and everything would go back to normal.

“I mean, it’s from you, right?” He hands her the letter and she takes it, she wants to tear it to pieces and pretend she’d never seen it before

“Yes. But no. I wrote it,” she wants to die as she explains this. She’d rather be taking a risk and kissing Logan Echolls again than having this conversation. “But I didn’t send it.”

“What is that supposed to mean, Veronica?

“Look, Duncan. I wrote that a long time ago,” she says, struggling with the words. “I don’t even remember when.”

“But this is all new for me, Veronica. I’m trying to understand here.”

“There’s nothing to understand, Duncan. It was a mistake. You should have never seen it.”

“But I did see it!” He shouts, frustrated and in despair and she flinches. It takes all of three seconds before Backup is at her side, barking at Duncan, ready to attack and Veronica assumes the only reason he hasn’t attacked already is because he knows Duncan and is waiting for her command.

Duncan flinches away, the most hurt look on his face and she feels torn.

She swallows, the entire situation has shook her. “Backup,” she says, as calming as she possibly can. “Be cool.”

Backup immediately eases up but he stands diligently at Veronica’s side, carefully watching the boy in front of her. She hooks his leach on his collar, just in case.

“I - just - what am I supposed to do now?”

“I don’t know. Not tell Meg,” she pleas, wide panicked eyes because the thought of her sister knowing physically hurts.

“Meg’s not even talking to me.”

“I’m sorry, Duncan. I have to go-”

“That’s it?” Duncan says, a little too loudly for Backups liking because he growls. “Meg dumps me and you’re dating Logan and we can’t even be friends anymore?”

“I want to be friends with you, Duncan but I don’t know how to be friends with you like this. We can’t go back to how it was before you and Meg were dating and we can’t go back to how it was when you and Meg were dating.”

_We can’t go back to before you read my letter._

“If I knew I was gonna lose you both I never would have -”

“Stop,” she says, her voice raw with emotion “Just don’t finish that sentence.” She tugs at Backups leach and makes her way to her car, leaving an anguished Duncan behind her.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Veronica’s in the middle of baking cookies for Heather’s bake sale - she’d been on the phone with Meg awhile ago who insisted brownies were an easier option but Veronica’s already got the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies and well she wants to make cookies.

Veronica couldn’t bring herself to tell Meg about Logan, to lie to her like she was to everyone else. It was unbearable not to so Veronica had quickly hung up their call and got to baking.

She’s got two batches of cookies out the oven but she’s got a fair amount to go. She’s trying to multitask through making the dough and shaping and letting them bake. She’s in the process of throwing in her wet and dry ingredients together when the doorbell rings, startling her.

It’s Logan and for a second, just when she opens the door and the light hits him from behind, he looks ethereal - in the most beautiful way. And she’s kinda stunned by it all; the glow surrounding his hair, the deep brownness of his eyes and the way his mouth curves upward drawing her in closer.

She’s quickly pulled out of her thoughts when she realizes he’s baring a wide grin and his eyes aren’t on hers like they usually are, it’s further south and she frowns until she realises that she’s wearing one of the million pun-filled aprons that her sisters love to buy.

The one she’s wearing is fully pink and has a cartoonised bun fresh out of the oven with the words, ‘ _I like big buns (and I cannot lie)’_ it’s one of the less sappy ones that they own.

He’s pulling out his phone from his pocket and she’s objecting the moment she realizes why he’s taken out his phone. He hasn’t even entered the threshold to her home when he snaps the picture of her.

“I just got my new background,” he grins, eyes twinkling with mischief and amusement.

“Seriously, Logan?” She grumbles. “I’m not even smiling.”

He quirks his brows and he’s still grinning. “Then smile,” he says, positioning his phone again.

She sighs. She knows if she doesn’t then he’s gonna use her frowning face. “If I smile will you delete the one you have?”

“Hell no,” he shakes his, still grinning. “I’m never letting that picture go but I can promise not to have it as my background.”

“No deal,” she huffs. And he’s inclined to snap more pictures of Veronica Mars being upset. He does so, and she glares at him.

He laughs. “Can I come in?”

“So you can terrorize me more?” Even as she says it, she steps out of the way to let him in.

“You’re gonna have to put me as your background too, you know.”

“Really, Logan, you wanna do that now?”

“Why not?” He shrugs. “Give me your phone.”

She makes her way into the kitchen and he follows. She finds her phone underneath a dish cloth on the counter and Logan chuckles. “You’re probably the only girl who doesn’t instinctively have their phone with them.”

“It’s because I’m busy,” she enunciates. “Heather has a bake sale.”

He bobs his head, taking her phone and snaps a picture of himself.

“How is it fair that you get to chose the picture you want as my background and I can’t?” She quizzes with a hint of annoyance.

He chuckles at that, because she looks so annoyed and he kinda wants to take another picture of her.

“Sure you can. And you can send me as many pics of yourself as you want, Veronica. Maybe I can have a slide show as my background,” he says and she’s not sure if he’s teasing her or seriously considering it.

She gets back to what she was doing, mixing the ingredients together and asks him, “What are you doing here, Logan?”

He’s leaning against her counter - like it’s a counter he’s known, like he belongs against the counter, like counters are suddenly a thing that just goes with Logan Echolls - she snaps out from her daze because he’s talking and she’s just staring at him against the counter.

“Didn’t you read my note?” He stares at her, confused. “I’m taking you to Dick’s party,” he says snatching a cookie from the plate.

She remembers the note, he’d slid it into her jeans pocket while holding her close at lunch for the whole crowd to see - for Lilly to see.

“Ohmigod,” he moans, the cookie melting in his mouth, his eyes are wide and he chews like he’s savouring every second and she smiles, amused and pleased at the reaction.

“You seriously have to marry me,” he breaths out, holding the cookie out like he’s in awe. “This is literally the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

She laughs. “I’m glad you like it,” she smiles. She’d gone through a lot of effort to make the perfect chocolate chip cookie, namely seemingly endless frustration of batches of good-but-never-good-enough cookies and dedicated research, analyzing everything that made a chocolate chip cookie the perfect one.

“I freaking love it. God, I’m honestly kinda in love with you right now,” he sighs, basking in the goodness that is the cookie.

She laughs, brushing off the continued compliments. “So about the party, I can’t go.”

“It’s in the contract,” he points out. He wants another cookie and he goes for it.

“Logan, it’s for Heather’s bake sale, you can’t finish them all.”

“Okay, okay,” he has his hands up, backing off and pouts.

She sighs heavily. “You can have one more.”

He smiles, happy and bright eyed. And she’s inclined to give him the whole plate if he’ll look that way forever. But she wiggles her finger and says firmly, “Only one.”

He smiles, happy and eager. “Seriously, best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

She gives him a smile because really Logan Echolls gushing over a cookie is an adorable thing.

“I have to get these done for Heather’s bake sale, Logan, this isn’t a coup out, I really can’t go.”

He considers this and suggests, “Okay, what if I helped you? Then we could make it, right?”

“You don’t even know how to bake.”

“You can dough them and I’ll shape them and put them in a tray.”

“It would save some time but not a lot because we still have to wait for them to be done in the oven so it’s gonna take awhile Logan.”

He bobs his head, understanding. “Get cracking, Mars, we’re burning daylight here,” he cheers, directly quoting her soccer coach and she giggles at that.

“Oh, but first,” she grins. “You need to wear an apron,” she waggles her brows and he’s unsure why she looks like so mischievous.

She digs through the drawn and she finds a light brown apron with a cartoon picture of a ball of dough, with a bag of flour kneeding it, with a curved caption saying, ’ _All you kneed is love.’_

He laughs, accepting the apron and putting it on himself. “Really, this is what got you all excited?”

She smiles, her phone is out and she giddily snaps a picture of him in all his glory. “Nope, this is. My new background,” she winks.

He chuckles, it’s actually a good picture of him laughing and he doesn’t mind the apron as much as she thinks he does - actually he quite likes it but he doesn’t say so.

He just let’s himself enjoy the fact that Veronica Mars looks practically giddy about his picture as her background.

–vm–

Veronica’s finally completed making the mixtures and was helping Logan with the shaping when her dad gets home.

“Is that Logan Echolls making cookies in my kitchen?” He asks; a clear form of surprise.

“It’s Logan Echolls helping to _shape_ cookies that _Veronica Mars_ made in your kitchen,” she corrects.

Keith laughs and Logan grins. “Hey, Mr Mars.l, I’d, uh, shake your hand but,” he waves his dough filled hands.

He chuckles and nods, “It’s good to see you again, Logan. You can call me Keith. So how’d she rope you into this?”

“She said she’d go to a party with me, Dick Casablancas?” He swallows, now nervous before the sheriff and unsure of what exactly to say. “If that’s okay? I’ll have her back by her curfew.”

“Only if we get them ready before it’s over. We still have to wait for the cookies to get baked.”

Keith shook his head, Veronica was forced to be more responsible than she should have for her age which is why he encourages her to go to the party with Logan. “Honey, I think I’m capable of taking out cookies from the oven and putting them in. You can go with Logan and it’ll be fine,” he assures her. “Why don’t you go get ready and I’ll take over?”

“But dad -” she tries to protest but her dad cuts her off, sends her to her room to get changed and sets down the ground rules to Logan who nods his head diligently and promises to abide by them all.

 


	12. Chapter 12

She’s surprised at how nice everyone - almost everyone - is to her but she guesses she shouldn’t be because they all see her as Logan’s girl and they do live to please him.

Logan’s chatting away to the guys, hands moving with great extravagance and making sure to keep her close all in one easy gesture.

And then the girls are beaconing her to them. Lilly is settled in the centre like a queen on her thrown and the girls are surrounding her, eagerly anticipating her command.

And this makes Veronica wish she were home waiting for the cookies to come out of the oven because she really doesn’t want to discuss her love life - her _fake_ love life - with these girls, with Lilly.

She doesn’t have much choice in the matter, fight or flight and Logan’s had her back so she’s got his. And so she sits on the couch, opposite Lilly Kane.

Lilly Kane; her philosophy on life is live it like it’s your last moment on Earth. And that’s what she does. She’s wild and carefree, passionate and devious. She knows what she wants and takes it; unapologetically cruel and unforgiving. She likes to control the way people sees her and she’s dangerous in the sense that all this still makes you want to be in her element.

Veronica doesn’t get a word in once questions are being fired at her - all about Logan and her relationship and it’s unsurprisingly because she knows that’s all they care about, knows that that’s why she’s here.

“So when did you and Logan start going out? Lilly comes back to this focal question and Veronica takes a breath, it’s an important question she knows because the ending of Lilly and the beginning of her is blurred with how fast their lives have been moving.

"Not too long,” she shrugs. It’s the fourth day of their contracted fake relationship. “We’ve been talking but it’s been a little over a week. It’s really new.”

“Isn’t that adorable?” She says it like Veronica is a thirteen year old with a crush and it irritates her to her core because she can feel the instant dismal of the newbie girlfriend who can’t hold a candle to their years together.

The group moves on, talking about homecoming and Veronica excuses herself - not that any of the girls take notice - to the bathroom.

When she comes back out, she sees Duncan standing across the room, talking to people she’s never seen him talk to before and she’s standing shell-shocked with her heart thumping against her chest. She knew Duncan sometimes came to these parties but he hasn’t been in awhile and the fact that he’s here makes her urge to run away stronger than it’s been the whole night.

She scans the crowd looking for an escape route but then she sees Logan. He’s sitting on a single couch, laughing engrossed in conversation with a soda in his hand. He looks so teenage boy, so normal and so carefree and she feels drawn to him.

She makes her way over to him and does what a girl in love with Logan Echolls would do; she sits on his lap and snuggles into him.

He’s shocked, she can feel it in the way his body tenses and stills and then he coughs a little to hide his surprise. She smiles trying to hide the way her nerves are taking over her momentary courage and presses a light kiss on his cheek. Her heart is thumping in a different way than before - more burning than sinking - and she tries to pretend that she’s not at all regretting this decision.

He adjusts himself to make them more comfortable; wraps his arm around her and rests his hand on her thigh. He presses a soft kiss on the tip of her nose and smiles like he’s telling her this was a good move, assuring her that he’s totally okay with this and wholeheartedly approves any future endeavours of her sitting on his lap.

She smiles now, more confident and determine, and laces their fingers together. She knows that Lilly is glaring at her and that Duncan is giving her disapproving and stricken looks like he has been the whole week but she doesn’t turn around to find out for sure instead she lets herself sink into Logan’s beautiful brown eyes even if only tonight.


	13. Chapter 13

It’s easy to get lost in the essence of Logan Echolls, especially when you’re snuggled in his arms.

Veronica’s relaxed against him, she listens to the conversation and quips in a remark from time to time and when she does, she feels Logan’s chest vibrate in laughs and it sends ripples of warmth through her.

She ignores everything past her line of sight and she’s got her head focused on the crowd of boys around them.

Next Friday, she’s got a soccer game and that’s unexpectedly become a line of topic.

When she’s asked about the game, she says, “Got a good feeling.” They’re playing Pan High and she doesn’t want to jinx it but she’s feeling confident about the game.

“So, boyfriend,” she says, bringing his attention to her. “Are you gonna be cheering me on?”

Logan grins - full-blown and toothy - and his eyes are bright with amusement. “Damn straight. The whole crowd will know that Logan Echolls is Veronica Mars’ biggest fan. So you know I’ll be expecting a goal dedication.”

The boys roar at that, excited and teasing like teenage boys are and she laughs, fully and without any reservation. “You know it, babe,” she nudges him playfully and winks.

It feels good being wrapped in the arms of Logan Echolls, joking around with the guys and being relaxed. The problem she has is that she doesn’t know where’s the line between real or fake. And there’s the lingering words of Duncan in her mind, coated with her own knowledge that they wouldn’t be here if they didn’t have reasons - reasons that have nothing to do with liking each other.

* * *

Logan suggests getting something to eat before taking her home and she shrugs, agreeing because she has time to kill before her curfew and she’s not one to say no to food easily. And well, Logan’s good company but she’s not going to inflate his ego anymore than it already is.

“God, you were amazing tonight. The guys loved you,” Logan says, leaning back on the leather booth and sipping on his chocolate milkshake. “And Lilly was pissed.”

It feels kind of surreal knowing that she’s able to make Lilly Kane jealous - except it’s not really _her_ rather it’s the fact that Logan Echolls is with _someone else_ \- still it’s a feeling she’s unfamiliar with but admittedly kinda likes.

“In hindsight, maybe we shouldn’t have pissed her off the day before I have to spend an afternoon with her,“ she groans as thoughts of the worse possible ways tomorrow could play out fill her mind.

“Veronica Mars, are you saying you’re afraid of Lilly Kane?” His brow arches because he knows Veronica Mars can be a deadly force if she wants to be.

“Well, if she’s so pissed, she’ll certainly be difficult to deal with and honestly I’d rather not deal with her at all.”

His brows furrow and he’s staring at her, considering and intense. “What happened with you guys? You use to be connected to the hip.”

She looks at him like he’s fallen from another planet. “Are you really asking me that?” He gives her a pointed look and she shakes her head, disbelieving. “You’ve had her for all these years and never asked _her_ but you’re asking _me_?” She huffs.

“High school happened, Logan,” she says like it’s a known fact. She’s thought through the reasons Lilly and her weren’t friends before. Puberty. Zip codes. Haves and have nots. And she realized that between 7th and 8th grade the only thing that had changed was Lilly.

“Lilly changed and I didn’t,” she gives the only explanation she knows but Logan’s looking at her like that’s not quite right and she doesn’t really know what to feel about it all but she’s gone through too much in life to care about people that didn’t care about her. “I don’t know. It’s not like we’ve had conversations about it.”

“It was just weird, is all,” he shrugs. He remembers them back when they were kids; happily skipping around, giggling against each others ears whispering secrets and declaring best friends forever.

”Not really,” she grumbles, picking up a french fry and nibbling on it - she wishes that the conversation about Lilly Kane would end.

He’s still staring at her like he’s trying to figure her out and she wants to just put her head in the hole so he can’t attempt to read her thoughts. "Can I ask you a question?”

It’s unsettling when someone asks to ask you question. It’s nerve-wrecking when the person is Logan Echolls and he’s staring at her with deep intensity.

“O-kay,” she lets out as casually as she can.

“Why haven’t you ever had a boyfriend?”

She stills for a second because it’s another conversation she doesn’t really know how to have but Logan’s still staring at her, awaiting answers that she doesn’t really know how to give and she kinda wants to go back to talking about Lilly again.

“I don’t know. I guess no one’s ever liked me like that,” she shrugs and as the words come out, he’s already looking at her like she’s ridiculous.

“I know that’s a lie because I know for a fact Casey Gant asked you to Homecoming last year and you said no.”

“Wow, Logan,” she blows out. “You know stalking is a criminal offence.” His eyes are narrowed on her and she shrugs off his defence. “Casey probably only asked me out to get back to Ashley.”

“I’m pretty sure he was into you,” he says matter-of-factly. “And I’ve been hanging out with you, Veronica,” his words are softer and deliberate. He’s peering closer to her and she feels like he can see into her soul. “I know the only reason you haven’t had a boyfriend is by choice.”

She feels her heartbeat quicken, her cheeks feel hotter and Logan’s not backing away. She doesn’t know what it is about Logan Echolls that makes her feel like running away and running to him all at the same time.

She doesn’t know what makes her confide in him exactly but she feels safe enough to do so, she feels like he won’t judge her.

“I can’t control how I feel about people but I can control how I deal with it,” she takes a breath, trying to figure out how to explain this all. “You know it feels nice to like someone but it’s scary,” she softly admits, it’s been a long time since she’s let herself feel so vulnerable and open to someone other than her family. “Because the more people I let into my life, the more people can just walk right out.”

“Like your mom, right?”

It’s a sore subject, one she doesn’t really like to discuss but the whole town knows that the sheriff’s drunk wife fled town leaving him and three little girls behind.

“Yeah,“ she whispers and nods her head because her whisper is so soft she’s not sure he’s heard her.

He’s silent for a moment, considering and she wonders if he’ll let it go now.

“You ever think that you’re better off?” his voice is deep and raw and she looks at him in surprise. She’s used to sympathetic apologies and pitiful glaces but she’s never been asked that before.

He lets out a breath, like he’s fighting wars with himself. “I always felt that way about my father,” he admits, he’s surprised at himself for saying it but he lets himself for once.

Veronica didn’t know much about Logan’s family. She knew what everyone knew; Aaron and Lynn Echolls were Hollywood royalty. He’d cheated on her and during Lynn’s Christmas party Aaron Echolls had been stabbed by a psychotic waitress who’d claimed betrayal.

He swallows, like this is hard to talk about but he still wants to talk about it. “He was so messed up, Veronica. The things he did,” he staggers, it’s harder to breath when he talks about his father like _this_. “But I still felt grief for him despite it all. And then it felt like we were better after he was gone,” he lets out a shakey breath, he’s letting it all out for the first time and then he kinda feels like shit because Veronica doesn’t know the monster that Aaron Echolls was.

“I just felt like maybe you’d understand ‘cause of your mom. I know it’s not the same thing but -”

“I get it,” she nods, a small appreciative smile on her lips and he instantly feels better - it’s been a year and he hasn’t said a thing about it to anyone else before and she’s sitting across a booth with a soft smile, understanding the demons he doesn’t know how to face.

He lets out a breath, a light chuckle. “You say you’re scared of commitment and relationships, but you don’t seem to be afraid to be with me.“

She tilts her head and Logan could very well get lost in her eyes. “Well, there’s no reason to be.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?” the words flow out of him easily but her answer is something he’s desperate to know. It’s been awhile since he’s expected something from anyone, he wants her to say that he’s an exception to the messed up rule her mother created when she left - or something along the lines of how she can trust him. Because he trusts her, so much more than he’d ever wanted to let himself trust anybody.

"Because we’re just pretending.”

Everything disappears after that. She says it so plainly but it feels like she’s standing on his heart and doesn’t even know it.

She’s not wrong. They are pretending. But everything they’ve said to each other, that hasn’t been fake, he knows it. He wishes she realized it too.

“Right, of course,“ he bobs his head like he knew that answer all along. "We should get you home, don’t want the sheriff getting out his shotgun, do we?”

She feels a heavy ache in her the pits of her stomach, it’s not physical pain just the feeling that something is wrong. She doesn’t know why she feels like she’d said the wrong thing the moment it was out of her mouth because it’s something she’s had to remind herself of constantly. It’s the way Logan looks at her that makes her wish she’d said something different because even though she knows it was the right answer, it wasn’t the whole truth but she doesn’t know if she can handle Logan knowing that yet.

 


	14. Chapter 14

There's nothing like a morning walk with Backup to sooth her mind. It's early Saturday morning, sunny as always in Neptune, California. And she's savouring the calming sensation the ocean always brings her.

She has an evening ahead with Lilly - that she's _been_ dreading - and last night Logan and her had left off with an unsettled vibe. She supposes it's the lack of banter with his distant smile that leaves her feeling all out of sorts.

So to remedy her agitating feelings she'd decided to bask in something familiar and thus had awoken Wallace in the early hours of the morning, he'd fussed for all of two seconds before she tempted him with chocolate chip cookies to get out of bed and come along with her to the beach.

It was a good feeling; standing beside her best friend while he happily flew his remote control plane and her dog teasing the water with his paws, jumping around and wagging his tail at every turn.

She's enjoying the wind in her hair and the view of the waves - delicate and rough at the same time - before it shimmers into icy champagne like bubbles underneath her feet.

And then she sees him - _Logan_ \- moving with the water like he's liquid himself. He's absorbed in his natural element, so pure, so overwhelmingly beautiful in the way he curves his passage through the waves and she's completely taken away. She lets herself get caught in his every move, so invested that she feels the anxiousness right to her toes when she thinks he's about to fall and relief washes over her when he rides them to safety instead.

"Is this why you wanted to come to the beach so early?" Wallace asks, breaking her focus on her publicly acclaimed boyfriend.

She lets out a breath, she had no idea he'd be here and honestly she didn't know how to act around him after last night. She cocks her head and shrugs, "You got me, Papa Bear."

"What have I told you about calling me that? You're single handedly ruining my street cred."

She huffs a laugh, "What street cred? You live on the corner of Pleasant Valley and Marigold."

"Ronnie!" She hears call from a distance and instantly cringes. There's only one person that's taken to calling her _Ronnie_ and that was Dick Casablancas. "Hey, Ronnie!"

She sighs, fakes a smile and turns. Wallace laughs, going back to his plane and Dick is waving wildly with a bright smile and jogging toward her.

She gives a small wave and when he's close enough, she says, "Hey, Dick."

"Duuuudddeee," he gives her a look like he's disappointed. "Why didn't you come out in the water?" He asks, clearly uninterested in any possible reason she could give. "Anyway, we're heading out for breakfast. Hope you're in the mood for waffles, Ronnie," he waggles his brows and she slightly grimaces away.

"Uhm, actually Dick, I'm not gonna be able to make breakfast."

"C'mon, Ronnie, Logan's been in a mood and I _know_ , you'll fix him right up."

"Logan looks fine to me, Dick," she points out. "And anyway I can't take Backup to eat breakfast."

"Why would you need back up to eat breakfast?" He shakes his head. "Logan's good in the water, it's once he's out that he's mopey McMopster."

Her brows furrow as she tries to keep up with Dick. "What's he moping about?" She asks before she can catch herself, she's sure it something about Lilly. There's no way that _she_ could have actually affected Logan on a level that was mope-worthy. "And Backup is my dog."

Dick shrugs. "Who knows? But he's happy with you so I figured you could cure him."

She's not so sure about that but a part of her wants to try to make him feel better. She spots him just past Dick's shoulder; he's talking to the guys and leaning against his surfboard with his wetsuit halfway undone hanging loosely on his waist.

Her mouth is dry as she out right stares and Dick is giggling, saying something crude, she glares at him and snips at him to shut up. He doesn't stop giggling and she doesn't really stop staring that is until Logan catches her eye and starts walking towards them.

Dick's already acquainting himself with the pit bull that is Backup and Wallace is keeping a watchful eye to make sure that Backup doesn't chew off the surfer's hand.

She smiles at Logan, tentatively and carefully waits for him to make the first move or say the first word.

He smiles at her when he's up close and naturally leans down to her. In a second she's surprised at how tingly she starts to feel and how her body naturally lifted up - for what she didn't want to think about - but he's pressed a kiss against her cheek and she lets out a breath and staples her feet to the ground because _yes this is what you get when you've added no kissing to a contractual agreement; pecks that tell the world hey this is my girlfriend and not head-to-toe set fire to my soul kisses._

"Hey," he tilts his head and smiles quizzically, tucking her hair behind her ear before his hand falls back to his side "You're out and about early this morning."

She bobs her head. "Backup was getting angsty holed up at the house," she says. "I didn't know you came here."

"Yeah, we don't usually, when the waves are looking good we do though," he explains albeit awkwardly.

She nods her head, again and they’re awkwardly just staring at each other for a long moment before she says, "You were really good out there."

"Yeah?" He peaks at her from beneath his lashes with his halfway goofy grin and she chuckles.

"Yeah," she tilts her head, feeling her smile get wider as she looks at his bright and happy face.

"I like it out here," he lets out a calming breath. "Think I'll come by more often."

"Wow those waves really made an impression, huh?" She teases, happy that they’re getting their rhythm back.

"Maybe it's the hot blonde waiting for me in the shoreline that did?" He winks, smirk adorning his face.

She quirks her brow at him and laughs, rolling her eyes. _There he is. Fun, flirty beyond control and attentive Logan._

  
  



	15. Chapter 15

_Dear Seventeen Magazine,_

~~_What are the top ten tips for dealing with your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend?_ ~~

_Dear Seventeen Magazine,_

_How do you deal with your fake boyfriend's ex-girlfriend who incidentally used to be your best friend when you were kids and now hates your guts?_

She wishes she'd asked for another assignment - anything that didn't have her working with Lilly Kane. But she knows she couldn't because that would mean admitting she's _uncomfortable_ or _afraid_ or _threatened_ \- all adjectives she can't afford to be associated with how she feels about Lilly Kane because then Lilly would _win_.

So she's going to deal with an awkward evening with Lilly Kane as they attend the Battle of the Bands qualifiers.

It's a relevantly easy assignment; she's gotta take some pictures and Lilly's gotta ask the band a couple questions, it's basically a promotional piece for their school band but it'll be easy as long as Lilly _lets_ it be easy.

If Neptune High's _Tritons_ get through - which is highly likely - they'll need to come in next week for a follow-up interview and photo shoot.

The third and final week is when the last two bands battle it out for the prize - Veronica's not sure if they'll make it that far but if they do she and Lilly will have to be spending the evening together again.

She wishes Wallace could have accompanied her but he's got a date with Georgia - the girl he's been crushing on for far too long before he'd did anything about it - and Logan's out of the question.

It's scary how limited her friend list is - she thinks of Duncan for a second but he's further out of the question than Logan.

She wishes Meg were still here.

She swallows, glances over herself in the mirror and sucks it up because she's a girl on a mission and dealing with Lilly Kane isn't worse than getting a bad grade.

Because above all else, Veronica Mars is a girl that needs to maintain a 4.0 GPA that's going to get her into Stanford.

* * *

Veronica's surprised at the turn out, the place is crowded but she easily spots Lilly - centre of attention as always even if she's supposed to be behind the scenes.

Veronica pushes her way through to get to Lilly because even though she doesn't want to make her presence known, she knows that it's inevitable.

"Oooh!" Lilly giggles, wide smiles and mischievous green eyes. "Look who's shown up guys," she wiggles her brows all playful like she's welcoming Veronica into this sisterhood where they let loose and have fun with each other. "Veronica Mars!"

Veronica doesn't know what to make of it, she's suspicious because it's Lilly Kane and she's Veronica Mars (It meant something great at twelve years old and it means the complete opposite at seventeen).

She shouldn't be surprised that Lilly's got a drink in her hand, it's the way of high society.

"Lilly," Veronica says, curtly and unimpressed. "I'm gonna take some pictures of the band before they go on, could you get some quotes?"

"Gosh, Veronica Mars, can you ever just like have fun? Why do you gotta be all business all the time? You know you're never gonna keep Logan with all your Plain Ole Jane virtues."

Veronica bites down on her teeth, begging herself to not snark, to not give Lilly any more ammunition. "Thanks for the advice, Lil," she smiles tightly. "Make sure to get those quotes okay? Before and after, thanks."

She doesn't let Lilly say another word, she's spun on her heal and headed away. Maybe she can work without Lilly. She can ask questions and take pictures and this won't be a complete mess.

* * *

Neptune High's _Tritons_ naturally qualify to the next round and Veronica's surprised that Lilly actually does her part in the interviewing process even if she flirts her way through it.

She gathers up her gear when she hears Lilly's frustrated huffs. "What the hell are you doing in LA? How am I supposed to get home?"

Veronica's not sure who she's talking to Duncan, her boyfriend or some other guy. But she's sure that no matter what their differences Duncan wouldn't abandon her of he knew she needed a ride and she also knew Lilly would rather be stranded than admit she needed Duncan's help.

"Mother dearest has the driver with her and I don't know where Duncan is," she says through a clenched jaw, her face red and frustrated. "Whatever, dad, I'll find my own way home."

Lilly shuts her phone off, cursing at it - at him - her father - and it takes Veronica by surprise because Lilly has always been daddy's little girl even when she was at war with her mother.

Veronica swallows and offers, "If you need a ride home, I can drop you off, Lilly."

She wants to kick herself for asking but here she is with Lilly Kane - the very rarely damsel in distress - and she's Veronica Mars a sucker for helping people even if they don't particularly deserve it.

"I don't need any favours from you, Veronica Mars."

Veronica wants to let it go, she tried and Lilly is still being an entitled little brat. But she doesn't let it go, "Then don't consider it a favour. Consider it a professional courtesy."

Lilly rolls her eyes, sucking away any frustrated tears threatening to fall and mutters, "Fine."

* * *

"Wow, Veronica, it must have been a huge cereal box," Lilly remarks, already hopping into the passenger seat.

"Do you wanna walk?" Veronica counters with an arched brow.

Lilly rolls her eyes, "Chill out, sassy Nancy." Lilly fiddles with the radio and Veronica lets her for the sole reason of not having to sit in awkward silence.

"You know when Duncan started high school he wanted to join the Tritons," Lilly says casually through the music.

Veronica snorts, "Duncan can't hold a note to save his life."

"Ain't that the truth," Lilly giggles before humming along to a song on the radio.

The relationship between Lilly and Duncan was hostile at best. Duncan was the golden boy, momma's favourite and daddy's successor. While Lilly was the troubled child, the rebel without a cause.

She remembers at the tender age of thirteen, a fed up Lilly Kane declaring war on her mother, "If I can't please 'em, I'm gonna piss 'em off."

Duncan was the opposite but maybe that's what positive reinforcement did. There was a time when he'd tried to get along with Lilly but she saw him as everything she wasn't and repelled anything he offered to her including his support. He gave it to her anyway.

The Kane siblings were different than the Mars' siblings but Veronica thinks that they love each other the same as all siblings do.

"Hey, Veronica?" Lilly says, just before she shuts the car door closed. "How about next week you invite Logan along? We can double date. I mean Logan and I are friends, we can be friends too."

She wants to say that she doesn't think Logan will appreciate spending the night with the guy Lilly's left him for but that would imply that he cares and even though he does - they don't want Lilly to know that.

Veronica smiles tightly. "I'll think about it."

Lilly smiles, wide and enchanting. "Thanks for the ride, Veronica Mars."


	16. Chapter 16

“Okay, what’s going on?” Logan finally asks, hands on the steering wheel and eyes on the road but he’s too well attuned with his surroundings to not notice the giggling kids in the backseat.

“Heather and Darrell are playing cupid,” Veronica remarks, chewing on a piece of liquorice as she twists around in her seat to get a look at the giggling duo.

“Cupidress,” Heather corrects. “Or well you could just go ahead and call me Aphrodite, the goddess of love.”

Logan chuckles, brows perking up, amused, “Alright, Miss Goddess of Love, who are you aiming your arrows at?”

Veronica tilts her head and informs him, “Nope, Cupid’s the one with the bow and arrow," she points directionlessly at him with her liquorice as he drives. "Aphrodite has a magic _girdle_.”

His lips curves, remarking, “Chill out Athena, I was talking to Aphrodite here.”

Veronica rolls her eyes, munching away, trying to focus herself on the scenery outside instead of the boy next to her. “Sure, Poseidon, get back to your mixed up mythical references.”

“Sheesh, someone’s testy this morning.”

“Not all of us can sleep through the car ride like Wallace here," she jerks her thumb in the direction of the back seat where Wallace is leaning his head against the window, snoozing away until they reach the zoo. "And I didn't get enough sleep last night."

"Thoughts of me?" He quips, batting his lashes. "Hey, I get it. Sometimes I’m up all night, just thinkin’ about myself.”

She resists the urge to smack his shoulder since he's driving and settles for making him regret his unwanted snark. "Actually I was baking a chocolate cake for us to have for dessert but guess who just cost himself a slice?"

Logan groans, he wants to look at her with pleading eyes but he doesn't want to take his eyes off the road for too many seconds. "C'mon, Veronica, don't I get credit for driving us all there?"

"Nope, you wanted to drive," she mercilessly points out.

"Heather asked me to drive," he retaliates. "Who am I to deny the kid her wish?"

Veronica sneers at the reminder. "I drive perfectly fine, thank you very much and if she had a such a problem she could have rode with Dad and Mrs Fennel."

"No!" Heather objects, almost leaping out of her seat to defend her choices but thankfully has on her seat belt that's holding her down. "The whole point is that Dad and Alicia can have some alone time!"

"Oh," Logan lets out, comprehending who her two victims of love were.

"And she said you drive like you're in a NASCAR game," Darrell points out and Heather objects with a loud _hey_ for the treachery. He shrugs, "That's what you get for sticking me with the middle seat."

"Urg!" Veronica huffs. "That happened once! And I thought we were being followed by the E-String Strangler. And maybe you shouldn't get any cake either."

"Who wants a piece of the leaning tower of Pisa anyway?" Heather snarks. "Besides we want ice cream for dessert, not cake."

Veronica lets out a long _psshhttt_ sound and grumbles, "It goes down your throat the same either way."

* * *

“We’re getting on the bus!” Keith eagerly says, map in hand, ready to go.

“Dad, no," Veronica whines, she's hungry and hot and wants to just sit and eat something - _anything_ \- before they start their journey from one end of the zoo to the other.

“It’s only half an hour Veronica. Half the zoo, half an hour," he emphasizes like it's a bargain they can't possibly pass up on.

"I've got snacks," Alicia interjects and Veronica's eyes are drawn to the overly big beach bag that Alicia's carrying. "You can have some to tide you over until we can eat," she offers with a smile and Veronica eagerly accepts, looking at her best friend's mother like she's a savour sent from above.

"Sandwiches are life savers," Veronica hums happily, settling on the upper level of the double decker bus with Logan next to her. She admits, it is easier to take the bus but hunger takes precedence over everything else and Veronica's never been more grateful for Mrs Fennel.

Logan chuckles, nodding his head and stares at her adoringly. Yesterday while surfing he'd come to many revelations; one being that he's gonna show Veronica just how real they are. He's come to understand her a lot in their short time together and knows he can't lay out his feelings to her just yet.

She'd been firm in the fact that she doesn't want to date him and doesn't like him but he feels like that's changed - they've changed - in the sense that she does care about him, has fun with him, can be honest with him and maybe all these feeling were always there buried underneath the spells of her letter. And now he's opened the letter - broken the spell - he's seen her bared feelings and he wants to open her heart and see what's in there now.

She's been hurt, she has trust issues and she'd rather leave before she's left. She has all these premeditated notions in her head and he's hoping he can deconstruct each one and in time she'll come to see him as he sees her.

So he's doing his best, showing her he likes her, showing her she can trust him and showing her that he's there - that he's going to be there. And he can see that she's doing the same even if she doesn't realize it yet.

“Ronica," Heather says, bright eyed as she turns from her seat in front of them. "Make sure to take out some good _koala_ -ty pictures,” she giggles and nudges Darrell, who's looking excitedly at said Koalas and giggles along with her.

“Don’t worry, she’s got the koalafications,” Logan winks, instantly joining in before Veronica can make a snarky remark.

"And if she's under _koala_ fied, we just have to _bear_ with it," Darrell outright laughs along with Heather, the two thoroughly enjoying themselves the moment they stepped out of their houses.

"So glad I could be of amoosement to you," Veronica remarks, straight-faced and seemingly exasperated. The kids giggle wildly and Logan chuckles, happy that she's not really upset and Veronica obligingly snaps shots of the Koalas hugging the trees and eating leaves.

"Guess what," Wallace leans forward in his seat, his head popping between Logan and Veronica, startling the couple.

"You've finally found where they're stashing the unicorns?" Veronica pipes, hope springing in her eyes.

"It's better than unicorns, Vee," he grins widely, suddenly full of energy unlike his earlier slumberly state.

"Damn, man," Logan chuckles. "You've got it bad."

"You would know," Wallace reproaches, nudging Logan with his shoulder from the back.

Logan peaks at Veronica and she shakes off his look. "Is this about Georgia?" She asks, brow arches, already knowing the answer.

He bobs his head. "She said she can meet me at the zoo. Isn't that great?"

"Ronica," Heather calls out once again. "Look," she says, pointing to an Orangutan swinging on the tree. "It's you!" She bursts out in giggles.

Veronica huffs. "Oh and look at that, you're right there next to me," she sticks out her tongue, unwilling to be defeated by her little sister.

"Who's the eleven year old, again?" Wallace chuckles, shaking his head.

"I'm eleven and a half," Heather points out, firm in the fact that she's not merely eleven anymore.

“Oh, hey, Heather, look it’s you,” Veronica smirks, gesturing to the Tasmanian Devil, a cheeky smug look on her face while Heather gasps.

“I happen to think it’s adorable,” Logan winks, earning Veronica a playfully triumph tongue out from Heather.

* * *

Heather obsesses over getting a picture with _everything_. And more so, she obsesses over getting Logan and Veronica to take _coupley_ pictures together whenever she sees _coupley_ things. Like if two animals are being cute together or if there's statues that seem romantic - not that there are many - except maybe for this one particular statue.

It's a statue of a sailor, dipping a nurse and kissing her full on the mouth; the famously known _Unconditional Surrender_ statue

Veronica hasn't denied her sister much but this is one of the things she simply cannot do and Heather whines, "C'mon, Ronica, it'll be so romantic! I mean you dragged Logan to the zoo and you can't even give him one kiss?"

Veronica gaps at her little sister. " _You_ dragged Logan to the zoo and I'm not gonna kiss Logan like that _here_ with dad right _there_! I'm not insane."

Heather concedes the point but she's not happy with it. "Urg, fine, but I still want a picture of you two with the statue. I need proof to send Meg that you actually have a boyfriend."

Veronica sighs, she's been meaning to tell Meg about Logan's new role in her life and now that everyone but Meg knows, she really doesn't have much of a choice.

She's standing next to Logan, their fingers laced with a camera ready smile in front of the statue as Heather snaps a picture and shakes her head, asking them to try another pose.

It takes three more tries before Heather is satisfied with one where they're gazing into each others eyes.

She leaves them be and turns to her father, begging him to let her take one out with him and Alicia.

Keith chokes back a cough while Alicia chuckles, accepting the request. Veronica's just glad that Heather didn't demand they kiss in front of the statue like she'd done with her and Logan.

* * *

“I am a koalafied match-maker,” Heather brags, puffing out her chest and twirling around like the power of love has given her unreserved energy even though it's the end of the day and everyone else is exhausted.

“Oh, are you now?” Veronica arches her brow, she's holding Logan's hand and they're walking up a nearby park to set up a nice evening picnic. Alicia has prepared a variety of food and kept it in a warmer in the car along with a cooler filled with water and soda. They also have Veronica's home-made chocolate cake for dessert that Veronica's been coaxed into sharing with Logan. And Logan has somewhat been coaxed into getting ice cream for the ~~two kids~~ \- three kids including Veronica.

"Mmmhmm," Heather hums, she's smiling wide, proud and again she's got that ' _I know something you don't know'_ look on her face. "Just look at you and Logan.”

Veronica's hand tightens it's hold on Logan's. “Me and Logan?”

Heather notices the look on her sister's face and freezes, decidingly changing her mind from saying anything more because one, Veronica looks stricken and two, she doesn't know if Logan's supposed to know what she knows.

Veronica stares at her little sister, she's got a feeling that she needs to know what Heather knows so she lets go of Logan's hand and dashes after the now running girl. She feels an adrenaline rush hit her because it all makes sense if what she thinks is true, she just doesn't know why her sister would do that to her.

"Heather, get back here," she calls out, she's the star of the soccer team and she's beaten Heather many a times at racing so it's only a matter of time until she catches her.

Logan stays rooted in his spot, deep confusion spreading over his face as he watches the girls get further and further away, everyone else is setting up for their evening picnic and he wonders if he should leave them to it or catch up. The moment Veronica had tightened her grip on his hand, he'd felt the tension right to her fingertips.

Heather is hiding behind a tree, darting back and forth so Veronica can't grab her. "Okay, I was the one that sent out the letters," she admits, hoping her honesty gets her some mercy points with her sister.

“I’m gonna kill you, you little brat," Veronica lunges across and Heather darts away as quick as her small body allows.

“Oh, come on, Ronica, Logan’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you," Heather makes her plea. She can see the difference in her sister's life; everyone in Veronica's life let her live in her comfort zone and Logan brought her out of it in a way that didn't seem all that uncomfortable and Heather figures that's a rare thing to have.

“Veronica," Logan calls out, jogging to the girls.

“You didn’t have to send out all five!" Veronica says as she thinks of how messed up everything has gotten with Duncan and how she's now keeping secrets from Meg.

Heather pouts, puppy eyes are out and her head tilts, just like she'd learned from Veronica and she slightly shrugs, “I thought five chances at a boyfriend were better odds.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Logan holds Veronica steady before she could once again dart to her sister and Heather quickly runs behind Logan. “What’s going on?”

“Veronica’s being totally irrational," Heather says, her adrenaline rush catching up to her.

“I’ll show you irrational," Veronica grunts, trying to move away from Logan but he wraps his arms around her and holds her tight against him with a soft but firm, _hey_ \- a hey that's reminding her that she's going attack mode on her eleven year old sister.

“She sent out the letters," she tells him, her anger slowly subsiding.

“Oh," he lets out a breath and loosens his hold on he see her face. "Well, you can forgive her since it worked out, right?” He gives her a pointed look.

“I just wanted you to be happy, Veronica," Heather softly admits.

Veronica sighs. “I wasn’t unhappy.”

“But you’re happier with Logan, right?” Heather peaks, still slightly behind Logan but now can visibly see her sister's facial reaction.

“Right," Veronica pats Heather's hair, softly, letting her know that she's forgiven. "But you owe me one."

Logan leans down to Heather when Veronica starts to to walk away, "Hey, kiddo, I owe you one," he winks and Heather brightens, all regret officially thrown out the window.

"You better not hurt her, Lo," Heather warns. "Especially not since you've got the Mars _seal_ of approval."

He chuckles, rubs a hand over her head like Veronica had done. "I don't intend to," he softly says. "Thank you, Heather."

She bobs her head, smiles widely and drags him along to the picnic; she's glad she invited him.


	17. Chapter 17

_Dear Veronica_

_I had a lot of fun at the zoo, we should go again sometime. Maybe we'll get a chance to see the pandas?_

_\- L_

_P.S I thoroughly enjoyed your leaning tower of chocolate cake._

Veronica chuckles at the note, remembering how _thoroughly_ he had enjoyed it. She makes a mental note that chocolate goodies are kryptonite against Logan Echolls.

She wonders what other foods he likes. Does he like lasagne as much as she does? She remembers that he's allergic to shellfish, was there anything else he was allergic to? She tries pulling out memories that she'd long ago sealed away and she wonders if he still likes honey on his toast.

* * *

"Look what the cat dragged in, Veronica Mars," Trina smirks, descending down the staircase like she's in a movie and this is the moment everyone's been dying to see.

Veronica gives her a small smile and a head bob. "Hey Trina, how's it going?"

"I thought you were in Australia," Logan says; he would have postponed this dinner if he'd know his sister was back in town. Trina's an unpredictable wild force of nature that would embarrass him without a second thought for her own amusement - he doesn't want to have to deal with that when he has all of these other added pressures in making this dinner go well.

"Yeah, well, I'm back baby bro," she grins, enjoying the fact that he's rattled with her presence. Trina's always had the most fun when people didn't want her to be there. "So I've clearly been out of the loop lately. Are you two together now?"

Logan's hand finds Veronica's and he starts to tug her away to the kitchen or any other room where his sister is not. "Yeah," he answers. "Hey, if you're back home who's playing Dead Hooker number 2 on CSI?"

Trina rolls her eyes and decidingly ignores her brother in favour for the blonde beside him. "Veronica, look at you. All grown up. Hey, we should go shopping sometime now that I'm back in town."

Veronica nods her head, offering the aspiring star a smile. "Sure, Trina."

* * *

It feels like she's living in a flashback of her life when she settles down at the Echolls' dinning room table. The home décor hasn't changed much - minus all of the Aaron Echolls' blockbuster movie posters that were once plastered along the walls - Lynn Echolls is still the charming hostess she always was (though she does look lighter and more radiant than ever before).

Veronica's happy to see that it's still Mrs Navarro cooking that's filling up the table - she'd always made delicious food that tasted like heaven on a plate.

"Logan tells me you have two sisters," Lynn says, bright smile and pearly white teeth. "Your mother must love having three girls."

"Her mother's not with them anymore, mom," he says, wide-eyed and pointedly, before Veronica can even get a word in.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Veronica," she amends, bashful and eyes full of sympathy. "I remember now."

"It's okay," Veronica assures her, picking at her food with her fork. "Dad, he loves having three girls," she adds in, trying to de-spell the awkward tension. "But you know I think he secretly wanted one of us to be a boy, someone to play catch with and go fishing," she chuckles, hoping to ease up any of Lynn's concerns. "I don't mind the sports but fishing is way too gruesome."

Lynn chuckles along with her, sensing what the petite blonde is doing and welcomes it. She continues to cut her meat and mentions, "Maybe he can take Logan with him the next time he wants to go fishing."

Trina snorts, loudly and radically. "Logan's so spoiled, he might as well be a girl," she remarks. "Don't let his tough-boy looks fool you, Veronica Mars. Logan won't survive a day without a household staff and take-out."

Logan is already regretting accepting his mother's invitation for dinner.

Veronica humours Trina with an uneasy chuckle and at the same time defends her faux boyfriend. "He did help me bake some cookies once so maybe there's hope for him yet."

Logan gives her a smile and she reciprocates the gesture, feeling her heart swell at the way his eyes seemed to light up.

* * *

After dinner, Logan pulls Veronica away to the pool house because Trina is wildly inappropriate and his mother gets a call from her agent and reaches for a drink so he knows she's getting bad news.

It fills him with disappointment whenever he sees her fall into old habits but his mother definitely takes bad news better than his father used to. And well at least his mother doesn't drink herself into oblivion anymore.

Logan busies himself behind the counter, getting out drinks and snacks for them and Veronica plops on the counter near him.

He lets out a breath, handing her a soda and says, "Hey, I'm really sorry about what my mom said to you."

Veronica shakes her head. "It's fine. It's nice to know that not everybody has 'drunk mother abandons family' in the back of their mind when they talk to me," she jokes, swaying slightly on his counter.

He nods his head, he gets it, there's always been some headline attached to his name and he basks in moments when he's just Logan - those moments seem so few and far but when he's with Veronica, he feels like he's just him.

"Do you miss her?"

"I miss the person she used to be," Veronica offers softly. "She wasn't always drunk," she says, reminding him and herself. "She used to come to my soccer games, we'd bake cookies and prepare dinner together. Stuff that mothers are supposed to do, you know?"

He nods his head, he has vague memories of her when he'd first moved here; Lianne Mars was nice to him and it was the first time he didn't mind the company of someone else’s mother.

"But those were in between the bad moments," she swallows. Her eyes falling from Logan to her can of soda. "Sometimes she'd miss picking me up from school because she was passed out drunk. Or she'd burn the waffles because she was too dazed out."

She lets out a breath, trying to control her emotions as she shares this part of her with Logan. It's always been hard to talk about it but right now it feels like a bit easier with Logan.

"The months before she left, it got really bad," she meets Logan's eyes and he's attentively listening to her, offering her looks of understanding and silently waiting for her to continue. "Dad got calls to pick her up in the middle of the afternoon or at night," she sighs loudly and shrugs; it's a distant memory but it feels raw and as present as ever. "He tried for years to hide that side from us and then it got to the point where he couldn't anymore."

She bites her lips, she can feel tears caused by long ago memories start to brim in her eyes so she shakes her head and shrugs. Swallowing down her soda, hydrating herself as much as she can. She doesn't want to cry over this woman that's left them anymore. "There's moments I forget who she's turned into and I miss the times when we were happy with her."

"And then I remember that she left us," she comes off the counter, can in hand, searching for the bin and Logan lets her distract herself from her rising emotions. She spots it easily enough and throws it in.

She lets out a breath, looking at Logan and her voice feels hoarse that she wonders if she's at her limit talking about this but she still has these feelings that for some reason wants to let itself out now, to him. "Normal people get divorced when they're unhappy in their marriage but she didn't just leave my dad, she left all of us."

"Even though I was so angry, even though I know how bad things could get with her there, I wanted her back," she admits, it's one of her more vulnerable thoughts that not many people are privy off. "I would have welcomed her back if she came back to us."

She doesn't know how Logan's wiggled himself into being a person that she's comfortable enough to share this with - maybe it's because he's the only person that she's not lying to or maybe because he's been a friend that's allowed her to be vulnerable or maybe because he understands what she's talking about even if their emotions are derived from different situations.

"But she didn't, Logan, she left us, moved to Arizona and has this white picket fence life with a new family," she tells him and he's shook - she can see him registering the new information and she remembers how distraught she was when she'd learnt this.

"A family that she's there for, a family that she's sober for while we're left to think why weren't we enough?" Her voice cracks, she hates to admit that the thought still does creep up at times when she's particularly nostalgic.

"I found out last year," she confesses, a bitter smile gracing her lips. "Perks of spending afternoons at the Sheriff's departments and fiddling around with systems I'm not exactly authorized to," she lets out a humourless chuckle.

"I never told my dad or my sisters." She wouldn't be surprised if her dad knew - if he wanted to know, he'd know. "Just Wallace," she says in a quiet voice and meets his eyes once again. "And now you."

She gives him a half-smile when she says that, _a silent thank you for listening_. And he returns it, _a silent thank you for trusting me_.

"My mom drinks," he confesses, walking towards her - she's on the couch, pillow in her lap and looks at him in surprise.

"She doesn't drink as much as she used to - and as far as I can tell there's no more pill popping. But when Aaron was alive, things weren't good at all," he settles beside her sideways, his one leg folded with his arm on the back rest of the couch and his head is resting on his palm.

"He was the worst husband. Even worse father. He liked to portray the perfect family life on screen but we were far from it."

He's not used to this sharing thing. He's not ready to talk about everything that his father has done - he's not sure if he'll ever be - but he thinks if he ever is, Veronica might be the person he'd be able to confide to about it.

"I miss those good moments in between all the bad too," he offers.

He remembers a time - it feels like from another life - but there'd been a time when Aaron had been a father, when he was a kid, years leading up to his tenth birthday.

And then suddenly his father turned into this angry vengeful monster that took his anger out on his son, using anything he could get his hands on - including his hands - to teach Logan a lesson.

She gives him a small half smile, tilts her head and she once again thinks that he has the most beautiful brown soulful eyes she's ever seen.

"Hey, you wanna play Mario Kart before I take you home?"

"Sure, if you're ready to lose," she grins and he laughs.

He relaxes next to her, the game is on and she's being her usual snarky self and he reciprocates in kind. Being with Veronica feels so natural and it feels so _good_ like a relationship should feel. He hopes that she feels it too.


	18. Chapter 18

_Dear Veronica,_

_I found this picture of us from Dick's 12 th birthday party. It's strange to think how scrawny I was back then and how you're still so beautiful even under fluorescent lighting. How is that fair?_

_\- L_

_P.S You smell more like Marshmallows and Promises now than Vanilla and Honey like you did back then._

Her chuckles from the beginning of the note fade as warmth floods through her when she reaches the end. She bites her lip, staring intently at his words and then she smiles, despite herself.

She looks at the attached picture and it brings back memories of carefree kids having fun. And her first kiss. And sleepless nights wondering why he'd kissed her and why she felt butterflies every time she saw him since he kissed her. And how she couldn’t look him in the eye for a good week without furiously blushing

Above all else, it's the night - she'd later concluded and expressed in her letter - that Logan had ignited a fire in her heart that she tried to dim with all her might but it's still _there_.

It's still there even after she'd written her letter of closure and as much as she wants to deny it, Logan Echolls is still very much in her heart and it's scary because this is all supposed to be fake.

And with Logan it's so easy to get lost in the transition between fake and real. Especially when he writes her sweet notes that fans the fires of her heart.

* * *

She tries to act casual for the rest of the day but those butterflies are back - have _been_ back - it's like they'd taken a long nap and awakened with the sole purpose to make her feel like a complete lovestruck mess.

It doesn't help that she has so many classes with Logan today and he's being _touchy_. Not that he's not usually touchy but recently he's been _particularly_ touchy.

Holding hands from class to class, touching her shoulder and arms and _neck_ (when is it ever necessary to touch someone’s neck? And why does that open space connecting her head to her shoulder feel so sensitive and makes her shiver when Logan’s fingers graze her there?).

He’s been playing with her fingers and her hair, tracing patterns on whatever part of her body he comes in contact with and batting his lashes at her or looking at her all smouldering eyes and smirky lips and natural born charisma - which all sucks majorly for her considering the fact that he's her fake boyfriend. _Fake_ being the operative word.

* * *

"Are you sure?" Veronica asks. She'd forgotten to tell her dad this morning that she had soccer practice and that he needed to pick up Heather from school but before she could make the call, Logan volunteered to do the job.

"Yes, Veronica, I'm sure I can pick up Heather like I've _been_ picking her up," he assures her, holding her shoulders with both his hands - for the dramatics of it she's sure but also another example of just how touchy he has been lately.

"I know," she sighs. She doesn't know how to explain that it's different without her being there because he doesn't seem to notice that all on his own. "Okay, so you'll take her to the station and leave her with my dad?"

He nods. "Yes, yes, I'm acquainted with both your dad and the Sheriff's department," he humours her incessant worrying.

She lets out breath, looks into his eyes and says, "Thank you, Logan. Really."

He winks. "Just doing my boyfriend-ly duty."

She forces a laugh because she knows he's trying to be humorous but the words cause the butterflies to nudge her from within anyway.

"Hey, can I come pick you up from soccer practice? I was in the mood for ice cream and I know how much you love ice cream."

"Who doesn't?" She retorts, hopefully concealing just how surprised she is by his offer.

She should say no, she's getting in too deep already. But he's looking at her with eyes she can't refuse and she _does_ owe him one for picking up Heather. Not that him coming all the way back to pick her up and taking her out for ice cream counts as payback from her side.

"Is that a yes?" He perks up, smiles and bright eyes and something in her melts.

"Yes," she smiles because despite all her logical thoughts, he's made a mark on her heart when she was twelve and he's been deepening it ever since they reconnected. She smiles because he wants her to say yes and she _really_ wants to say yes too.

  
  



	19. Chapter 19

"Are you picking up strays, little brother?" Trina says, arching a brow as she leans forward on the kitchen counter.

"I'll leave the stray picking to you, Trine," he rolls his eyes. Leaving his backpack on the couch, he walks with the little blonde girl to the kitchen. "This is Heather. Veronica's little sister. Heather, this is Trina, make of her what you will."

Heather gives Logan a quizzical look and her just gives an exasperated sigh.

"Ah, mini Mars," she eyes the little girl.

"The name's Heather, since you didn't catch it the first time," she remarks, sharp with a tight smile, much like her sister (Veronica, Meg is almost never less than polite).

"Ooh kitten's got claws," the redhead whistles. "Want a pop tart?" She offers, grinning.

"Ah, a tart from a tart," he dryly remarks. "Careful kiddo, accepting treats from the old lady cost Snow White her consciousness," he cautions, Heathers not entirely sure if he's kidding or not.

"Whatever, loser," Trina rolls her eyes. "I'm going shopping. And Mrs Navarro has the day off. So have fun fending for yourself," she snarkily says before grabbing her keys and heading out.

* * *

"Lasagne!" Heather enthusiastically replies, after Logan asks her what she'd like to eat.

He chuckles, her enthusiasm for food reminding him of her Italian food loving sister.

"Alright, Luigi's okay? Which lasagne do you want?"

"Can't we make it?" She asks, sullen at the suggestion of take out.

"Why would you wanna make it when we could just eat it? In no less than presumably thirty minutes," he counters, arched brow and phone in hand ready to make the call.

Heather pouts. "Food tastes better when it's home-made."

"Believe me kid, Luigi's will taste better than anything I could make," he assures her, chuckling and she dejectedly accepts. He sighs and says, "I don't even know how to make lasagne and you heard Trina, we're fending for ourselves."

"I know how to make it!" Heather beams, her whole body is up like a teacher's pet that raises their hand all the time to answer a question they've always known the answer to. "Well I know the layers. And most of the recipe," she amends, still bright and glowing with positivity.

Logan lets out a chuckle, he doesn't believe what he's hearing. "I'm not going to let you, an eleven year old, cook where there's sharp objects and hot stoves."

"I'm in the kitchen all the time with Veronica and Meg," she points out. "Besides you can do all the slicing and dicing," she bargains, her voice pleading for him to agree.

He sighs, he's not at all confident that this is going to end well considering he's never actually made anything that required any effort. "Okay, fine, but if it turns out horribly, don't blame me."

She looks at him bright eyes and wide smile, bouncing up and down. "Yay! Can I call Meg so she can help with the recipe?"

"I thought you knew the recipe?" He arches a brow.

"I do!" She emphasizes. "I just need reminders of certain things."

He rolls his eyes, nevertheless he passes her the phone. She quickly grabs a pen and page from her bag before she calls her sister.

"Hello?"

"Hey Meg!" Heather chirps.

"Heather?" Meg questions, soft and confused. "Whose phone are you calling from?"

"Logan's," Heather dismisses. "Can you tell me how to make lasagne?" She says, pen and page in hand, ready to note down whatever her sister says.

"Where's Veronica?" Meg asks instead of answering the question which causes Heather to frown.

"At soccer practice," she says before continuing, "I remember all the layers but how do you make the mash so creamy? And how do we make the white sauce? Like I know it's milk and flour and butter and cheese and salt but how much exactly? And -"

"Whoa, Heather," Meg stops her. "Why do you wanna know how to make Lasagne? And why are you using Logan's phone?"

"Because I wanna eat Lasagne? And I'm at Logan's," she enunciates, feeling annoyed at her sister for not answering her questions.

"If Veronica's at soccer practice, why are you at Logan's?" Meg asks.

"Because," Heather blows out, feeling exasperated. "Dad's out on official sheriff business and I didn't want to stay at the station with Deputy McDouchey Lambutt."

"Heather," Meg chides. "Don't call people names."

"But Lamb really is so lame and he's mean to people so he deserves it."

"Heather," Meg sighs. "Does dad know you're with Logan?"

"Yes, God, Meg, you're making me wish I just used Google instead of calling you. You're lucky I like your mashed potatoes best otherwise I'd have hung up on you by now."

"Thank God for mashed potatoes," Meg snides and relaxes knowing that Heather hadn't wondered off on her own. "And I'm not sorry for caring about your well being."

"Logan's cool," Heather defends.

"Yeah, I know," she says, recalling just how _cool_ he was in high school. "But cool doesn't equal responsible, Heather."

"Dad said it was okay," Heather frowns.

"I know that now," Meg lets out, trying to make her sister understand that she isn't against Logan (after all the fawning Heather has done, Meg knows just how much Heather has come to adore him) but rather she's worried because Logan's fun can often be the opposite of responsible. "You could have told me that in the beginning."

"Fiiiinneee," Heather drags off. "Can we get to the part where you give me the recipe?"

"First, can you give the phone to Logan, please?"

Heather sighs, knowing there's no point in arguing with her big sister. "She wants to talk to you."

He looks surprised at that, he knows Meg, she was popular, a cheerleader, overall essence of purity and he wouldn't admit it but he's kinda nervous talking to her under the title of Veronica's boyfriend because he knows that Meg is more than her big sister. He knows just how much Meg means to Veronica or else he wouldn't have had the title of fake boyfriend to begin with.

He nods, taking the phone and a deep breath before answering, "Hey Meg."

"Hey, Logan," she says polite as ever. "So forgive me if I'm wrong but since when do you hang out with eleven year olds and practise the art of lasagne making?"

"Since today?" He's not sure if she's teasing or not but he swallows and tries to explain, "Uhm well Mrs Navarro is off and Heather insisted on having home made lasagne. I mean I could always order from Luigi's but she wasn't as enthusiastic as your other sister would usually be."

"Veronica does love their lasagne," Meg chuckles trying to ease Logan's nerves. She's never heard the school's most popular boy sound nervous before. It's refreshing and assuring. "And Heather always did prefer home made food. But maybe that would be a better idea than attempting this? I mean lasagne's quite a meal and I have a feeling cooking isn't in your skill list."

He lets out a breath. He feels like he's dealing with a parent instead of a sister and he understands why Meg's concerned but he doesn't want to disappoint Heather. She looked so excited about making Lasagne with him so he tries his best to assure Meg, "I understand your concern but Heather wants home made lasagne and I'd actually like to try it out. I promise I'll use all the sharp cutlery and keep Heather from getting burnt."

Meg sighs, accepting Logan's will. "Okay, Logan. I'm sorry if I sounded a bit rude but I guess I'm more concerned since I'm so far now."

"It's okay. Totally, understandable."

"And thanks Logan. For taking care of Heather and also Veronica. She's always been closed off from boys but from what I hear and see, you seem to care for her. Just don't hurt her okay? I know you always seem to have this thing with Lilly where you guys are on and off and I don't want Veronica to be in the middle of that and be left heartbroken."

"I know, Meg, you don't have to worry about that. All I care about is Veronica," he softly says, sincere and honest. "And now making sure we have an edible dinner tonight," he lightly jokes - except it's not really a joke and hopes this doesn't blow up in his face (literally).

"I'm glad to here that," Meg smiles through the phone, happy to get assurance from the boy in question about his feelings. It's hard for her to not be there to help her sister through her first boyfriend, first date and however many firsts she decides to take with Logan. But it's easier knowing that Logan's feelings are genuine. "You can give the phone to Heather now, I'll give her the recipe," she assures him. "Bye, Logan," she lets him go, with a soft departure.

He thinks that conversation had gone well. He knows it. He's always liked Meg. "Bye, Meg."

* * *

Logan has to admit, cooking isn't the worst thing in the world. It's actually rather fun (minus the times he's stressing that Heather is getting too close to the stove). He finds that it's easy to follow Meg's explicit instructions (she gave them very intricate details that he's sure she added for his benefit and he's grateful _-_ she should write a _how to cook guide for dummies,_ he's sure it'd sell out _)._

And well it helps him that he knows how to make Veronica's favourite food because he's pretty sure that her stomach is definitely a way to her heart. And he's kinda giddy about her reaction to eating something that he's made. Especially something that she's so fond off - he really hopes he doesn't ruin it.

"Logan, honey, are you cooking?" Lynn asks, bewildered at the scene before her. "And who is this adorable young lady?"

"Mom, this is Heather," he introduces, mixing meat sauce with ground beef on the stove while Heather grates the cheese on the counter. "Veronica's little sister. We're making Lasagne."

"Hello, Heather, how did you get my son to cook something? I can't even get him to clean his room?" Lynn teases, she's down right stunned at the fact that she's seeing her son at the stove, working very dedicatedly and it makes her heart fill with pride.

Heather beams and quips, "It's the perks of him being smitten with my sister, Mrs Echolls."

Logan's eyes widen at her response and he chokes out a cough trying to hide his embarrassment while Lynn laughs wholeheartedly, happy that her son is happy. "That he is, I see. And you can call me Lynn, darling."

"It's _grate_ to _meat_ you," she smiles, chuckling to herself for her clever puns - Lynn doesn't seem to notice but Logan does and he chuckles along, letting her know that he got her joke.

"You too, dear. Can I help? I am pretty smitten with Veronica myself."

Heather giggles, completely taken with the woman before her. And Logan can't believe that his mother offered to help cook. He's still having a hard time believing that he's cooking somewhat successfully considering nothing has gotten burnt (yet anyway).

"Sure, mom," he says, trying to surpass his shock. "You can get started on the white sauce. There's instructions here," he says, pointing to the page stuck on the fridge door (it was the easiest place for them to see and not get it all messy like the rest of the kitchen).

* * *

They've got twenty five minutes before they get to eat the product of their struggles so Logan proposes, "Wanna play Mario Kart while we wait for the lasagne to bake?"

Heather grins, readily agreeing to being distracted from her hunger and the wait to satisfy said hunger.

"Honey, do you know where Mrs Navarro leaves these spices?" Lynn asks, curiously holding onto the bottles of basil, oregano, salt and pepper.

"Hmmm," he tries to think while playing the game. "Top shelf above the stove, mom."

He hears her say, "Ah, thanks, sweety," from a distance just as Heather says, "Ooh! That was awesome. Did you see that?"

"Hmm," Logan chuckles lightly. "Yeah, if you're Daisy or Peach, you can use a heart to protect you," he advises.

"If I had this game, I would play it every second," she says dreamily, already getting addicted to the game.

"You can have this one," he offers.

Her eyes bulge out and she gasps, "Really??"

"Yeah," he smiles, nodding. "I have another one set up in the pool house and this way we can have online tournaments."

"Oh my God, thank you, Logan," she says, jumping up from her seat and hugging him, happiness radiating from her. Logan's taken by surprise by the hug, it knocks him off to the side and he laughs. "Oh! We should have a right now tournament now."

"Yeah, I'm beating you as Peach. You need practice," he teases.

"Your life is so cool," Heather sighs dreamily.

Logan smiles softly and says, "I think it's better now that I'm with Veronica. You and your family, now that's what's cool."

Heather giggles, accepting the compliment with great pride. "We are pretty cool."


	20. Chapter 20

It's 6pm when soccer practise ends and she's exhausted, she wants a hot shower, comfy PJ’s and her bed.

And then she sees him, settling onto the bleachers, looking at her from afar and she feels those butterflies teasing her - she amends that what she really wants is to go up to Logan, snuggle against him and let her body relax into a blissful state of unawareness.

She walks toward him, tries not to think about how sweaty she feels and smiles, "Hey."

He has a soft smile on his face, head tilted up and it feels different - nice - being taller than him for once while he sits before her. She wonders what it'd be like to kiss him without having to lift herself up.

"Hey," he responds softly, taking her in, all ruffled hair and dirty socks. "You know what's strange?"

"What?" She asks, tilting her head and staring into his eyes as he looks up at her.

"That you look really hot in your soccer uniform," he says, serious but his laughter gets the best of him with the way her mouth opens in a gasp and the way her eyes widen radically.

"Shut up," she laughs, smacking his shoulder.

"No, it's true," he shakes his head, trying to emphasize the truth to his words. "Ever since I met you you always looked hot in a uniform."

She laughs, scoffing in disbelief that they're having this conversation. "I was twelve when you first met me."

He grins, nodding as he stands, "C'mon, Veronica, you were totally working it even back then. Just look at those knee socks and those are some really short shorts, might I add," he looks her up and down as they start walking towards the parking lot, giving her a pointed look with the grin still playing on his lips.

"These are normal shorts, oh my god," she laughs, feeling way too embarrassment and self-conscious than she thought possible.

"I'm telling you, it's no wonder twelve year old me had a crush on you," he says it casually, nostalgically even, trying to gauge her reaction and play down just how much he likes her now.

"What?" She gasps, momentarily stopping. "You liked me back then?"

"I kissed you, didn't I?" He says, soft smile, and a desperate need to hold her but she's walking again, away from him.

"You never said anything about liking me," she lets out, confused, conflicted and dazed by the sudden confession.

"How could I have said anything when you didn't talk to me for a week after that?" He asks. She's walking faster like she wants to run away from this conversation but he's keeping up her pace and continues, "I didn't know then that it was because you liked me too."

"Oh my god," she lets out, and tries to open the outrageously yellow door to his X-Terra only to find it locked, she turns to him and says, "It's not like it matters. That was then."

He sighs, nodding. "Right."

He unlocks the car and opens up the door for her, but before she can get in, he catches onto her hand and confesses, "You know, Veronica, ever since I got your letter, a part of me wishes we'd said something back then. That I said something back then."

He feels her tense but he keeps on speaking, hoping that she'll at least see some of his feelings. "But another part of me knows that everything would be different now." He lets go off her and she's still in her position, looking at him, intently. "And I don't know if that would have been a good thing or a bad thing, but right now, I'm happy I'm here with you."

All it takes is a smile from her to let all off his nerves go. He doesn't really know what the hell he's doing or saying really because it's frustrating to not say all of what he's thinking but right now he's living for the smile she has on her face.

She takes a step forward and quips, "Here in Neptune High's parking lot?"

"Naturally," he chuckles and brushes a few strands of hair to the back of her ear. "And to know that we can hang out and talk to each other about the real stuff, it means a lot." He wants to say it means everything but he holds himself back and hopes that it's enough.

She lets out a breath, her blue eyes staring into his and she whispers, "It means a lot to me too." She wraps her arms around his waist, her cheek against his beating heart, hugging him close to her and he easily reciprocates - holding her tightly, resting his head on hers - she feels like she's being embraced by a sea of warmth and she kinda wants to stay in his arms forever.

* * *

"I thought you wanted to get ice cream?" Veronica asks once she realizes that they were drawing closer to his house.

"How can we have dessert before dinner, Veronica? Is there no such thing as law and order in your dietary plan?" He tsks, shaking her head and she gives him an unimpressed look.

"Logan, I can't have dinner in my soccer uniform," she looks at him like he's being ridiculous and he shrugs off her concerns.

"We do have a shower you know," he points out because it is quite an obvious observation but she's still looking at him like that makes no difference. "Multiple showers. A tub too. Take your pick, Mars."

"Urg," she groans, knowing that he's not going to turn back. She doesn't want to have a full meal in her soccer uniform, she feels borderline gross and it's rather unflattering to meet the two most glamourous women she knows (Logan's mother and sister) in her dirty sweaty soccer uniform. "You better be getting me two scoops ice cream, Echolls."

* * *

 

Veronica takes a bit longer in the shower than she plans and she blames it on the three shower heads that are in Logan's bathroom because it's literally a shower meant to bathe gods. It feels heavenly and eases her muscles in ways her simple shower at home could never hope to do. She wishes showers were a thing that she could have added into their contract.

It's only after she's changed into her regular clothes - a spare she's always carried with her soccer uniform - that she realizes she smells like Logan (she's used his soap and shampoo, the only thing she's missing is the signature salty smell of the ocean).

She feels a bit nervous. It's not like she's completely oblivious to the fact that she's alone with Logan in his house (Trina's out parting like it's '99 and Lynn's out with her friends) and that she has less than platonic fake girlfriend feelings for him.

She wishes she'd gotten more flattering jeans than her normal comfy ones. Or that she'd packed a prettier top instead of her casually stripped blue and white one. Or that she had a blow dryer and something other than lip gloss and cream for her face.

* * *

Her hair falls down her shoulder in damp waves of blonde and Logan comes to the simple conclusion that Veronica Mars is the most beautiful girl alive. Or it could be the obvious fact that he is indeed absolutely smitten with her.

She's dawned with her casual stripped shirts and worn in jeans and there's something about the comfort of it all that feels so refreshing to him. She doesn't even have to try and he can't keep his eyes off her.

* * *

He's done the thing where he's actually set up plates for them in the dinning room. He's never actually done that before. And he's feeling a bit fidgety in all the preparations - mostly because he has no idea what he's doing and he feels kinda nervous about Veronica's opinion about his cooking skills.

She probably thinks of it along the same lines as Meg does; that he's useless in the kitchen. But Heather and his mom had raved that it was a scrumptious success. He'd wondered if their opinions were biased because they helped make it. But he'd tried a bite (waiting for Veronica to have the actual meal) and it was pretty good. So he hopes that he gets Veronica's seal of approval.

He sees her brighten at the revealed meal and smiles. She hasn't even tasted it yet and she's practically giddy about it. "Mmmm," she smells the air. "Lasagne, my favourite," she hums. "You know if you'd told me we were having this for dinner I would definitely not have said a word about the ice cream."

"Lasagne trumps ice cream, got it," he checks, grinning ear to ear.

She chuckles, cutting through her meal with a fork. "Well it's more like I equally appreciate all the finer things life has to offer."

He's digging into his own meal but peaks to see her take her first bite. "So good," she lets out and he's a grinning fool for her.

"Really?" He asks, his full attention on her as he chews on his own food.

"Yeah, it doesn't taste like Mrs Navarro's lasagne though. Did she try a new recipe?"

"You think Mrs Navarro made it?" He gasps, surprised because he definitely doesn't think he deserves such a high compliment. "Is it that good?"

"It's different," she says, picking up chunks with her fork and devouring it. "But it is good. Who else could have made it?"

"Well, I kinda did," he admits, bashfully.

Her eyes wide and her mouth is open, partly because she was about to take another bite and that really surprised her. "Are you seriously telling me you made this?" Veronica asks, bewildered. "This is delicious, Logan. I didn't know you could cook."

He grins, pleased and relieved at her compliments. "I'm glad you like it. It was actually my first time and I had help."

She looks at him, amazed and praises, "You're a natural born chef, Echolls." She smiles and then confesses, "My first attempt ended up with extra crispy edges, lumpy mash, the sauce had dumplings in them and the cheese was less cheesy and more over-baked."

He chuckles and quips, "Didn't you have Meg's idiots guide to making lasagne to help you?"

She looks a bit lost in memory, he's not quite sure if she heard him but she's shaking her head and continuing with her thought process, "I was thirteen. It was around the time mom left. Heather was bummed out about something and I thought hey let me cheer you up with our favourite food because that always works. And well it was a disaster," she laughs and it's strange for her to relive those little moments.

"That was brave of you to try at thirteen," he praises. "I was scared to even attempt it now at seventeen. But thanks to Meg it was a success."

"Wait, you spoke to Meg?" She asks, brows shooting up as she registers that his previous comment was also about Meg.

"Yeah," he bobs his head, taking a fork full of food. "Heather wanted home made lasagne and I didn't have it in my heart to disappoint her. Meg gave us the recipe. Both Heather and my mom helped make it."

She tilts her head in confusion and repeats in question, "Heather was with you?"

"Didn't your dad tell you?"

"I haven't spoken to my dad," she says, shaking her head, feeling bewildered. "It's been a really busy practice, with the game tomorrow."

"Oh," he lets out. "Basically he was out on work, Heather didn't want to stay at the station and I had nothing better to do so we hung out," he reiterates. "After your dad okay-ed it, of course," he adds in knowing that Meg had needed that clarification so he could only assume Veronica would too. "About ten minutes before I left to get you, your dad came to pick her up."

She nods her head and offers a smile. "Wow, Logan, you took care of Heather and made lasagne. I'm impressed."

A smile breaks through his face, he's proud of himself and it's been awhile since he's felt this way. Besides surfing, he doesn't feel like he's achieved anything praise worthy. "Thank you, m'lady, I do aim to please."

She chuckles and he continues, "But y'know it's easy that Heather adores me, after we made the lasagne, we just played video games until your dad showed up."

"Ooh you introduced her to the world of Mario Kart, didn't you? She's never gonna shut up about it now. I bet she's already pestering dad for a game cube now."

"Uh, I kind of gave her mine," he says, suddenly feeling much more nervous than when he spoke to Meg.

"You what?" She arches her brow, unsure if she heard him correctly.

"I have like three," he defends. "Well, there's one in the pool house and there's another in my room."

She stares at him, trying to think of what to say. She doesn't know why he would do that, the only thing she could think of is that it made Heather happy. And that touches her so deeply that she doesn't really know how to express it.

He looks at her, nervous, eyes on his food as he stuffs his mouth just so he doesn't focus on her stare. She senses him tense and nervous and it's weird because Logan oozes confidence but right now, it's like he's preparing to be scolded.

"Okay, Richie Rich," she chuckles, trying to dispense of the tension. "Thank you, Logan," she says, a small smile on her lips. She's thanking him for more than giving her sister a game cube, she's thanking him for caring so much. "You really like Heather, huh?"

"She's like the sister I never had," he chuckles, thanking the gods that she wasn't upset at him.

She snorts a laugh and remarks, "You have a sister."

"Yeah but Trina's always been Trina," he shrugs. "Not the adoring, 'let's make lasagne and go to the zoo' kinda sister," he says and as he says it, it's strange because these are things he's never admitted that he's wanted. "She's more the 'don't puke in my car or I'll throw you ass out of it' kinda sister," he swallows, memories of her doing just that drag out from his past and he doesn't feel like reminiscing about that much right now. "I know she cares, deep, deep down. But it'd be nice to not have to dig that deep, y'know?"

Veronica nods her head in understanding. "She loves you in her own way," she tries to assure him. "All siblings have their own dynamic. Meg and I weren't even really that close until after mom left."

"Tragedy, the driving force to the bonding experience," he chuckles, humourless but he feels it necessary to dispense with the tension he feels stir inside him. "Not even that worked with Trina. All we have is our snarky insults. It's just second nature to us now."

She reaches out to him and squeezes his hand, offering him a supportive smile. "Trina is a tough nut to crack but if anyone can crack her, it's you."

He lets out a breath, half curved smile and asks, "You think?"

"She wouldn't insult you if she didn't care, Logan," she points out. "It's the fact that she's your sister that she's allowed that privilege. If anyone else does it then she probably wouldn't take it so lightly," she reasonable deducts. "Would you?"

He shakes his head, as much as he fought with Trina, he wouldn't let anyone hurt her. "No, I wouldn't."

"There you have it," she says, smiling and proud to have gotten her point across.

He finds himself chuckling again, amazed by the girl before him. "There's no one like you, Veronica Mars."

She lets out a small laugh, her eyes sparkling bright as she looks at him with a lingering smile and she wonders if he had any idea about the effect he has on her? Any idea of her beating heart that's echoing his name? Any idea that she's consumed once again by thoughts of him? Any idea that her heart is over flowing with emotions for him that she's not sure she's ever felt before? Does he realize that she has trouble expressing herself because of _how much_ he makes her feel? Does he have any idea that she's falling in love with him?


	21. Chapter 21

It's about 7:30pm when they finally get to Amy's for ice cream. Logan's not sure if it's Veronica's never changing wholesome love for ice cream or the fact that the wooden tables outside are still stacked the same way for the past five years but he's feeling particularly nostalgic and remembers their twelve year old selves bickering about where to get the best ice cream in town.

Veronica had insisted that Amy's had the best ice cream in town while he'd thought for sure it was Zap's. He remembers that she'd given him a look like _oh you poor soul_ and dragged him off to get the _real best ice cream in town_. He'd never been so happy to be proven wrong before because Amy's ice cream really was beyond compare.

After giving in their ice cream orders, Veronica reaches out to pay the cashier only to be stopped by Logan, "It's on me, after all I did drag you out here."

He takes his eyes off her for two seconds to get his wallet from his pocket and she uses the opportunity to ignore his words and hand over the money to the cashier. She turns innocently to the boy next to her and tilts her head, "Were you saying something, Logan?"

"Veronica," he groans at her ignoring him.

She chuckles, her hand coming to rest on Logan's shoulder and she has a soft lingering smile on her lips as she says, "You've accomplished a lot today, Echolls. You deserve to be treated and that lasagne deserves to be rewarded."

"Well, when you put it like that," he chuckles, a dopey grin on his face and a slight feeling of bashfulness resides within him.

Their ice cream comes moments later and the two of them settle opposite each other on one of the wooden tables outside.

Veronica grins, happy with her cookies and cream with salted caramel sauce ice cream. "Mmm," she hums, scooping up a spoonful of ice cream and plopping the spoon in her mouth. "So good."

He lazily grins at her, relaxing onto his seat as he enjoys the chilly feel of the wind and his cone filled with chocolate chip fudge brownie ice cream.

There's something euphoric about eating ice cream at night with the sound of crashing behind them.

"I'm glad I got to come back here with you," she softly says and he would have missed it if he wasn't so attuned to her every move.

His grin widens, he doesn't understand how her simple sentence causes his whole being to brighten with happiness but it does.

"Me too," he lets out and hopes Veronica can see just how much he means it.

* * *

"Come on, Wallace," Veronica hears the giggling voice of her best friend's girlfriend, followed by said best friend laughing along.

She tugs on Logan's shirt and turns around, peaking through the corner, she sees the couple dressed to the nines.

"Wallace," the petite blonde calls after him and they turn around, bright and chirpy and Veronica can't help but smile at the adorable couple.

"Hey, Vee," Wallace grins in greeting. "'Sup, Logan."

"Look who's all dressed up for Thursday night," Veronica wiggles her brows and Logan looks on at the couple with amusement.

"We're going dancing," Georgia giggles, her hand wrapped around Wallace's.

Wallace laughs, shaking his head, and repeats the radical concept, "Dancing, Vee."

"Why don't you guys come with us?" Georgia invites, beaming at the idea.

"Oh no, we're way under dressed," comes Veronica's immediate refusal.

"Come on, Veronica, it'll be fun," Georgia tries to coax the blonde, swaying her shoulders side to side trying to emphasize said ' _fun_.'

Veronica gives her an uneasy chuckle, she's unsure of how to turn the girl down so she turns to look at Logan for support and hopes he can provide a valid excuse.

Unfortunately for Veronica, he's of no help. He shrugs his shoulder, not at all minding the chosen activity for the night. "We gotta burn off the ice cream somehow, Sugarpuss."

She gives him a glare, fully conveying the silent message that is _I'm gonna get you back for this_ and he grins, fully prepared for whatever she has in store for him if it means he gets to dance the night away with her.

* * *

Veronica looks at the crowd and instantly feels out of place, the ladies are all wearing dresses and she’s clad in a t-shirt and jeans. People are partnered up and she desperately wants to leave but Logan’s holding out his hand to her and she finds herself unable to refuse when he's wearing that excited little chipper look on his face.

She takes a breath, accepts his hand and allows him to draw her in close. She doesn’t want to think about how warm his hands feel despite him just having ice cream or the fact that his brown eyes energize every little tired cell in her body or the fact that her heart is racing now that she’s pressed up against him swaying to _Dean Martin_ with his hand wrapping around her waist and the other holding her hand in the classical ballroom dance pose.

“You good?” Logan checks, leading her in their dance and she follows easily enough.

She breaks out a small smile for him and nods. “I wish I were wearing a dress,” she chuckles. “It sounds so strange because I don’t actually prefer dresses at all.”

He inches his face a bit closer to her, resting his forehead on hers and whispers, “You’re perfect just like this.”

She lets out a shaky breath and remarks jokingly, “You’re just saying that because you wanna win brownie points for being a good fake boyfriend.”

His lips curve, playful and curious, “Do all these brownie points award me an actual brownie?”

She arches her brow and decides, “If you earn enough.”

“Can’t wait,” he grins, twirling her around and spinning her back to him. “But you know, you really _are_ the most beautiful girl in this room.”

She smiles, laughing, letting herself melt into Logan and quips, “Things boys will say to get chocolate brownies.”

He shakes his head, wishing she’d see the truth to his words but for now he holds her close and lets his senses get lost in the feel of her in his arms and the smell of marshmallows, promises and strangely enough _him_.

He finds himself falling in love with the idea of Veronica smelling like him. She giggles as he spins her and he can't help but think that it's really just that he's falling more and more in love with the girl that's spinning in a t-shirt and jeans in a room full of dresses.

* * *

They're outside her house when she realizes that she doesn't really want to say goodnight to him just yet.

She bites her lip and offers, "You wanna come inside for some hot chocolate?"

He grins, a full blown out grin and quips, "Ice cream and hot chocolate, Mars, you're spoiling me."

She feels herself blush and she's not entirely sure why because he hasn't said anything particularly romantic and honestly it's embarrassing how easily he can get her to blush without really trying.

She cocks her head to the side and negotiates, "Alright, I'll leave out the tiny marshmallows."

"Don't you dare, you know I'm a sucker for marshmallows."

* * *

Veronica's not surprised when she sees Heather awake and playing video games when she gets in. She's certainly not surprised when Logan soon joins her. She is surprised at how easily they banter with each other and how adoringly Heather looks at him. Veronica smiles at how incredibly dorky and happy they look as she makes them hot chocolate.

It's somewhere between stirring the hot chocolate, adding in the tiny marshmallows and Heather's giggling that she has feels this tug in her heart. It hits her that this is a temporary situation and she really shouldn't have let them get this close because once Logan's gone Heather will be heartbroken, again.

Then she looks at Logan and realizes that he's mirroring her sister's adoring expression. She remembers now that he's made his own promises of having online tournaments with her and her heart swells with love for him.

She hopes that she's not wrong about Logan, she hopes that he still comes around and they can hang out even if she can't love him like she wants.

She realizes that this is the first time since her mother left that she feels hope for someone other than her family and she wonders if Logan realizes just how much he's changed her.

* * *

When it's time for Logan to leave, Veronica walks him to his car and she's not quite sure how to say goodnight to him because today had felt like _more_. She's not sure how to define _more_ but it's all she has to describe their day.

He's saying things about Heather and their game and future plans and she hears the word _carnival_ and she _tries_ to focus on him but she's so absorbed in her feelings that she's not quite sure what he's on about.

"Veronica?" He asks, his face much too close for comfort and she lets out a breath with her eyes firmly on him. "You okay?"

She nods, gives him a small smile, gets on her tiptoes and kisses him on the cheek.

He straightens up, looking in her eyes, surprised. "What was that for?"

She feels her cheeks flame, she's kissed Logan before and she's filed it under make-belief but this one was _real_ because underneath all the bad boy persona he's developed over the years, he's still Logan. He's still Logan and she still loves him.

"For being so nice to Heather," she says, swallowing down any other reason she may have for said kiss.

He grins, leans toward her and gives her a kiss to the cheek.

Her cheeks are scalding, her butterflies are cheering her on and she kinda just wants to pull him in and give him a proper kiss. Instead, she asks the same question he did, "What was that for?"

"For being so nice to me," he lets out more bashful than she's ever saw him before. She wants to say that he's the one that's being nice to her, to her family but he's smiling so brightly that she's stuck staring at him all starry eyed and beating hearts.

"You know maybe a kiss on the cheek doesn't quite cut it," he says, low and deliberate.

Her heart thumps at the possible implications and she feels tingly at how much she actually wants those suggestive words to imply what she thinks it implies.

She swallows down her urges and jokes, "I could accept payment in ice cream."

He laughs lightly; completely taken with her. He leans in, presses a kiss to her forehead and whispers in her ear, "Goodnight, Veronica."

Her breath catches at the way his voice sends shivers through her, she reigns in her urges to stop him and lets out, "Night, Logan."


	22. Chapter 22

_Dear Veronica,_

_I don't mind dancing when I'm dancing with you. We should do it again sometime._

_Good luck on the game today, not that you need it._

_Go get 'em, bobcat._

_\- L_

She grins, a big dopey grin; it felt silly how happy a little piece of paper could make her. But it does, it makes her really happy.

She's so distracted by the note that she's taken completely by surprise when someone bumps into her in the middle of the quad and knocks off her books from her hand. She shoots the guy a look of annoyance but he's already blended into the crowd.

Sighing, she bends down to pick it up and then another pair of hands are helping her. She looks up and sees him; Duncan Kane.

She swallows hard, she hates that her nerves are acting up around him again.

"Hey," he offers her a smile, handing her back her textbooks. "Can we talk?"

She stands back up, straightens her posture, meets his blue eyes and nods. "Walk me to my locker?" She asks and he immediately agrees.

There's so much between them but he's foregone any commentary on it in favour of talking about his senior year and it's confusing to her that he's bypassed it all and just decided to be casual about everything now that they've already made a mess of things.

She doesn't know what to say, so she nods and agrees and gives her two cents comments because if he's being casual then she can be casual.

"Everything feels so messed up and confusing lately," he says finally once they're at her locker and she takes in a breath. "All I really know is that I miss my friend and I'd like to have her back in my life, if she'll have me?"

He's leaning against the locker beside her and she's busy with transferring the books in her hand to her locker. And she never expected their reconciliation to be like this but she gives him a smiles and nods, "Of course, Duncan."

"Good," he sighs out in relief. "I'm still worried about you and Logan," he says and she has this incessant niggling feeling in her stomach since he started taking that's gotten stronger the moment he's mentioned Logan's name. "You know he still comes over?"

She freezes momentarily, her heart stops at the implied thoughts and she has to force herself to move, to breathe.

She swallows, desperate for air, and slowly continues to fiddle with the contents of her locker. Her shook heart now beating rapidly against her chest and she tries to calm down.

Everything with Logan felt so natural, so good, almost perfect that a part of herself pretended it was more than just friendship and a fake relationship.

She should have said something to Logan, she should have told him to stop being so nice to her, to stop touching her, to stop giving her notes, to stop caring about her and Heather and everything in her life; to stop making it so easy for her to fall in love with him.

How could she think that Logan had only spent time with her? Lilly's the one he wants. Of course, they were still in contact. Lilly's half the point of their fake relationship.

"He was there on Saturday and I'm pretty sure they still talk on the phone with each other," Duncan continues, the disdain clear in his voice.

_Saturday_. She doesn't know how to explain the gut wrenching feeling that's wearing her down. She remembers Lilly's mockery and Lilly's invitation to be friends - because Lilly and Logan were still friends, of course they were. She still hasn't mentioned it to Logan because there was no way she wanted to be on a double date with Lilly. There was no way she thought that he'd wanted to be on that date. Was there?

"Yeah, they're still friends," she answers, tight smile and clenched jaw.

"You're okay with that?" Duncan's clearly surprised and disapproving. She knows he wants what's best for her but she knows what she got herself into and Logan's helped her so she's going to help him - even if it breaks her heart.

"I trust Logan," she says and it tastes strange on her tongue now that she's given this unsettling information about him and Lilly but she needs Duncan to believe she's in a happy and fulfilling relationship even if Logan's actions prove otherwise.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt by Logan," he says gently.

She nods her head, understanding the concern but she doesn't feel appreciation for it. She feels upset, she feels betrayed and she feels heartbroken but she doesn't feel like she has any right to be because Logan hasn't promised her anything and she's known that from the start, so why did she let herself be in this position only to get hurt again when all along this was what she was trying to protect herself from?

Duncan's still waiting for her answer and she wants to say Logan won't hurt her and she knows that's true - Logan's given her everything she's signed up for and more - but in a few weeks or maybe even days she's going to look like a fool for ever saying it.

"I won't be," she assures him.

Duncan nods, his eyes lingering just over her shoulder and then she feels strong arms wrap around her sides, holding her tightly against him.

"Hey, Sugarpuss," he whispers just loud enough for Duncan to hear and drops a kiss onto her temple. He looks at the boy in front of them, smirks and says, "Hey man, how's it going?"

Duncan gives him a nod, "Alright, man. Well, I gotta go, don't wanna be late for bio. Catch you later, Ronica." He waves her off and takes his leave.

"So you and Duncan are talking again?" Logan asks, casual tone but looks at her intently, he's loosened his hold on her enough for her to turn and look at him but his hands are still holding onto her waist.

"Yeah," she bobs her head. "We are." She feels tense, agitated and moves away from his hold on her.

He blinks, surprised. He's been holding her a lot recently, touching her every chance he gets and she's never actively moved away from him before. She's even been initiating some of those touches, hugs and cheek kisses.

So he doesn't understand why she's distancing herself from him all of a sudden. His eyes drift back to where Duncan once once and he thinks that maybe he _does_.

He swallows the anxiousness he feels at her actions and bobs his head like she had seconds ago. "Cool, cool."

He doesn't know why he expected Duncan to never reappear in Veronica's life. Maybe a part of him wished Duncan would sulk in a corner and never show his face again.

"So," she lets out and he's trying to look her in the eye but she keeps avoiding his gaze. "Uhm, I totally forgot about this but you know how Lilly and I are working the band competition project together?"

He nods his head, taking her hand because the bell is about to ring and he's made walking her to class on his list of boyfriendly duties. He feels her tense but he doesn't let go and he finds some relief in the fact that she doesn't either.

"So I forgot about it but last Saturday she invited us out on a double date. With her and her boyfriend."

"Lilly wants to double date?" He frowns. He remembers last Saturday, he'd gone to her house and he'd told her explicitly that they were done romantically. He'd be there for her as her friend but that's it.

There's no denying that he'd loved Lilly but he's always known that she didn't love him the same way. And he didn't believe that he deserved to be loved unconditionally either.

But then Veronica happened. Her letter was filled with childhood memories and unreserved emotions that were just for him so raw and unattached to any expectations. She called him out on things he's never paid attention to and she saw past his facade even then - she saw the real him. (She did back then when they were twelve and she still does now).

Lilly wanted him as who he showed the world and Logan's realized that that wasn't a person he wanted to be.

He knows that Lilly's upset that Veronica's gotten so close to him in such a short time and he'd felt so frustrated because she'd gotten a boyfriend first.

The thing was that before Veronica, he wanted Lilly back even though she had someone else and had only told him after. Then he saw her at the car wash where she looked so damned cheerful and happy - the complete opposite of him. And then all he felt was resignation. He knew in that moment that Lilly and him were over for good.

"Yeah," Veronica says, her voice quite and tensed. "I mean it'd be a chance for you to get her back, right? See what she's been missing."

He feels his body grow still at her words. "Dinner with my ex and her new boyfriend, how does that sound like a good idea?"

It's scary to him that the idea of Veronica actively pushing him to Lilly is worse than the idea of having dinner with Lilly and whoever she'd left him for.

"If you can spend the night pretending you don't care about that then it'll probably drive her crazy."

He wants to tell her that it will definitely drive her crazy but he doesn't care anymore. Only he doesn't know how to say that to her now that he knows Duncan's back in her life the way she wanted without freaking her out and inevitably losing her completely so he takes a breath and lets out, "Okay."

Her body is stiff and she hates that she feels so wrecked over Logan's simple okay but she tries to push it down and repeats, "Okay."


	23. Chapter 23

"Are you sure about this?" Logan asks once again because he is completely certain that this is a terrible idea.

He's taking out her photography equipment from the car, trying to stall as much time as possible before they actually go in. Veronica's beside him, her hands full with her bag and she's already making adjustments to her camera settings and he finds it frustrating that she's looking at him less than before.

He desperately wants for her to call this thing off, take her pictures, leave with him and get Amy's ice cream or go home and watch a movie. He wants to tell her that but he doesn't know how and it frustrates him more than Trina does when she's intentionally being annoying (though when is she not being intentionally annoying?).

He's been feeling uneasy about this since yesterday and Veronica's being frighteningly casual like she's glad he's got a chance with Lilly and he hates that. She's trying to be a good friend, do her part in this contractual relationship but he really doesn't want her to.

It doesn't make him feel any better (actually it pisses him off) that Duncan was at her game yesterday, cheering and being the supportive _friend_ that he is.

Logan's sure that Duncan wants Veronica more than just a friend as he claims. He's sure that if he and Veronica called off this thing between them, Duncan would probably appear with a boom box outside her window declaring undying true love.

He knows that she'll reject Duncan because of Meg but what if Meg (the Saint that she is) gave them her blessing? What if Veronica didn't have any reason to say no? Then what?

The thought is suffocating and it makes him want to punch Duncan Kane in the face.

"Too late to back out now, stud," she quips, giving him a light pat to his lower back and it surprises him more than he lets on.

He doesn't hid how pleased he is at the physical contact and it's kind of embarrassing how a simple pat from Veronica can uplift his mood. He hopes she touches him more. If she plans on making Lilly jealous, she'd probably be touching him a lot, right? Maybe she'll even sit on his lap again.

He grins, amused and raises a brow, "Stud?"

They're walking towards the entrance of his impending doom and she shrugs, "Heather decided to watch Grease last night."

"Ah," he lets out, bobbing his head and following her lead while praying to Gods he doesn't believe in to let the odds be in his favour for once.

* * *

Veronica walks into Java the Hut and it is a crowded mess. She takes a breath and tries to ease her nerves as she cautiously moves through the crowd. She knows what to expect tonight except she doesn't really because because both Logan and Lilly are wildly unpredictable forces when they want to be and who knows what kind of person Lilly's boyfriend is.

She decides that it's best if she works on the before the performance photos and then get the double date from hell started.

Logan's leaning against the wall across the room, making chit chat with the guys and it's incredibly ridiculous that even in the darkest corner of the room he looks like he belongs on the top of a Christmas tree.

It hurt her more than she thought when she suggested this absurd idea to him and he said okay but she doesn't want to focus on that.

She swallows, continues clicking away and she knows she has more photos than she needs but her nerves are kicking in and she doesn't want to sit down and act friendly to Lilly Kane and whoever Lilly's demeaned good enough to be with her.

She doesn't want to think about what's going to happen once Lilly decides that she's had enough and wants Logan back.

* * *

Logan's hand is on her lower back, navigating her through the crowd, making sure she's in front of him and that they don't get separated. She pushes her way through and doesn't think about the fact that she wants to press herself into his fingers and let him dig into her skin.

She wishes his touches didn't feel so good, that she didn't get used to him touching her all the time and that she didn't enjoy his touch so damned much.

"We can still get out of here," he whispers in her ear. "You've got enough pictures."

She closes her eyes at the feel of his warm breath against her ear and she wants to just nod and let him lead them away but she doesn't because she knows that their ending is inevitable and that she shouldn't go on loving him like this only to get hurt in the end.

She knows Lilly Kane and once Lilly realizes that Logan is what she wants, she's just going to take him.

She swallows and says, "I still have to take pictures while they're performing. After pictures too."

"Okay," he lets out, they've found seats and are thankfully no longer being shoved around by people. "The article was a big hit," he comments. "There's a lot of Neptune High students here."

She nods, she's spotted Carmen and a few others from her soccer team. "It was pretty crowded last time too," she tells him, that was probably because there were so many bands trying to qualify but she remembers how difficult it was to navigate through the crowds last week, especially without Logan's warm, firm hands to guide her.

"So, uh, you never did tell me that you and Lilly were so friendly?" He asks, taking her hand in his and lacing their fingers together with one hand and picking at her bands that hang loosely on her wrist with his other hand.

"Did you want me to put in a good word for you?" She teases, tries to tease, and hopes that it's come out naturally but the words feel like poison coming out of her mouth and the bitterness leaves her feeling cold.

She swallows, averting her eyes from his and letting it fall on their intertwined hands. She doesn't notice how his face falls and his slight grimace. She does notice how he slightly tightens his hold on her hand and she wonders if he knows that she doesn't want to let go.

"Well, what good words would you have to say about me, Miss Mars?" He playfully asks, tries to be playful but the thought of her wanting to set him up with someone else feels so wrong. He knows it's his fault. He's the one that stupidly said this was to make Lilly jealous.

She chuckles, awkwardly and dryly. "Logan, I'm not really close to Lilly. It's not like we're braiding each others hair and exchanging friendship bracelets." _Again_. She doesn't think Lilly and her would ever relive that particular history between them.

 _That's not what I meant_ , he wants to say. He wants to pout and tell her that he just wants to know about what she thinks of him. "Wow and then you go accepting date invitations from her," he points out.

"You know I did that for you," she shoots back, she tries to get her hand out of his but he holds her still and leans into her.

"I know," he sighs. He's too close to her and she knows it's probably because of the crowd and the music and the need for her to hear him but she can't help herself from feeling flustered. "I know. I'm sorry. I just feel agitated."

She bites her lip and tries her very best to remain calm. She nods and still can't look at him but she assures him, "I know it's gonna be difficult to see her with someone else, just keep calm, okay? Everything will work out."

He lets out a breath and keeps a tight hold on her hand. Everything has to work out, he won't let it not work out because he's in love with Veronica Mars and he doesn't want to let go of her.


	24. Chapter 24

"Weevil?" Veronica gasps, gawking at the couple before her.

"'Sup, Vee," he grins with a half nod and Lilly on his arm. "Richie Rich," he acknowledges with disapproving eyes.

Logan snorts, snickering as the couple settle down. "Of course, what better way to piss of your mother than dump me for Paco. It all makes perfect sense now."

"God, Logan, jealous much?" Lilly tilts her head, amused smirk playing on her lips and her fingers caressing Weevil's bicep. "Aren't you supposed to be like over me now that you have Veronica to kiss you all better?" She gazes at the couple with a taunting smile.

"Does she even kiss you? Aww, it's sweet, how slow you guys are taking it. Right, lovah?" She giggles into Weevil's shoulder, snuggling up to him in a way that she's long ago foregone doing with Logan.

Weevil shifts, holding her close, happy to rub it in Logan's face that Lilly was now his but at the same time he feels off about it. Like he's making Veronica uncomfortable so he tries to get Lilly to settle down but she doesn't seem to want to comply.

She bats her lashes at Weevil, stroking his face. "Not all couples can click the way we do," she grins, leans up and kisses him on the mouth.

"Yeah," Logan rolls his eyes. "Because being in a secure relationship that's not publicized for the world to see is _not clicking_."

Veronica softly smiles at Logan and gives his fingers a squeeze, her blue eyes look into his and he chuckles, shaking his head and returns her smile.

She thinks to herself that his acting genes are definitely that of Hollywood quality; she's proud that he isn't letting Lilly get to him.

"So Weevs," Veronica causally lets out, attempting to disperse of the tension in the air. "How's Hearst going?"

Eli 'Weevil' Navarro; he was in the same year as Meg and the leader of the PCHers motorcycle gang back in high school.

Veronica and him had crossed paths on multiple occasions but she's pretty sure the only reason he'd warmed up to her was the fact that she managed to get back those tapes of his boys breaking the law at the Sac-n-Pac grocery store.

She'd done it to help Wallace but she has to admit, it has been advantageous to have him on her side and well it was the start of a rather unorthodox friendship. Because really, who would have thought that the Sheriff's daughter would befriend the leader of Neptune's resident motorcycle gang?

"It's good," he grins, relaxing against his seat. "Surprisingly, I've got a knack for business."

Veronica chuckles, "Well, not that surprising you've been working since you were fourteen, learned the ins and outs of your uncle car shop and you do have leadership skills. You're programmed for business, buddy."

Weevil grins, chuckling, it's not often that he feels proud of himself but it's nice when someone acknowledges how far he's come. He appreciates Veronica's opinion of him, he knows that without her help, he'd probably be in jail by now instead of going to college.

Unaware to the reuniting friends, Logan and Lilly were looking at them with looks crossed between surprise, annoyance and anger.

Lilly's hold on Weevil tightened, she's not at all happy that he's so friendly with Veronica Mars. She doesn't remember them interacting in school so much so where is all of their coming from all of a sudden? "Since when have you two been so friendly?"

Weevil shrugs, "Veronica's always been cool in my books."

Logan's jaw is clenched, Veronica can feel how tensed he is beside her and she doesn't understand it because moments ago, he was fine. She lets her other hand rub on top of their intertwined fingers. She's trying to calm him down, get him out of his head and adds, "We've helped each other out a few times."

He stares at her, unsettled and annoyed. He recalls the names of the letter recipients and she'd never mentioned any Eli or Weevil or Navarro.

He's mentally counted the letters again, him, Duncan, Troy (God knows why), Deputy Dimples, and Stosh Pizwhatsitcalled.

She never mentioned _him_. He doesn't think she'd leave it out, she didn't have any reason to so that must mean she's never had a crush on him before.

He comforts himself with that thought but he can't help this feeling of annoyance and unbridled jealousy bubbling up inside him.

"Helped each other, how?" He asks, trying his best to keep his voice neutral and casual like Veronica's been doing this entire time - until she started talking to Weevil whom she's only too happy to laugh with.

"There's this one time I needed to find my neighbour, Sarah," Veronica recalls and Weevil is already nodding along to the memory. Logan's jaw clenches harder and he's trying not to squeeze her hand too hard, Veronica doesn't comment on his behaviour and continues, "Weevil and his crew are a very effective means of intimidation."

Logan looks at her quizzically, jealousy losing to that of his curiosity at this side of Veronica that he knows about but hasn't really seen. He remembers that for the past year or so she's been helping people sometimes with some things; missing school parrots, my secret admirers and generally high school fuelled stuff. He never thought it went beyond that. "You needed to intimidate someone?"

She shrugs, nodding her head. She didn't do the investigation thing often but when her friends needed help, she helped them.

"Once, my grandma was charged for credit card fraud. Veronica helped prove who it really was," Weevil adds onto the list, proud and still very grateful to her.

Logan remembers this vaguely from last year, Aaron had fired Mrs Navarro despite his mother's refusal. They'd never believed she'd done it but his father was furious and demanded justice, even if the money didn't put a dent in his millions and Mrs Navarro had been loyal for 10 years.

"Let's just hope there's no more false accusations at Hearst," Veronica pipes. "I've been restricted access to certain resources thanks to one Deputy _Lambutt_ , as Heather likes to say."

Weevil chuckles, the vibrations echoing on Lilly's fingers and she finds herself feeling irritated. Weevil has never been friendly with anyone else but with Veronica Mars, he's a laughing idiot who reminisces on good old days?

Why does Veronica always lure in all of the guys that she likes? First Logan and now Weevil. She wonders if Logan knows that his precious girlfriend sent her brother a love letter. She wonders if Logan would finally realized that Veronica Mars is a traitor and not the innocent Sheriff's daughter everyone thought she was.

"How is that kid?" Weevil asks, smiling widely and Lilly is left with nerves she's never had before. "It's been awhile."

"You know Heather?" Logan asks, not at all liking this new piece of information. If he knows Heather that means he's been to the house. What would he be doing at Veronica's house?

"She's in the same class as my niece, Ophelia," he informs them. "They're, what's the word they use nowadays?" His brow crinkles as he looks at Veronica for help.

"Besties," Veronica laughs. She turns to Logan, knowing that he cares a lot about her sister and tells him, "Heather, Darrell and Ophelia are what she likes to call the golden trio. I can only blame myself for the Harry Potter obsession."

"Ah, but actually there's this kid, Ryan Mackenzie that's joined the pack," Weevil lets her know, chuckling at how his niece had gone on about him. He'd have thought that she had a crush on Ryan if he hadn't already known that she liked Darrell. "Literally described as the Fabulous Foursome now."

"No way!" Veronica gasps, her hand slamming on Logan's lap as she laughs, bright eyed at this new information. "Heather never said a word! And she loves to brag about all her friends."

Logan's eyes trail at Veronica and he feels himself smile, he doesn't really care if Weevil sees his eyes adoring the girl beside him. He doesn't really care if Lilly gets pissed off and throws a tantrum. He doesn't really care about all these things that Weevil knows that he doesn't. He just hopes that she doesn't let go of him, that he gets to see all of this other sides of her and that she comes to love him like he loves her.

"Drinks anyone?" Lilly interjects, she doesn't want to talk about Veronica anymore. "I'm feeling for an Irish coffee."

Veronica arches a brow. "They're never gonna serve you alcohol, Lilly."

Her green eyes sparkle and she grins, "Wanna bet?"


	25. Chapter 25

Of course, Lilly gets her Irish coffee - more Irish than coffee - and Veronica's not sure why she's surprised because Lilly Kane always gets what Lilly Kane wants.

Veronica uses the excuse of getting pictures during the performance to get out of having to watch Lilly be extra touchy, extra flirty and extra mean under the guise of being tipsy.

It's an awkward situation that she's found herself in; a contractually obligating promise to help Logan get back the love of his life that is sure to hurt both Weevil and herself. Or she doesn't help him and he feels the pain of heart break all over again.

"Veronica?" She hears a familiar voice from behind her.

"Duncan?" She blinks in surprised before a smile settles onto her lips. "Came to show your school spirit to the mighty mighty, _Tritons_?"

"Your pictures in last week's article really did appeal to my musical senses," he jokes and she gives him a smile for the compliment even though she knows his musical senses are next to null.

"Really? I was sure it was the pun filled tag line that caught your eye."

He chuckles, shaking his head and confesses, "Actually, Lilly invited me. Can you believe it?"

For a long time, Duncan's tried his best to win over Lilly's affection to no avail. She's marked lines between them and named him her enemy in a fight for their parents approval for the simple fact that he got it and she didn't.

Veronica wants to believe that Lilly's had a change of heart and decided to bond with her brother but she knows better. She wants to be wrong, she knows she isn't. "Lilly did?"

"Who would have thought that a broken heart would be what fixed my broken relationship with my sister?"

His words sting her more than it should have. She knows he's talking about Meg because Meg is the only one that had his heart but he's looking at her with blue eyes that have longing in them and she's not sure if this is about her letter or the fact that they've grown apart since he's read her letter.

She gives him an awkward smile, trying to hide the uncomfortable feeling that settled over her. "There's that silver lining, huh?"

He lets an uneasy smile fall on his face before it falls of completely. "I kind of told Lilly about the letter you sent me."

She gasps at him, actually gasps because if there's one person besides Meg that she never wanted to find out about the letters, it would be Lilly. "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't know what to do," he confesses. "I was so confused, Veronica and I had no one else to talk to about it. And Lilly helped me, made me see we needed to reconcile before there was too much distance between us before there was no going back."

His words pass through her ears without any processed thought because all she can think of is the possible damage Lilly can now do. "I can't believe you told her, Duncan. I asked you not to tell anyone."

"I know," he lets out, frustrated and apologetic at the same time. "I'm sorry Veronica but I needed to talk to someone, I couldn't talk to you, I tried to and you always just ran away. Who else was there for me to talk to?"

"Duncan -"

"I wasn't gonna tell you but tonight I saw you guys and realized that you look happier with him than I've ever seen you even with Lilly sitting across you," he says with sad eyes and a weak smile. "And as much as I want to believe that Lilly invited me here because of our new found relationship, I think it might have been to break you two up. She's not happy that you're with Logan."

She takes a deep breath and sighs. She wants to be upset at Duncan but she feels the need to get to Logan before Lilly can taunt him about this. Logan knows about the letters but she knows this could hurt the image they want to portray to Lilly.

Her eyes flicker pass Duncan, searching the crowd for Logan, finally spotting him at the corner of the counter and sees him downing a drink.

She swallows and looks for Lilly in the crowd of people because she wants to know exactly what the girl is doing to make Logan look so upset. She sees the green eyed girl grinding along with Weevil on the dance floor and she knows now that Duncan's just here to play a role to distract her from Logan so Lilly can play her own game of torture against the boy.

"Veronica?" Duncan voices, his hand on her arm as he tries to get her attention.

It's then that she meets Logan's eyes and she sucks in a breath. It's this moment that she realizes that she's about to break a rule that she's wanted to for a long while now.

* * *

When Veronica excuses herself to get snapshots of the band playing, Logan excuses himself to get some coffee; non-Irish because unlike Lilly, he is driving.

It doesn't take long for Lilly to follow him and he knows what's coming next; it's obvious that Lilly isn't happy with his conditioning their relationship status to strictly friendship. He doesn't understand her - how she could want him and want other guys and think that's perfectly okay? She can't share him so why does she constantly expect him to share her?

He's trying his best to get through this date, trying to show Veronica that he's moved on from Lilly and to show Lilly that he's moved on from her too.

"Why did it have to be her?" He hears Lilly from beside him. She's settled down on the bar stole, ordering another drink and at this point foregoing the coffee completely.

He takes in a breath, he doesn't turn to her yet, he doesn't want to see the hurt look in her eye that he can hear in her voice. He doesn't know why she's hurt but he doesn't want her to be, no matter what happens between them.

"She's Veronica, Lil. Once upon a time you loved her too," he reminds her. He still doesn't understand where their animosity came from and he wonders if it's possible for them to ever become friends again.

Lilly scoffs beside him. "That was a long time ago before I saw her for who she really was."

He frowns, the answer making less sense than Veronica's reasoning so he turns to her and questions. "Who do you think she is?"

Lilly's eyes snap to his and he wonders for a moment if he's going to get true answers behind the reason why the _BFF_ title had been stripped from Veronica's name.

"Did you know she sent Duncan a love letter?" She asks in favour of answering his question with a arched brow, trying to keep a straight face but losing it to her tight lipped mouth and anger fuelled green eyes.

The question throws him off and he doesn't hide the surprise of her knowledge of the letter well because Lilly's lips turn into a self-satisfied smirk.

"It doesn't matter, Lil. Veronica is with me. Can't you respect that?"

"Duncan likes her too, you know," she continues like she hasn't heard him and he clenches his jaw as he looks pass Lilly at her brother standing too close to Veronica for his liking.

"I don't care about what Duncan feels. Veronica is with _me_ and not _him_ ," he emphasizes with certainty that he doesn't have any right to have.

"For how long, lovah?" She taunts, bright green eyes and wicked smile. "From the looks of it, I'm pretty sure Duncan thinks he's got a shot."

He knows without a doubt that even though Veronica might end this thing between them, she'd never leave him for Duncan because Meg Mars was more important than a boy with pretty eyes and a nice personality.

"And it's not like loyalty is something Veronica values," she remarks, as though this is a fact he should know as she downs her drink.

His brows crease, frowning, he asks, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know what," she pointedly says.

"I really don't," he snaps because he's really had enough of Lilly making these unwarranted snide remarks of and to Veronica. "Veronica's never been in a relationship before. She couldn't have cheated on anyone," he defends. "You, on the other hand, have vast experience on the matter and I _loved_ you anyway. God, Lil, I'm trying to maintain this friendship because you're still important to me but you're making it really hard."

He wishes he could have a drink.

"Why did you have to choose her? Of all the girls that throw themselves at you why did it have to be her?" Her voice is quieter, the bitterness gone and the vulnerability seeping out her eyes.

He loses the fight in him. He wants to understand. He wants to fix them. He wants Lilly to regain the friendship she had with Veronica because he knows that they could still be great friends. He knows that Lilly desperately needs a Veronica in her life, someone who isn't afraid to be honest with her and someone to keep her grounded.

Because Lilly is Icarus and he's afraid that one day she really will fly too high and find herself burned to ash.

"Why do you hate her so much?"

She closes up at the question, all traces of vulnerability gone as quick as it came. "God, Logan, how can you not know when you're the reason why," she angrily snaps.

She finishes off her drink and he's staring at her trying to figure out which pieces of this puzzle he's missing. He doesn't say anything as she hops of the bar stole and storms away.

He doesn't understand what Lilly means by him being the reason why. What had he ever done to cause the once upon a time best friends to become enemies?

His eyes follow her retreating figure, she's grabbed Weevil and she's pouring all her frustrations into kissing him.

He chugs his coffee, looking away from the couple and he feels frustrated, confused and perplexed.

He doesn't exactly understand the next chain of events that unfold either. He glances at Veronica and sees her still talking with Duncan; he feels irritated beyond compare because why the hell is Duncan freaking Kane touching his girlfriend's arm?

He's so absorbed in his thoughts, in his glare that he's unfocused when he realizes that Veronica is moving away from Duncan and towards him with this look in her eye that makes him feel all sorts of fire stirring within his soul.

His eyes follow hers until she reaches him, she doesn't say a word and his mouth is dry as she grabs his t-shirt and yanks him down towards her, kissing him like their lives depended on it.

He's holding tightly onto her waist, drawing her into him as he kisses her just as hard and deep as she's kissing him - can she feel how badly he wants her? Can she feel how much he loves her? Can she feel that she's the only one that he wants to be kissing?

His whole being is filled with hope because she's said very clearly and contractually that when she's making out with a guy it's gonna be real. She fought him on it and left no room for arguments about this condition so the only reason she's kissing him right now is because she wants to, right?

She's pulling away, her eyes are heavy with a dazed off look as she tries to catch her breath.

Before she can move or say anything his hand moves up to cup her face and he presses his lips back onto hers. He tugs at her upper lip with his teeth and slipping his tongue into her mouth.

He doesn't want to stop kissing her. He doesn't want to find out whether this really is real or not. He just wants to live in this moment forever.

Her fingers uncurl from his shirt and she lets go of him, sucking in much needed air and he's just staring at her, stunned, mesmerized and hopelessly in love.

Her eyes move from his face to behind him and she lets out a breath with a triumphant remark, "Mission accomplished."

He closes his eyes and it kills him that this was a show for someone _\- Duncan -_ he presumes because why else would she do this?

"I'm sorry I broke the rule," she softly says, biting her lip that was just seconds ago being pulled by his own teeth. He wants to do that again and he doesn't want her to be sorry at all. "I just couldn't keep letting her hurt you like this."

He realizes then that Lilly is the reason for this sudden turn of events. The irony would be funny if he wasn't still reeling from the kiss they'd just shared.

He forces a smirk, breaking away from his kiss induced fantasies. "Feel free to kiss me whenever you want, Veronica."

She lets out a breath, letting a little grin form on her mouth as she quips, "Think you can handle that, Echolls?"

He grins and he throws back, "Want me to show you just how much I can handle that?"

"Okay, buddy boy," she laughs, forced and flustered. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Did you taste any alcohol on my breath?" He arches a brow, knowing he hasn't had a drop of it. "Or do you need another go at it just to be sure?" He winks, grinning and focusing on the way her eyes dip to his lips.

His grin widens and he revels in the fact that it looks like Veronica Mars wants to kiss him again, which means that Veronica _the-next-time-I-kiss-someone-I-want-it-to-be-real_ Mars enjoys kissing him. _For real._

"Okay, I'm so driving," she lets out a chuckle, choosing to ignore the obvious tension between them.

"Veronica, I haven't had anything other than coffee and it's not of the Irish kind," he says with complete seriousness.

"Mmmhmm," she hums out, unsure of what to do or say or how to not focus on the way her mind is still revolving around the kiss and the way her body is tingling from head to toe, begging her to wrap her arms around him and kiss him again and again and again.

He smiles, feeling satisfied that she's gone this far for him. He truly does know how much it took for Veronica to kiss him this way. It might mean that she really does like him for real or it might mean that she simply didn't want him to further get hurt by Lilly like she'd claimed. He's not entirely sure. But he is sure that either reason means that she cares deeply about him and he appreciates that because there aren't many people that truly do care for him.

"Hey, Veronica?" He lets out, they've been staring at each other and he wants to kiss her and confess his love to her right then and there but he wants to be sure that she'll reciprocate because she wants to and not because of their audience.

She hums out, somewhat lost in a daze for a second before refocusing and saying, "Yeah?"

He gives her a soft smile, touching her arm with sincere brown eyes staring into her deep blue eyes and says, "Thank you for caring about me."

She returns his smile, leaning into his touch and nodding her head. She wants to say something to him but her voice is dry and she feels herself getting lost into his brown eyes all over again.


	26. Chapter 26

She's broken one rule, it's not really that big of a deal if she breaks another, right?

"Veronica?" Wallace taps on the window, concern spread all over his face.

She knows he's remembering the last time she'd sat here - except she was a crying mess that was unable to form words and he'd been the understanding best friend that held her until she could talk about how her mother had abandoned them for a brand new family.

She takes a breath and says, "I kissed Logan."

His face scrunches in a twist of confusion. "Why is this news worthy?"

She looks at him, wide eyed as she thinks about last night's events that she'd momentarily packed away into a neat little bowed up box and stored it away in the corner of her mind.

The only problem with that was after the adrenaline of the night died off when she laid in blanketed cocoon ready to sleep, the bow of the box came undone and she couldn't resist peeking in and reliving the fire she felt kissing Logan.

She'd felt so much in that moment, she still feels so much just thinking about it and it's become so much more than her little bowed up box can bear to seal up again.

It's become evident that she needed to let it all out; this would usually be the moment she'd turn to a blank white page and a smooth inked pen but that's how she'd gotten into this mess in the first place.

So she turns to her best friend, her confidante and partner in bending the rules in the name of justice because Wallace Fennel is the one person in the world that she trusts enough to not judge her no matter how bad of a mess she creates.

"He kissed me back," she breaths out as though this is a revelationary thing. "Like a lot back."

He's giving her a grossed out look and she finally looks him in the eye and helplessly confesses, "Logan and I aren't really dating."

* * *

They're in his room, Veronica's curled up with a pillow on her lap and her knees folded up. Wallace is beside her trying to comprehend her tale of the fake romance between her and Neptune's 09er King.

"So you guys have been faking this entire time?" He confirms because he's seen them together and it never once felt fake at all. He saw the subtle touches, the smiles, and the _looks_.

He doesn't care if Logan Echolls is a product of Hollywood A-list actors, there's no way that all that was him simply putting on a show for people that, Wallace is sure, faded into the background whenever Logan had his sights on his best friend.

She nods, dejected and frustrated with herself. "Yeah," she whispers. "It's become so much more than what it was supposed to be," she admits.

She doesn't know what's real and what's pretend anymore. She hasn't known for a long time because she loses herself in the essence of Logan, letting herself enjoy his presence, his soft touches, his sharp silver tongue, the way he surprises her more and more everyday and the kindness he has to him that not many people get to see.

It's scary how easy it is to be with him. It's scary that there's variables she can't control. It's scary that he makes her feel so happy and it's scary that any moment it all could just be... gone.

"I don't know what to do," she says, giving him a tired and soft smile, thanking him silently for listening to her. "I just feel kinda stupid to fall for a guy that's in love with someone else."

He gives her a look and shakes his head. "I don't know how he's looking at Lilly but I've seen the way he looks at you, Vee. Homeboy likes you."

She tries not to show that her heart jolted at the sound of that because she's lost herself in his eyes more times than she can count and she's realized somewhere in between the light in his eyes and the way his iris widens that no boy has ever looked at her that way before - in a way that makes her body feel all sorts of tingly right down to her toes.

"How does he look at me?" She asks, hopefully sounding more casual than she feels.

He grins, letting out a small chuckle and she knows that she's come of anything but casual.

"Like you're his world and everything in it," he puts simply. "How can he be pretending all of that," he gestures with his hands circling an air ball. "For the sake of making Lilly jealous or to get Duncan to back off you when all of the times we've hung out neither have been there at all?"

He quirks a brow at her, staring at her expectantly as she silently revels in soul bearing moments and excused kisses.

"Let's look at the facts of it all," Wallace decides, appealing to the logical part of his best friend. "The whole fake relationship was his idea, you came up with the no-kissing rule and now you're actively trying to push him towards another girl. So I'd say if anyone stupidly fell for someone who doesn't like them back it's not you. It's Logan."

She lets out a breath, the wheels spinning in her head at even the possibility. "You really think Logan likes me?"

He snorts at the question. "I know he does."

Her lips slowly grow into a wide smile and Wallace chuckles at her look, shaking his head. "You really are a marshmallow, Veronica Mars."

She laughs, scrunching her face up and sticking her tongue at him. He laughs, scrunching his nose back at her and bumping her shoulder with his, happy that she's looking better and brighter than when he'd found her sitting out on his driveway.

"Veronica, honey," Alicia calls, popping her head from the side of the door. "Are you staying for dinner?"

She shakes her head no and provides, "Heather and Logan wanted to go to the carnival today."

Alicia lets out an ah of understanding and quizzes, "So you're gonna stuff yourself with junk?"

"That's the carnival experience," she shrugs with a seemingly helpless smile. "Do you wanna come?"

"I've got a date with my television set tonight," Alicia rain checks, mimicking Veronica's shrug and smile. "Wallace and Darrell can go with you though."

Veronica beams, happy to have her best friend with her as back up. "What do ya say? Cotton candy and drinks that turn your mouth blue?"

He laughs at her wiggling her brows as though he needs any more temptation other than the word carnival itself. "Hells yeah."


	27. Chapter 27

"Mmmm the smell of fried dough, popcorn and foot long meat filled sandwiches," Veronica sniffs the air, eyes closed and a blissful smile. "Ain't nothing like the carnival."

Logan chuckles, tilting his head as he admires her. Wallace grins, gesturing with his brows to the love struck boy and Veronica's eyes widen slightly, she cranks her neck a bit and gives Wallace a thin lipped smile.

His shoulders pick up in an exaggerated shrug, his smile bright and his eyes still hinting at Logan.

Veronica gives Logan a hesitate smile, hoping he doesn't notice Wallace's teasing gestures and Wallace just laughs, he rubs his palms together and remarks loudly, "I was promised cotton candy and slush puppies."

“I could go for slushies,” Heather chirps. “I'm waiting for Ophelia to get here so we can go on the rides together.”

“And Ryan,” Darrell teases, snickering beside her and she swats his arm as she mouths ‘shut up'.

Veronica grins at Heather's blushing and flustered face as she rambles on and Logan softly chuckles. “While you guys get some snacks, how about we get the unlimited ride wrist bands for the kids?”

Veronica bobs her head, agreeing, “Good idea.” She turns to Heather, hands her some cash and says, “Tell Wallace to get me some caramel popcorn. Gotta get myself warmed up before I go in full throttle on that foot long sandwich roll,“ she pumped up her arms in a show of dramatics.

Logan grins, amused while Heather gives her an unimpressed look and rhetorically remarks, “Why are you like this?”

“You want the bands or not?” Veronica shoots back, brow arched with a triumph smirk when she sees Heather cave in with a dragged out sigh.

Logan shakes his head at the duo and laces his fingers with Veronica's as they walk to the ticket booth.

She swallows at the familiar feel of his warm and long fingers wrapped around hers. She bites her lip because she feels so aware that there's no one here to pretend for and she wonders if he realizes this. Has it become instinct for him to take her hand? Or did he actively seek it out because he liked holding her hand?

She doesn't say anything about it but there's a faint blush on her face because it feels like something more.

"Veronica?"

She hears him say and she snaps out of her thoughts, "Yeah?"

They're standing in line which is longer than they thought it would be but it's Sunday and they really shouldn't be surprised. "Last night, Lilly said the reason you guys weren't friends any more was because of me."

His admission takes her by complete surprise. "You actually asked her,” she can't seem to dim the disbelieve in her voice. “Why even bother after all this time?"

"I don't know,” he half shrugs, his free hand running through the back ends of his hair. “I mean we've reconnected, I just thought maybe if we cleared the bad blood between you guys -"

"Logan,” she stops him, takes a breath as she tries to gather the right way to phrase herself. “I know you care about Lilly,” she acknowledges even though she doesn't really want to acknowledge it any more. “But I've decided long ago to not care about people who don't give a damn about me,” she says emphatically, knowing that he understands what she's been through to have come to this conclusion.

“And if it were your fault why did she crown you the title of boyfriend while I was left as a cast away?" Veronica bitterly continues with her irritation building up. "What could you have possibly done that - " she stops mid-sentence when realization hits her. She swallows and reveals, "You kissed me."

He stares at her quizzically. "What?"

She huffs out a breath and shakes her head with utter disbelief. "The only thing that you've ever done with me that Lilly would ever feel betrayal over is when you kissed me when we were twelve."

He remembers the day fondly, his first kiss with Veronica but he doesn't understand how Lilly could have known about it because he's never told anyone and he's pretty sure Veronica didn't tell anyone. "How would she even know about that?"

"I don't know,” she shakes her head. “But that's the only reason that could possibly involve you."

He runs the theory in his head but it makes less sense than Veronica's first theory of them growing apart. He wasn't with Lilly then. "That was five years ago."

Veronica scoffs as they move along the line. "This is Lilly Kane we're talking about. She holds a grudge like she could make a business out of it." Veronica shakes her head, they've reached the counter and Logan's putting in the order and handing over payment for wrist bands as Veronica gathers her thoughts.

"Now I know why she used to get so prissy every time I talked about you," she grumbled.

Logan accepts the wrist bands with a quick thanks and as they move away from the line, he asks with a ghost of a smile, "You talked about me?"

She glances as him as they continue walking and shrugs, "You may have come up in conversations."

He grins, wide and mischievously. "Were these slumber party worthy conversations that you had in short shorts in the midst of a pillow fight?"

She rolls her eyes. It was a long time ago and she was a kid. She remembers though that she'd felt guilt about that kiss because this was the guy her best friend liked and she started to like him too.

Her redemption had been letting go off all the romantic notations she'd had about Logan and being supportive for her best friend. That's the reason she'd never told Lilly about the kiss but if she were being completely honest she had been afraid of what that kiss might have done to their friendship and now she knows.

Veronica doesn't know how Lilly's spun off the tale in her head but she's sure that it's worst case scenario; betrayal and plotting against her because that's the world Lilly lives in.

She swallows down any sort of regret she had because the fact is that Lilly still got Logan and she got a bowl of nothing except tears down her face wondering what she'd done wrong.

She sighs with resignation maybe if they'd spoke about this back then they could have fixed everything. But they didn't, it's five years later and Lilly's resentment has grown into hatred and Veronica just wants to be done with it all.

"Hey,” he bumps her shoulder, pulling her out of her thoughts once again. “Want me to get you a teddy bear? I hear it's a must for _normal_ couples," he asks, eyeing the toy filled booth.

"Hmm. I prefer my teddy bears earned by a demonstration of skill in some sort of ring tossing test of abilities," she quips, turning him around to the long aisle of gaming booths available for play.

"Ah," he lets out. "So m'lady wants her prize to be won, does she?"

"She does," Veronica grins and he chuckles, letting his hand find hers again and tugs her along to the booth.


	28. Chapter 28

"Vee, we've been looking for you guys," Wallace announces when he spots the pseudo-couple. He's got his pink cotton candy in hand and his blue slushie in the other.

"Dude, did Logan win all that?" Darrell asks, he has his own stick with blue cotton candy and a candy apple for Logan in his hand. He stares at Veronica in awe, she's got six mini bears stuffed in her bag, peaking through the edges and one stuffed under her arm as she digs into a plate full of funnel cake.

Veronica hums, nodding with her mouth full as she gestures to Logan who's still playing this ring tossing game because he wants the big prize which is a brown bear holding a clichéd big red heart wit with the words 'I Wuv You Beary Much' etched onto it. She'd told him he didn't have to, that he's won her more than enough bears but he's determined to add the 'ultimate prize' to this collection.

Meanwhile Heather gaps at her sister, she's not entirely surprised that Veronica is eating something else but she had to stand in a whole other line to get her the caramel popcorn and she's stuffing her face with funnel cake?

"You're eating funnel cake and we got you caramel popcorn," Heather lets out frustrate as she tosses the packet to Veronica.

Veronica gives her sister a look as she barely catches the packet since her hands are already occupied. "I got hungry and they smelled _really_ good," she defends not regretting her decision one bit and shoves the packet of caramelized corn into her already bulging bag.

"I had to stand in a whole other line for it," the little blonde complains and Veronica lets out a sorry look, promising that she's going to eat it later and that Heather's effort would not be in vain.

The young Mars girl rolls her eyes but moves closer to her sister and gets a whiff of the came. Her annoyance fades away as she stares at the chocolatey goodness and concedes, "They do smell good, can I have a bite?"

Veronica eyes her sister and reluctantly decides, "Only one."

Heather beams, taking in a large bite and Veronica sighs because Heather's got a big mouth and she definitely just cheated her way by chewing off at least two and a half regular sized bites there.

"Okay, Logan?" Veronica calls for his attention since everyone is now gathered together and waiting. "We need to get moving."

He glances back at her, handing her a small white unicorn key chain and bargains, "One more try."

Veronica grabs it as she nods, lets him pay and then butts him out of the way. It's a fact that these games are rigged so you couldn't win the big prizes so she tilts her head and bats her lashes at the booth attendant. "Hey," she's chirps, pearly white smile and her voice a pitch higher. "If I hit the bulls eye three times in a row, would that win me the bear? I know it's totally a different game but I mean it is the same booth, right?"

"Sure, blondie," he smirks. "If you can hit three bulls eye in a row. You can have any bear you like, sweetheart."

Veronica gives him a tight smile and hands Logan her bag and funnel cake - which Heather quickly snatches and begins to finish off.

Darrell hands Logan the candy apple that they'd got for him, Logan thanks him with a smile and begins to munch on it as Veronica takes the lead in trying to win the bear.

She's become accustomed to having people underestimate her and she's learned to use this to her advantage - be it in getting information or bargaining her way to winning bears that hold hearts that say 'I Wuv You Beary Much' for her fake boyfriend.

"How is this fair?" Logan grumbles as she hits one bulls eye after another. "I have to do ring tossing and she gets away with darts?"

Veronica gives the guy a bright smile as he hands her the bear, he's looking at her with an expression that's a mix between impressed and shocked and Veronica feels satisfied.

"Here ya go," she hands the brown bear to Logan. "You can name her after me."

He chuckles, he'd been trying to win the bear for her but he accepts the gifted prize with a smile. He glances at the bear, his thump grazes over the heart and he grins.

"Oooh, Ophelia is here," Heather chirps, she shoves the now empty plate into Veronica's bare hands and skips towards her best friend with Darrell following behind her.

Veronica sighs and grumbles, "She finished the cake."

Logan arches his brow and points out, "You make cake all the time."

"It's _carnival_ cake, Logan," she emphasizes like there's some magic added into their baked goods and food that don't exist in the ordinary world. "It's once a year cake."

"We can buy more," he suggests, the stall is right there and the line isn't really that long so he could easily get her another piece of cake.

"Nah," she shakes her head. "I really want a chocolate shake and corn dogs," she muses, hunger building up in her stomach once again.

"Corn dogs and shakes, coming up," he nods, as though he was a waiter taking her order and she chuckles, hooking her arm around his offered one.

* * *

In the next hour, Georgia joins them, leaving Wallace a giddy mess every time she praised him for winning her something and Ryan joined soon after thus completing the newly formed fabulous foursome.

"Yo, Vee, doesn't this make me look like a G?" Darrell poses with sunglasses and his hands crossed as he leans backwards completing his image.

Veronica looks at him, lips pursed, unsure of what exactly he means by 'G' but bobs her head to appease him anyway.

Logan chuckles at the interaction and Heather's brows furrow, shaking her head. "Why would you want to be a letter that's only worth two points in scrabble?"

Veronica tries to hold back her laugh as Heather and Darrell continue to bicker. Ophelia and Ryan talk amongst themselves in the background, not so silently laughing at their friends.

"So think the kids will like a go at the bumper cars?" Logan asks, staring at the ride across them.

A grin spreads across her face and she teases, "Do _you_ want a go at the bumper cars?"

He shrugs, slight grin on his mouth and casually answers, "I wouldn't hate it."

She laughs, clearly seeing that he would very much enjoy a go at it and roughly ten minutes later, they're all settling into four different cars; Heather and Ophelia, Darrell and Ryan, Veronica and Georgia, finally Logan and Wallace.

Heather has her hands on the wheel and Ophelia is kicking back, whispering in Heather's ears and the duo giggle wildly.

Darrell and Ryan have both their hands on their wheel, eagerly anticipating the start of the game as they grin wickedly at all the players they know.

Veronica and Georgia have their hands on their wheel too, Georgia smiling widely, having fun just playing while Veronica grins staring directly at Logan. She arches a brow, challenging and he's smirking at her, holding her gaze and wholeheartedly accepting her challenge with Wallace beside him and their hands steady on the wheel, he's fully prepared to go head to head with her - bumper car to bumper car.

The other seats fill up rather quickly and it slowly starts up. Veronica's grin widens and they accelerated head first into Logan and Wallace, laughing loudly, thoroughly enjoying getting the first hit in.

Heather comes from behind and swings into Veronica and the rest of the three minutes the gang spends knocking each other, screaming and laughing manically as they enjoy the ride.

* * *

The kids go on ride after ride with Wallace and Georgia while Veronica finally gets to eat her foot long meat stuffed sandwich. She's satisfied herself with her share of rides, bumper cars, horse carousel and rollercoasters. Now, all she wants to do is satisfy her hunger ever since they entered the carnival.

Logan watches her with amusement, he's got his own foot long meat stuffed sandwich at her instance that he has to try this _once a year carnival only_ sandwich.

It doesn't take much to persuade him because it smells delicious, looks tempting as hell and Veronica is excited beyond compare - an excitement she's only ever shown for Italian food. So it's fair to say that he's game for going to town with this long ass sandwich.

It's the look on her face when she takes the first bite, eyes closed, mouth stuff and relaxed in pleasure that he never wants to forget. She slightly moans at the taste of it, it's been a year since she's had this sandwich and it tastes even better than before.

Logan seriously consider buying this stall and keeping it for their sandwich needs just so that he can hear her moan again but honestly he wishes he could hear her moan in a different context.

He takes his first bite and he gets it; the meat is soft and easy to bite into, marinated with spicy sauce that's just right enough to give him a tinge of the flavour and not burn his mouth, even the lettuce tastes good combined with all the other ingredients and the Fresh roll is so fresh, he could eat it plain. He doesn't know what else is in there, there's different textures with subtle favours and all he can do is savour the flavour and enjoy it.

"It's good, right?" Veronica voices out between bites.

He hums out his agreement, his mouth still stuffed and when he swallows, he verbalized, "So good."

She smiles, simply letting herself enjoy sitting across Logan and eating one of the best meals that the carnival offers as they listen to live bands play in the background.

It's ridiculous that he looks so good while he's eating a rather messy meal and she chuckles when he notices that the sauce is dripping and he has to back away fast or lick it off.

It's strange how all her ordinary days have gotten better with Logan in it and how ordinary moments hold such significant fondness in her brain. She wants to tell him just how much he's come to mean to her and how she kind of wants to kiss the sauce right of his messy lips.

* * *

It's almost time for them to leave, the stars shin bright over the moonlit sky, and tomorrow is school. Everyone is watching the magic performance on stage but Veronica finds her sister with her shoulders sagging as she stands in front of the gaming booth with a fishing net in hand.

"Heather? You okay?" Veronica asks as she comes to stand beside her little sister.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Heather rebuffs as she stares at the yellow little ducks floating on a kiddies pool waiting to be caught.

Veronica cocks her head as she stares at her sister with a quizzical look on her face. "Because you're losing at the easiest game ever invented," she points out.

"It's tricky," she defends with no actual vindication in her voice. "What if I get a prize I don't want?"

Veronica arches a brow. "Yeah because all these prizes sure are for winners," she rolls out. "Let's see, a pack of cards, Rubix cube, one dollar knock off Barbie doll, marbles, plastic headband that has razor sharp teeth that bite into your skull?"

"One can never have too many marbles," Heather dryly remarks. "Lessons learned from Home Alone," she twitches her head a bit to the side and decidingly grabs a yellow duck with her fishing net.

The attendant looks under the caught duck and hands her a Rubix cube which Heather takes with a quick thank you. Veronica supposes of the lot of toys, it's one of the better ones to have won.

Heather tears apart the plastic packet, handing the wasted plastic to her sister as she twists the colours of the cube and Veronica silently walks with beside her as she wonders if ice cream would cheer her up. Ice cream always did the trick.

"Ophelia likes Ryan," the little girl confesses, her eyes still on her Rubix cube as she jumbles up the colours.

"Really?" Veronica's brows shoot up at the new piece of information. "I thought she liked Darrell."

"I thought so too," her sister quietly admits and Veronica offers her a sympathetic smile but Heather's eyes are still on the cube and Veronica's not really sure how to have this conversation with her sister.

"Do you like Ryan too?" The older Mars girl asks even though she knows the answer - has known the answer ever since she mentioned Ryan to Heather only to have her turn into a stuttering mess.

"Of course not," she denies weakly. "I just told you that Ophelia likes him."

They're walking aimlessly and Veronica thinks that any discussion about boys need to have comfort food involved so she directs them to the opposite end where there's seemingly endless choices of _once in a year_ carnival food lies in wait.

It's a sad fact that she's been in Heather's shoes and she still doesn't know what's the right choice to make. She'd thought she'd made the right choice in avoiding Logan, in not telling Lilly about the kiss, in squashing her feelings. But she still lost her best friend.

She wonders how things would have worked out if they were simply honest. She wonders if she could have mustered the courage to be brave enough to do so. She wonders if she has the courage now to be brave enough to tell Logan how she really feels.

She's been waiting for the philosophical other shoe to drop, for Logan to go back to Lilly, for Lilly to successfully break them up or for Logan to make it clear that this has all been fake. But she's the only one drawing lines only to cross them.

Veronica's ordering mini-doughnuts with caramelized and chocolate toppings, she eyes other stalls but she decides to keep it light since she's _been_ eating a lot.

"You know," she starts once she has the tray of mini-doughnuts in her hand. "When I was your age, my friend liked someone and I liked him too," she confesses, offering her sister a doughnut from the tray.

"Really?" She asks, intrigued at the story her sister seems to be about to tell as she accepts one of the caramelized mini-doughnuts.

"Yeah," Veronica lets out as she chews. "I think the only thing I regret about it is not being able to be honest about my feelings," she admits.

Like Logan, she has what if'd their past in every possible way. What if she told him she liked him? What if he told her he liked her? What if she didn't avoid him? What if he saw the way she blushed every time she looked at him and thought about the feel of his lips on hers? What if she'd told Lilly about the kiss? What if she told Lilly she liked Logan? Would any one of those scenarios have made a difference? Would all of them have? Would things be better or worse now? Would they still have come to be who they were now? Would she and Logan have broken up like how Lilly and him broke up?

"I think if I were I wouldn't have lost my friend and I wouldn't have waited five years to be with the guy," she says even though she's not really with the guy.

"Logan?" Heather whispers his name with a small gasp.

"Logan," Veronica confirms and they're silent for a moment and Veronica wonders if five years from now would she be thinking up scenarios about the boy that has once again captured her heart?

She doesn't want Logan to end up on her what if list again. She doesn't want to live this life of what ifs and what could have been or think.

"Was the girl Duncan's sister?" Heather breaks the silence.

"Yeah," she sighs. "There was a lot of miscommunication and far too many feelings for twelve year old girls to know how to handle by themselves."

"You guys hate each other now," comes the doubtful voice of Heather.

"Years of feeling like someone you trusted betrayed you can manifest into something really ugly," Veronica deducts, thoughts of Lilly and her as two little girls fresh in her mind. "I don't want that to happen to you. You should talk to her and be honest about your feelings."

"You don't think she'll hate me like Lilly hates you?" She bluntly outs forth because even though she's become friends with everyone in her class but the one she values most is Ophelia, they've been friends for as long as she can remember and she can't picture her life without her.

"I think if I were honest with Lilly instead of ignoring it all or if Lilly told me how she felt about me instead of being so passive aggressive about it all things might have been different."

It's the first time Veronica admits that something could have been done to salvage their friendship. She wonders if Lilly knew that she wasn't the only one that felt betrayal. She wonders if Lilly knew her tough skin didn't just come from losing her mother. She wonders if Lilly knows the worst punishment wasn't that she was parading Logan around but it was losing her. She wonders if Lilly's ever regretted not having her around anymore.

"Do you regret letting her have Logan?"

"That wasn't my choice to make. You can't let someone have someone else," Veronica tries to explain. "People aren't possession. It was his choice to make no matter what the circumstances. I liked him back then but if he hadn't made all of the choices that he's made, experienced all of these things that led him up to me, would he still be this person that I've come to love wholeheartedly?"

Heather stares up at her sister with unwavering awe in her big hazel eyes. "You love him?"

"I really do," Veronica nods, a little smile curling in place and it's the first time that she's admitted out lout that she loves Logan and it feels so much different that thinking it. It feels so much more real. "I think that whatever choice you make, you're gonna be okay," she assures her sister. "You're really smart and you're really tough and you've got me no matter what."

Heather nods, appreciating her sister's words and wanting to know more because it feels like she's finally been let into this trust circle with this boy talk. "Did you tell him that you love him?"

Veronica shakes her head no. She doesn't explain that she's afraid of being honest because of her own insecurities. She doesn't explain how often she forgets that other people exist and finds herself falling more in love with him. She doesn't explain how the person she loves might still love someone else.

"I think he loves you too," Heather says with depth Veronica can't believe she's hearing. "He looks at you a lot, Ronica," she adds with an insightful look in her eye. "When you're not paying attention. He looks at you to see if you're having a good time."

"He does?" She blinks in surprise, the observation from her little sister makes her fluttery.

Heather nods and Veronica's lips curve into a silly smile. She loves him and the possibility that he loves her back makes her feel warm and glowy inside. She thinks that maybe it's time for her to be honest about her feelings, to finally take a chance and give him all the love that consumes her. She doesn't want him to be another what if in her life. She doesn't want him to be the one that got away. She doesn't want him being her fake boyfriend anymore. She wants the real thing. She wants to share all her real firsts with him and be loved in return. She wants to give herself this chance that she's always denied herself from having. She wants him. She wants Logan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Why would you want to be a letter that's only worth two points in scrabble?" This line is from the series Fresh off the Boat.


	29. Chapter 29

****"You ready to go?" Logan asks, his voice soft and his eyes focused as he stretches out his hand, open palm, waiting for her to close the gap between them.

She takes his hand, half nod and she's about to give him a quite _yeah_ when Heather squishes herself between them, brightly suggesting that they all end the night with one final ride; the Ferris wheel.

Heather's wide eyes and pearly white smile throw _not-so-subtle_ hints at her big sister. Veronica sends Logan an awkward smile as she pretends to have no clue about what _that's_ all about.

Naturally, Heather's excitement hits one of many soft spots Logan has for the Mars clan and he indulges her, dragging the crew along.

Veronica stuffs her hands in her jacket pockets, Logan's striding ahead to buy tickets for those who don't have unlimited passes and she finds her hands feeling rather cold without Logan's natural heat to keep her warm.

She knows what Heather is doing; she's trying to create this romantic and magical moment that falls somewhere between the twinkling lights that illuminate through the dark, the cold air that forces snuggles in the tight knit space as they circle the air and ponder about how beautiful things look from high up above.

Veronica supposes if they were a normal couple it wouldn't be such a bad opportunity to profess true love and share a kiss from the top of the Ferris wheel but it's not as simple as that and Veronica doesn't know how to explain it all to Heather.

She needs time because this isn't as easy as a girl admitting she loves a boy that she's dating. It's a girl admitting that she loves a boy who might still be in love with someone else and she's scared of how this is going to change things between them despite the reassurance she's had.

She knows Heather is going to be disappointed in her when she hops off the ride and she says that she couldn't do it - she could lie but she's lied enough and it's haunting her in ways she didn't think about when this all started.

She notices Heather clinging to Ophelia, hands hooked around each other while the boys chatter beside them.

She's taken to a time when she'd laughed the night away with Lilly's arm hooked on hers, clear of any vindication.

Heather gives an awkwardly pained smile when Ryan speaks and Veronica feels her heart ache because she remembers all too well how she'd tightened her smile, held back her tears and congratulated her best friend for dating the boy that she liked. It broke her heart but it was okay because the sound of her best friend's happiness was louder than the sound of her heart breaking - until it wasn't, until her best friend was gone and she could hear the sound of her crying heart way too loud and way too clear.

The line is short - people are leaving so it doesn't take long for them to get seated. Logan comes to stand beside her, his hand going to her waist as he brings her closer to him and it's ridiculous how a small act from him makes her heart beat a little faster.

He gives her a small smile and she thinks maybe he has nerves of his own because he shoves his hands away in his pocket. She wants to complain that it's not that she minded his hand on her side but it's just that she liked it maybe a bit too much. She stays silent - her hands still in her own pockets as she sees Ophelia push Heather to go ahead with Ryan who's already seated in the ride.

Ophelia smiles, giving Heather a sly thumbs up, Heather looks confused and panicked like she wants to object and trade places. It's too late because the attendant is moving to seat the next pair and Veronica catches Ophelia's look; she doesn't look like she's sad or pained or faking happy as she hops onto the seat next to Darrell. It makes her wonder what exactly made Heather think she shared the same crush as her best friend.

Wallace gets into the next seat wearing his boyish grin with Georgia beside him. Veronica softly smiles because she's grateful that Wallace is a person in her life, that he's her best friend and a person that she can wholeheartedly trust. She's never really had a person like him in her life before. She may have regrets about her past but she doesn't actually want to regret anything leading up to her cutting him down from that flagpole.

Logan's hand is back on her waist, urging her forward and she realizes then that they're up next. She gives an apologetic smile to the attendant, moves along and settles herself as Logan comes in after her.

"You okay?" He asks, they're not exactly moving yet - just the light jolt so the next couple can be seated - and she silently nods her head.

The ride starts slowly, not picking up much speed after the initial momentum. The air is chilled against her skin and her blonde waves fly back like she's a heroine in a movie that the boy would inevitably fall in love with.

It's dark - obviously because it's night time - but there's calmness in the dark that simply doesn't exist during the day.

"Hey, Logan?" She says, breath hitching as she looks at the people walking, rides spinning and how the colours wisp into blurry brightness.

"Hmm?" He hums, hands casually flung over the metal bar as his eyes redirect to her.

She half turns her head to him. Leaning on her shoulder, hair flying back and her eyes soft as she looks at him. "Thank you," she lets out, airy but just loud enough for him to hear.

"For what?" He wants to know, shifting his position to get closer to her.

She doesn't really know how to explain why she's saying thank you because it's a combination of things that could send her on a monologue that's longer than this ride. So she offers him a half smile and repeats the words he'd said to her the night before, "For caring about me."

She's not sure if those words are enough to describe all that she's thankful for but it's all she has for now.

"Always, Mars," he grins, playfully bumping her shoulder. He wants to say he's never stopped caring but he doesn't have any right to so he's made silent promises to remedy that fact. All he cares about is her and he hopes that she can see that.

She cracks a smile, leaning into him as they enjoy the ride - it's not so much romantic as it is calming and she knows that there's no one else she'd rather be next to right now than him.

* * *

Backup leaps up to them when they come home, he's wagging his tail and nuzzling his face in their hands. Heather's overjoyed by the welcome, Veronica scratches his ears and coos at what a good boy he is, Logan smiles and is surprised when the dog welcomes him so warmly especially when Heather and Veronica are barely a few feet away. Logan pats him, mimicking Veronica's actions, he scratches Backups ears and coos that Backup is the good boy.

Keith has the TV on and pizza boxes sprawled on the coffee table. He's clad in his Sheriff's uniform, standing behind the sofa as he gets ready to leave for the night shift.

"You got pizza without us," Heather gasps, fully offended and runs to pick a slice.

"Wash your hands first," Veronica calls, warningly and her sister halts in position before running to the kitchen.

"I assumed you'd stuff yourself with corn dogs and fries," Keith dryly remarks, knowing full well just how much they liked eating at the carnival.

"Pizza is the dessert of all foods. There's always space," Heather argues as she bites into the now barely room temperature pizza slice.

Keith chuckles, lightly shaking his head. "I need to get to work. You kids have fun. And Logan, by eleven Veronica will be shaking your hand at the door as you head out," he warns, brows arched with a pointed look.

"Yes, sir," Logan salutes.

"Stay safe, daddy-O-7," Veronica chirps.

"Always am," he assures, dropping a kiss on Veronica's head.

"Bye, daddy," Heather says, giving him a peck on the cheek. "Have a good day at work."

"Thanks, kiddo," he lightly ruffles Heather's hair. "Don't forget no boyfriends in the house past 11," he aims at Veronica. "No matter how much you like 'em," he says to both Heather and Backup.

Backup wags his tail happily while Heather hums in acknowledgement of his words. Keith bops the little Mars on her nose and she chuckles lightly as he leaves.

* * *

 

They're watching Easy Rider because it's one of Logan's favourites and Veronica kinda likes the way he grins when he notices that they're showing it on TV.

He's giving her tidbits about the movie, off-screen accords and quoting his favourite lines as they're being said and she's not sure why she's surprised but he's even more of a dork than she'd thought and she kinda falls a little bit more in love with him.

Heather's asleep half way into the movie; lightly snoring, exhausted into the pile of cushions that she'll deny in the morning.

It's only when the movie is over that they take her into her room, Logan carries her and Veronica tucks her in.

She thanks him, again, this time mostly for helping get Heather to bed. They're in the kitchen, he's sipping on water - leaning on the counter like he belongs there. She's across him, leaning and she can't help but wonder what he thinks of her leaning. Is her leaning as thought worthy as his leaning? Because she still has memories from the first time he was in her kitchen.

She bites her lip, tilting her head and she watches him as he talks. He's all soft smiles and warm hands and adoring eyes and how could she not have seen that nobody's ever looked at her the way he looks at her?

It's not enough that she wants him, she needs to tell him, needs him to know about her all consuming feelings for him and that this contractual agreement is so much more than keeping boys in check for her and she knows that she's more than just a _means_ to make Lilly jealous but she wonders if his feelings for her has surpassed the _need_ to make Lilly jealous.

She wonders if he knows how he's looking at her and how his hands feel against her skin - igniting warmth and shivers and happy little dancing butterflies.

She's got nerves riding through her veins and her heart trashes against her chest like there's a volcano in her that's waiting to erupt, she wonder if he notices how badly she wants to leap in his arms.

"Veronica?"

Her eyes snap to his and her thought fades to black. She's biting her lips and maybe it's night courage but she feels brave because he's here, he's looking at her, and he's saying her name in warm whispers that makes her name feel like the holy grail.

She kisses him, her hands riding up his neck and her body pressing up against his. He's leaning so deeply into her, hands tightly wound on her waist - he doesn't want to let go.

She pushes into him, tilting her head so she can feel more of him. She wants him to feel all of her. She wants him to know that this is real.

When their lips break apart, she pulls closer to him, out of breath, his eyes dipping down and focusing on her and hers flickering up to meet his.

He sees it all in her eyes but he's afraid that her words may betray the moment they're in so he doesn't wait for her to question or excuse this kiss - he doesn't see any possible reason she could give except that this is as real to her as it's been for him.

He's kissing her again, hard and long, wanting her to realize just how much he wants her. He's holding her so tightly against him - so afraid to let go and have this moment disappear because the truth is that he could live forever standing by Veronica's counter kissing her like it's the end of time.

His forehead leans on hers and she's chuckling, he hopes it's a good sign - a sign that she gets that this goes beyond everything they've excused it to be.

"Veronica?" He breaths out, his eyes try to focus on hers but her lips are so pulp and pursed so close to his. He wants to just kiss her again but he needs words. She's trying to catch her breath, so focused on his lips, he can feel her want for him as she inches closer, tiptoeing and leaning into him. Her eyes flicker to his when he says her name and he's holding her steady against him and he just wants her to say one word. "This is real, right?"

She's so close to him, nose lightly grazing his, lips close enough to kiss. "Do you want it to be?"

He responds by tightening his hold on her and dipping his head down to kiss her. He whispers against her lips, "I more than want."

Her lips break into a smile, a light chuckle of escapes her mouth and he's grinning, open mouthed and bright eyed as he stares at her.

"I do too," she admits, softly. "I like you, Logan Echolls and not in a fake way."

He chuckles, so relieved and happy. He didn't know it was possible for his heart to feel this full. "I'm in love with you, Veronica Mars."

"You're what?" She's smiling impossibly wide and she's sure she has heart shapes in her eyes but it doesn't really matter because Logan loves her and for once in her life she might actually be letting happiness in instead of locking the door on it.

He's smiling and leaning and letting her find the truth of his words in his kiss. She's the only one he wants, she's been the only one for a long time now.

She's sinking into him, she's feeling things she's never felt before all at once and she's lost in the feeling of his hands behind her neck, lightly tugging on her hair while his tongue slips passed her lips.

He grins, kissing her check and her temple and she's arching into him, wanting everything he's giving her.

"I should go now," he says, reluctant but necessary. He's feeling too much right now in the brick of the night with the girl that he loves finally in his arms, kissing him with just as much passion and want as he has for her.

It's almost eleven, he knows without a doubt that her father is going to call and check if he's gone or not and he really doesn't want to get carried away with Veronica.

She nods, still holding onto him. "So how do we do this? What do you put in a contract - "

He chuckles, shaking his head, dipping down and giving her a light kiss. "You gotta trust," he whispers.

Her eyes close as he kisses her forehead. "So are you picking me up for school tomorrow?"

"Yeah," he lets out through a light chuckle.

"You're not contractually obligated anymore," she points out, biting her lip, a bit teasing and a little bit insecure. She's not sure how to actually _do_ relationships.

He shrugs, still smiling and staring at her with adoration. "I like being the first one that sees you in the morning."

She's chuckling, face burying in his chest and he holds her, breathing in the scent of her mixed with the scent of carnival chaos - they stay like that for a few minutes before he leaves and Logan realizes just how dangerous it is to kiss Veronica Mars for real.


	30. Chapter 30

_Dear Veronica,_

_Kissing you feels like the start of a new season, the sun in the early morning, and moonlight reflecting on the ocean. There is never a moment that I don’t think about your lips and how they make me feel when they are on mine._

_I wish I were kissing you instead of just writing about it._

_\- L_

_P.S. You look beautiful today. You always do._

Veronica’s grin breaks through her face as she reads the note again and again. She bites her lip, grinning and embraces the feeling of being the absolute giddy teenage girl that she's come to be.

She’d fallen asleep with a smile the night they'd admitted to wanting them to be real and she'd been falling asleep smiling ever since with memories of his lips on hers and his confession of love playing in her mind. Logan Echolls really should come with a warning label and a list of side-effects; it's barely been a week and she feels addicted.

They’re in Journalism class when he slips her his note, he’s talking to Dick – hands wild and grin blazing as he talks about the upcoming surf competition they’re both sure to participate in when she reads the little poem he’s found for her. She softly smiles as he chatters on and she decidingly puts pen to paper.

_Dear Logan,_

_things that fall_

_petals_

_tear drops_

_snowflakes_

_rain_

_stars_

_tides_

_eyelids_

_time_

_shadows_

_leaves_

_the sun_

_and I,_

_for you._

She’d seen this little snippet at a time when she'd thought her love unrequited. Ever since Logan had come back into her life and re-familiarised himself with her heart every little love poem, sappy quote, meaningful lyric became about him.

She’d never thought she’d actually share them with him but she hasn't responded to his notes before and she finds herself wanting to know if he'll smile at her note like she does at his.

She glances at his note, biting down on her lip and continues to write.

_I love the way I feel when your lips are on mine._

_\- V_

_P.S. I wish you were kissing me too._

She folds it up, inks his name on the outside like he does with hers and lets it sit beneath her book as she waits for him to return to his seat beside her.

She hasn't actually given anyone a love note before. She's written her letters but those were just for her and she hadn't been the one to send them out - she didn't get the chance to feel the anticipation brim up inside her as the letters ventured out into the hands of the objects of her once affections.

She thinks that she could slip the note into his book and wait for him to open it but he's Logan and chances are he'll snark his way through class until the bell rings without opening his book. She could slip it into his pocket like he's done before but she doesn't think she can pull it off in the suave way that he can. She could let it sit in his locker but she wants him to see it as soon as possible because her nerves are building as the note sleeps under her hard cover book.

He spins himself into his seat as Ms Dent begins to talk about layouts and interviews and things that Veronica should be listening to but can't seem to care about; she's got her on-going assignment and she knows she's not going to be asked to submit anything else along with it.

Her eyes find his brown ones between the chaos of their classmates negotiating on their assigned pieces. They're next to each other but not close enough to be touching

It's become devastatingly difficult to not touch him because she wants to feel his skin under the tips of her fingers and she wants to let herself fall in a spell of his fingers against her skin. Her body aches with the memory of his fingers on her neck and his lips on her jaw and it wants more.

She bites on her bottom lip and his eyes are immediately drawn south to her coloured lips that's peach, glossy and sweet - she thinks of his note and how he wishes he were kissing her - she finds herself looking at his lips too.

He looks like he wants to say something, whisper something to her, let his fingers touch her skin but he stays silent and tries to refocus, taking deep breaths and she knows that he's thinking about the four minute heated make out session they had in his car before they had to enter school this morning.

She sucks in a breath and leans closer to him. He moves forward, meeting her half way and she holds out her note for him between two fingers like it's something she's casually doing and she hopes it hides how much thought she's put into the simple act of passing him a little note - an act he's able to do everyday without a second thought.

She doesn't feel too confident about how she gave him the note, her body is jittery and she needs to turn away because his eyes are smouldering and his lips are looking as kissable as ever.

He looks surprised and soft and gentle and happy and she doesn't understand how his name sprawled on a folded side of the piece of paper incites so much of feeling into his brown eyes.

She looks away as he opens her note because as much as she wants to see his reaction to her words, her heart is beating a bit too fast and she's not sure if she can handle seeing his smouldering eyes without kissing him right here in the middle of class.

The minutes drag on to what seems like forever and the moment class is over he pulls her into the girls bathroom, slapping her out of order sign on the door - once again making use of the little red warning sign she initially only used for investigative purposes.

She's propped up on the bathroom counter, legs wrapped around his waist and his mouth on hers - hard, long, needy kisses.

Their hands are tangled around one another, grasping for closeness as they squeeze in their need for each other in the five very short minutes they have until their next class.

They haven't had time to be alone since their confession of wanting their relationship to be real. She's had soccer practice and Heather shaped obligations she's taken on while he's getting ready for surf competitions and accompanying his mother to formal events she'd rather not be alone at. The only time she's gotten to see him when he picks her and Heather up for school, at school and when he drops them home.

All they've had this week were stolen kisses between hours, brushing of hands as they go their separate ways coupled with heated glances from across the hallway. And Logan's little notes. Notes that flame the fires within her and make her feel the ache of not having him to herself now when he's finally hers to have.

They're late to their next class and Veronica's grateful for the tardy slips she's kept from months ago.

* * *

It's Friday night and there's parties being thrown and appearances needed to be made but Veronica's home baking last minute cookies for Heather and her friends because she's written sleepover on Meg's to-do board that's hung on the side of the fridge and her dad is still working the night shift so she's got supervision duties.

She's working fast, shaping up cookies and baking them as quick as she possibly can. Her hair is a mess, the kitchen is a mess and the once neatly organized planner board is a mess. She remembers Heather swooning about Nutella filled crepes and fruit filled crepes and dozens of other homemade options that she'd had at her last slumber party because Lauren's mother is a perfectionist. Meg's never let them feel disappointment over not having something other kids had, she worked hard at cultivating fancy dishes and napkins and organizing entertainment. Veronica wasn't about to be the one that damaged her sister's childhood.

"Ronica? Are you done yet?" Heather asks, tilting her head as she throws her bag on the side of the couch. "I need to be at Ophelia's in like thirty minutes so we have a bit of time before the sleepover."

Veronica's brows furrow, still working on the cookies, trying to be fast and diligent at the same time. "Why doesn't she come over here? I mean wouldn't that be easier?"

Her sister shoots her a quizzical look, plopping on a bar stole and stealing a bit of cookie dough. "Uhm no, we're staying over at her place, I told you this last week."

"Wait," Veronica stops, hands resting on the counter top as she looks at her sister in her eyes. "The sleepover isn't here?"

"No," Heather shakes her head, oblivious to her sister's incredulous expression as she licks her fingers. "Why would you think that?"

"Because," the older Mars blows out. "The board. Sleepover," she says and wants to hit her head for not being specific enough. She sighs. "Let's wait for this batch to be done, it'll take ten minutes more to bake and you can take it with you to Ophelia's."

Heather beams, bright eyes and toothy grin. "Thanks, Ronica."

She gives her sister a soft smile before she asks, "So are you and Ophelia good? I mean, did you talk to her?"

"I didn't have to," the little girl starts her story. "I saw Ophelia give Ryan her red balloon. She loves balloons. She wouldn't even let me have a balloon and I'm her best friend."

Veronica's brows furrow as she continues to stare at her little sister. "Because you always pop your balloons. It's like you're a human cactus."

Heather shoots her a glare. "Whatever. You don't understand how it looked under the sunset sky and the two of them smiling at each other. And she told him that she likes him."

"Were you spying on them?" Veronica asks, brow arched and tries to put on a disapproving face - she either fails or Heather doesn't take notice.

"I was observing my friends from a distance," the little blonde reasons.

"Uh-huh. Heather -"

Her sister doesn't let her finish as she continues with her story, "It's only after we went on the Ferris Wheel and Ryan gave me the red balloon that I realized that Ophelia was only trying to help him because she liked him as a friend."

"He gave it to you? I didn't see you with a balloon."

"Because it got popped," Heather tells her, sighing loudly like she misses the balloon. "Ophelia knew it would too. She thought it might break the ice between us, give us something to laugh at because I get nervous around him," she explains everything so quickly that Veronica almost doesn't catch the end bit but thankfully she's trained herself to be an attentive listener.

"Heather Mars, nervous?" Veronica clunks her tongue with the roof of her mouth. She looks at her sister nostalgically and says, "You're growing up way too fast."

* * *

She texts Logan about her change of plans when she gets home from dropping Heather off. He doesn't ask her to come to the party with him, she doesn't really want to go but she feels disappointed that he doesn't offer because she does want to spend time with him even if it means sharing him with his friends.

She turns on her music, puts her apron back on, starts to finish off making the cookies and tries to let go of her woes for the night.

It's when she's cleaning up the mess she's made in the kitchen that she hears the unexpected chime of the door bell. Grinning before her, clad in a green shirt and blue jeans is her brown eyed, snarky and hot mouthed boyfriend.

"Hey," he lets out, soft and needy and she honestly wasn't expecting him to be here at her doorstep tonight.

"Hey," she breaths out, head tilted slightly, curious eyes and appreciative smile because she's happy that he's here. She missed him.

"Kiss the Baker," he reads, trademark smirk on his lips, looking at her with twinkling eyes as he comes in.

She closes the door behind him and gives him a curious look, he pointedly gestures to her apron with his brows and she chuckles, rolling her eyes.

He moves in closer to her, eyes set on hers as his arms come to wrap around her waist. "Who am I to deny the embedded command of the apron makers?"

She chuckles, teasing grin falling on her lips as she stares up at him with equal playfulness. Her arms snake up his sides and she adds, "You wouldn't want to upset them."

"Mm," he bops her nose with his before leaning in and whispering, "I wouldn't want that."

She sucks in slightly when his warm breath lingers on her lips before he closes the gap between them, capturing her lips with his in a sweet, sensual kiss.

He smiles, breaking from her before it got too deep. "Is that cookies I smell?"

She doesn't answer him, instead she moves her hands to his neck and pulls him back down to her, kissing him deeper and longer than their initial kiss. He has no qualms taking her into his arms and falling into the their kiss or the kisses that follow.

It feels good to not be in a race against time, they're on her couch when Veronica finds herself glancing at the clock. She knows that Casey Gant's party has already started so she asks Logan about it and all he does is inaudibly mumble against her skin and she can't help but chuckle in response. "I thought you wanted to go to the party?"

He nuzzles his nose into her hair and murmurs into her skin, "Not tonight. It's been too long since I've hand my Veronica full. I want to be selfish with you for a little bit longer."

He kisses her neck, lightly sucking careful to not leave a mark - not that he doesn't want to but he knows it'll be awkward for her and he doesn't want to put her in that position.

She aches into him at his words, lightly nods, his lips now pepping shoulder kisses as she airs out, "I didn't want to go to the party anyway."

He smiles against her neck, his nose pressing hard against her and she doesn't know why his nose of all parts of his body but it does.

She pulls back slightly, nudging his head up with her hands and kissing him senselessly. She's so filled with want and need and uncharted desire that she doesn't really know what to do with it. She just knows that she wants to kiss him until their lips are swollen and numb to the point where they can't kiss anymore.

Her lips find his neck, she peps kisses like he had done for her and he moves his neck easily to accommodate her. Her kisses line up to his jaw before she finds her way back to the crook of his neck and lightly sucks and bites. He groans, his neck leaning into her with force she hasn't felt before and she likes it. She wants him to do that more, make noises and press his body tighter against her.

He pulls away, capturing her face with his hands, he brings her mouth to his, kissing her fully and pouring his need into her. Their eyes are closed as they lean into each other, gasping silently for air between their long drawn kisses.

Her throat feels dry and the house is quiet reminding her of how alone they are. "Do you wanna go upstairs?" She means to be suggestive but she doesn't really know how to be especially not when he's pressed against her like this and she's melting into his touch. She thinks that the suggestion is obvious enough given the context of their position.

He leans in harder into her before bowing out. "I don't think that's a good idea," he breaths out.

"Oh," she lets out, disappointing breaking through the silence.

He tightens his hold on her, silently begging for her to not misunderstand him. "I don't want us to move too fast," he tries to explain, he's never had to have this particular conversation before but he often finds himself getting lost in the taste of Veronica and it takes everything in him to break away. They're alone in this house but he knows the sanctity of the couch will preserve him some limitations that her bedroom doesn't offer. He doesn't want her to regret him.

She nods her head against him, insecurity rattling it's way up her spine and he wants to assure her but his methods come in ways that he doesn't think she's ready for so he takes a minute and tries to gather his words. He holds onto her, letting his touch assure her until his words can.

"I want you so much, Veronica," he finally whispers against the silence. "I don't want to ruin us by being too selfish."

"How is it selfish if I want you too?" She whimpers out against him. She doesn't know what she's promising. She wants his skin against hers. She wants him in her arms and she wants his mouth on her lips, her neck and everywhere his hands touch. He makes her want more but she's not sure what exactly more is yet.

He whispers his love against her skin and she revels in the glory that it brings. He doesn't move them to her room and she's silently relieved because she finds herself wanting more than she's ready for and she's not sure how he knows but she's thankful that he does.

They switch on a movie, wrapped in each other, fingers caressing skin and kisses in between snarky remarks. It's calmer than before and it feels good to just be in his arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Kissing you feels like the start of a new season, the sun in the early morning, and moonlight reflecting on the ocean. There is never a moment that I don’t think about your lips and how they make me feel when they are on mine.” – Courtney Peppernell, Pillow Thoughts.
> 
> “Things that fall” – I’m not sure who wrote it, I saw it on Pinterest and thought it was cute. Does anyone know where this is from?


	31. Chapter 31

Saturday comes in the form of morning waves, sun kissed skin and Logan shaped day dreams as she enjoys the sight of him riding his surfboard from the shore. She's got her reading material for English on hand but her minds on him - lately, it's always on him.

Wallace flies his airplane and Georgia basks in the morning light beside her. It’s the feeling of ambivalence that takes over her when she’s surrounded by the familiarity of her weekly routine and the new sensations of warmth and smiles that come along with having someone to call your own.

He walks across the beach, wet hair, wet suit, wet everything and she stares - openly as she eyes him. He chuckles from across her, bashfully running a hand through his wet hair as he carries his board to the spot in front of her.

Her eyes are bright and her smile is wide when he leans down and kisses her flush on the mouth. She loves the unreserved contractless affection that he showers her with, she wonders if this is the honeymoon period that people often talk about or if this feeling is simply that of Logan.

* * *

They're in Java the hurt, sitting side by side on the leather covered booth. studying for physics. Between questions, she’ll recite Newton’s laws and he grins, wanting desperately to kiss her. He tries to restrains for as long as he can - which feels like hours even though the clock depicts otherwise.

His fingers graze hers, she’s warm and soft and so close that he doesn’t understand how his smarty ass girlfriend expects him to study when she’s puckering her lips and whispering laws in the sexiest way possible.

He’s sure if she had to take the test right now she’ll ace it so he doesn’t exactly feel guilt when he idly puts his arm around her, starts twirling her hair around his pencil and lets it unfurl like a gracious slice of ribbon. Her eyes stay focused on her textbook, letting him do as he pleases and he inches closer.

He's given up any pretense of studying, she smells as good as she always does and it's still amazing to him that he can touch her, kiss her and love her. And what amazes him the most is that she’s letting him.

He leans into her, pressing a small kiss on her shoulder, and she shifts as she lets herself lean into him - a part of her desperately wants to touch him and another part of her wants to finish up this chapter. He doesn’t make her resolve to study easy especially when she feels him planting a warm kiss on her neck.

She closes her eyes for a second, leaning her head into him and she can feel herself caving into his will but there's tests and public places that she can so easily forget about so she adds some much needed distance between them. 

"I can't concentrate when you do that," she admits, eyes still locked on the books laid out in front of her.

He grins, scooting closer to her and nuzzling his nose on her neck and whispers, "You smell so good."

She groans, grasping tightly to the pencil in her hand and wills herself to stay strong against his advances. "Logan," she lets out, it comes out more airy than stern like she intended.

His forehead comes to hers, his grin grows, and he mimics, "Veronica."

She can't help the smile that slips out, her nose touches his and she lightly shakes her head. "If you promise to study for the next hour then we can do whatever you want after."

There it is; fully blown out grin on his face and happy eyes. She laughs, finding him impossibly beautiful in this moment. She breaks away from him, still smiling as her eyes drift to her books but her impending promise drives the butterflies and it's hard to concentrate on the gravitational force of the earth when the gravitational force of Logan only continues to grow stronger.


	32. Chapter 32

“Kissing you feels so good,” she whispers; she’s on his lap in the backseat of his X-Terra, eyes closed, hands circled around his neck with her fingers caressing his hair and her nose pressed against his as he takes a self-restraining breath before he presses his open mouthed smile against her skin.

She leans into him, enjoying the feeling of his hot mouth against her soft skin. “Try not to leave marks, okay?” She breathes out; he bobs his head slightly at her request, silently understanding her concern. She loves when he nips at her skin, it’s the aftermath of red and purple hickeys that she’s cautious about.

He’d accidentally given her a hickey on her neckline during one of their make-out sessions; they’d been too engrossed in each other to think about love marks left behind but scarves are a god sent gift that do well to deceive fathers with shotguns. Ever since, she tries to remind him about marks and he tries to resist his urges to suck too hard on her.

He expressed his desire to want to leave little marks on her where no one but him could see and her breath had hitched at the thought of his mouth against her thigh, breast and skin in between. She whimpered and wished she could feel his teeth against her instead of his whispered promises of it.

She adds slightly more pressure into her movements against him, she wants to feel more of Logan and she wants to hear his grunts, growls and huffs that vibrate against her body. She especially likes the gravelly sound of his cusses that he tries not to let out but fails to more often than not. She loves that she affects him to the point that he can’t help himself.

She can’t deny that his reaction to her simple strokes, kisses and closeness gives her the biggest of ego boosts. There’s a part of her that wants to tease him to the point that he loses control but she wonders if she’ll be able to stop them from going further if he doesn’t – she’s grown to be so comfortable with him in ways she’s never imagined herself to be with anyone before.

Her mouth goes to his, holding the kiss for a long moment before breaking apart and letting her head fall to his neck. Her teeth graze his skin before she starts sucking and his head presses against hers, she’s not sure if he’s encouraging her or stopping her but he doesn’t pull back so she takes it as the former and continues.

His breathing staggers, moving her lower and lets her mouth fall to his shoulder. “God, V’ronica,” he blows out, trying to control his haggard breathing. “You’re killing me here,” he airily laughs out, tilting her head up to meet his as he kisses her cheek.

She chuckles and lets her forehead rest against his; kissing Logan is something she loves but she adores it when they’re giggling in closeness, warmth and soft snarky whispers. She wants this and everything else Logan Echolls has to offer her and she knows that he feels the same. It’s a powerful feeling to know someone wants you as much as you want them and she’s never before had the certainty of anyone’s feelings for her like she has with Logan and she hopes that he feels the appreciation she has for his consistency in her life.

* * *

“Apples are good,” Logan suggests as they make their way down the fruit aisle. 

She’s promised Meg that she’d get Heather to eat more healthy snacks rather than her stuffing herself with baked goods and  _store bought junk_. She hopes it’s a promise she can keep considering that she hasn't exactly perfected the healthy living lifestyle herself.

“An apple a day, you know?” He quips, grin barring as he bobs his head. She already knows that it’s his preferred fruit and she doesn’t really need convincing considering it’s the most basic of fruit and it tastes good. “Green apples,” he decides, reaching for the stacked packet and looks at her for her approval.

She chuckles lightly, nodding her head in easy agreement; her hands are on the fairly empty trolley as he obligingly drops the packet into it. “Avocados?” She tilts her head, eyeing the fat green fruit. 

His lip tweaks upward as he studies it, “Good fats. High calories." His eyes squint, his fingers press into the hardness of the fruit and he shakes his head. “Not preferred.”

“Good on toast,” she weighs in and he gives her an unconvinced look. "It is," she insists, picking up two of the avocados and slots it into the plastic packets provided for loose fruit.

"I doubt Heather would eat it," he snorts, moving across to the wall chiller and picks up two plastic boxes, one filled with peaches and the other filled with plums.

Veronica pushes the trolley forward, taking along her selected fruit as she tells him, “If she thinks I like it enough to not want to share with her then she’ll eat it.”

His brows crinkle at her and she shakes her head at his disbelieve. “For a long time she was convinced that raisins were my absolute favorite and that she couldn’t have more than her share of it.

“Raisins are nature’s candy,” he shrugs, subtly defending the little girl.

Veronica snorts, chortling. “I hate raisin, the only reason she ate them is because once she knows something has value to you, she finds it incredibly appealing.” Veronica lightly shakes her head, memories of little Heather filling her mind. “She hoarded them and I was just grateful someone else was eating them,” she chuckles. “She was probably the most regular kid in kindergarten."

He laughs, shaking his head. He’s about to retort, she can see it at the tip of his tongue but his face bleaches and he looks like he’s about to gag. She follows his line of sight, trying to help him and notices that he’s backing away from the pile of pears. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he tries a smile as he furthers down the aisle, away from the pears and to the pomegranates. 

“Are you also allergic to pears?” Her brows furrow with confusion as she stares after him.

He shakes his head, eyes down as he examines the red fruit in his hand. “Just bad experiences,” he dismisses. He tosses the red round fruit in his hand up like it’s a ball and catches it. She rounds the trolley to him; he can see the concern on her face so he offers as explanation, “Ate a whole lot once and puked it all up.”

She arches a brow; he’s shook off his nausea off and turns to her. “These are healthy. Think Heather would eat it?”

Veronica shrugs, letting the pears go even though she senses there’s more to the story and answers him, “Maybe if we told her the glory details about Persephone and Hades ‘cause she’s a sucker for things with stories to them.”

He softly chuckles, grabs a plastic packet of the reel and tries to open it up to stash in the fruit. He fumbles around with the transparent thin plastic packet and Veronica chuckles in amusement, grabbing the offending packet, rubs the edges of it together with her fingertips and pulls it apart for him to drop in the pomegranates. He fusses over the packet, complaining about it's ineffectiveness and she shakes her head, laughing and teasing him. 

She doesn't particularly blame him for not knowing since he hasn't exactly been grocery shopping before but it's amusing to tease him so she does and offers cheek kisses as her redemption. 

* * *

“So,” Logan starts over the music filling his X-Terra as they ride home. “Today’s the last day for the battle of the bands, right?”

Veronica hums, nodding along, eyes on the scenery as he drives and he bobs his head in accordance, quizzing, “So are you gonna talk to Lilly?”

“Talk to Lilly about what?” She asks, turning her head to peak at him.

“About why you guys stopped being friends," his eyes are still focused on the road as he answers.

Her brow crinkles and she wishes they could go a day without Lilly Kane coming up in conversation. “Logan," she sighs, trying to let go of the irritation within her as she reminds him, "Lilly and I have nothing to do with each other now.”

He glances at her, shaking his head as he argues, “She wouldn’t get so upset over you if she didn’t care about you.”

She lets out a disbelieving huff, there's this build up within her - one that's always seemed to bubble up when it came to Lilly Kane or more specifically when it came to the lost friendship between them.

“If Lilly cared about me," her voice hitches higher so she stops for a moment, trying to control her newly formed headache before she continues. "She should have tried harder to salvage our friendship instead of destroying it.”

“You know what she’s like when she’s upset," he says, trying to console her and pardon Lilly because he feels guilty - guilty that he's the reason that the two little girls who loved each other broke apart and he wants to try to glue the broken pieces back together because he knows that underneath all that anger they must still care about each other or else why does Lilly still orbit around Veronica when they're living in different worlds? And why does Veronica help Lilly when she’s not obligated to – when she’s claiming no relation and indifference?

“Right," Veronica grits, jaws clenched and she hates that Logan is defending Lilly to her, again. She hates that he's still on her side even after she's hurt him and treated him like a disposable toy. She hates that Lilly still has Logan's undying loyalty. "Well, forgive me Logan for not going crawling back to her like you do every time she’s being a bitch."

His eyes widen and his mouth opens in a silent gasp, he glances at her, stunned because he’s never heard her cuss before and she’s never snapped at him like that before. There’s a part of him that immediately wants to apologize for angering her even though he doesn’t understand why she’s angry. There’s another part of him that wants to defend himself, point out that he isn’t with Lilly and while they may be friends that doesn’t mean he’s _crawled_ back to her. He swallows, letting out a breath and tells her, “That was uncalled for.”

Her headache spreads and her face feels hot with anger like she's about to burst. She takes a breath, counting and calming herself as the music plays in the background of their prolonged silence.

Her eyes close, seconds pass, minutes pass and she finally breathes at a regular pace instead of deep calming breaths. “I don’t understand why you think that me knowing the reason behind her bad behavior should ignite reconciliation or motivate forgiveness in me," she explains, as calmly as she possibly can and he continues staring onto the road. He hadn't expected her to respond to him and he's not sure what he should say to her because he does think that but he doesn’t know how to explain it to her without her getting even more upset at him so he stays silent and focuses before he makes this worse.

She swallows, holding her feelings in as she tries to make him understand why she feels the way she does. "Do you even understand what losing my best friend did to me?" Her voice cracks despite her will to control it and he wants to cave, pull over and take her in his arms. "Why should I forgive someone who isn’t asking for forgiveness?" She asks; her voice quieter and focused as she stares at the road before them as well. "If she wanted to be friends with me then why hasn’t she asked me about it?" She lets out a breath and tries to explain but she doesn't know if her words would truly get Logan to understand her the way he seems to understand Lilly.

"She’s so consumed with her feelings that she never considered mine," her voice staggers and feels weak around the edges and she hates the vulnerability this still brings her. "All I thought about was hers. I don't know if I made the right choices or the wrong choices at twelve years old but I had good intentions. I truly wanted her to be happy. Even if I couldn't be," she shakes her head. "I knew I would get over my crush and I really didn't want to lose my best friend but she clearly didn't feel the same."

She lets out long sigh and turns to her boyfriend, hoping he understands her views on the subject. "It’s been five years, Logan. There’s nothing left to salvage," she swallows and tries to ignore the ever present ache in her heart. "If you wanna stay friends with the girl that broke your heart then go ahead but my heart has learned its’ lesson.”

His heart aches as she turns her head and looks out the window. He never realized how much their separation had affected Veronica. In his mind, all of the things she’s pointed out to him was just Lilly being Lilly. He’d long ago realized that it was unfair, he’d felt that he’d deserved however bad Lilly could make him feel but he knows with utmost certainty that Veronica doesn’t deserve any of that.

He doesn’t know what to say so he doesn’t say anything at all, he feels like crap for bringing about these emotions in her and he hopes she lets him make it up to her when they get to her house. He’ll suggest they watch South Park and offer to massage her feet; he likes the way she giggles when his fingers lightly graze under her feet. He’ll hold her close, whisper his love and apologies, and hopes that she’ll smile and let him kiss away the memories of her pain.

 


	33. Chapter 33

Veronica’s legs dangle back and forth of the counter, her eyes twinkling with amusement as she watches Logan layer bread with butter, roast beef, cheese, mayo, chili sauce, lettuce, tomato and onions.

“Logan Echolls, first grocery shopping and now preparing sandwiches,” she remarks, impressed with the amount of effort he’s putting into said sandwich.

He’s lips curve into a slight grin, he glances at her with an arched brow and quips, “Is that complaining I hear?”

She cocks her head, smiling before she shakes her head. “No, just, it’s nice.”

He hums, slicing the sandwich in half for her. “Anything to please m’lady,” he gives her a little bop on her nose as he hands her the plate, blinking his eyes with deliberation in a way that she can’t help but find adorable.

She giggles and puckers her lips to connect with his for a light peck. “Thank you,” she says, heart warm and content.

She’s never really lived this way before - being showered with affection as way of apology. It’s something her father used to do for her when she was upset; he’d make waffles, take her out for ice cream, put on dramatic puppet shows, anything for the sake of her smile. She’d thought it to be a parental thing - except she later realized that it was an expression of her father’s love that sadly wasn’t conditioned into every parent.

Even when she was used to the attention from her father, she was always kind of surprised by it because annoyance and anger came relatively easy growing up with two sisters and it’d become accustomed for anger to fade without apologies or understanding when it came to family. Her father was the exception and it seemed like Logan was slotting himself into that category too.

It’s strange having him do things for her specifically because he wants to apologize, show his appreciation and make her smile again. It’s the kind of strange that she finds herself falling more in love with because his effort really does make her feel special.

He snatches a bite from her sandwich and she holds it away from him playfully remarking that it’s hers. He giggles, happy that she’s enjoying the sandwich - it’s strange how much interest he’s taken in food since Veronica's come back in his life. She looks happy when he makes something with his own two hands for her to eat and he always feels a burst of pride at that - pride that he created this thing and pride that he makes her happy.

They snuggle up on the couch and watch South Park, she’s not upset anymore but she doesn’t stop him from continuing to appease her as his fingers press onto her feet and release tension she didn’t know she had.

* * *

It was the final day for the Battle of the Bands competition and Veronica looks forward to having her Saturdays completely to herself again - void of Lilly and hopefully more time with Logan. She’s become greedy for his attention which surprises her considering that she appreciates her alone time more than anyone she knows. It seems to work out in her favor since Logan loves giving her attention.

“Veronica Mars,” Lilly drawls out in the way only Lilly Kane seems to do. Veronica holds a tight smile, nodding her head in a polite greeting even though she’d rather ignore the heiress in front of her. She wishes she could brush pass her and have Lilly Kane not be more than an afterthought in her life.

“Lilly,” she casually acknowledges with a light bob of her head. “Have you managed to complete the interviews yet?”

Lilly groans, purposefully loud accompanied by an exaggerated eye roll. “Always with the work, work, work, work, work. Live a little, Veronica Mars,” she ends in a bright encouraging chirp that could suck Veronica in if she didn't know any better.

“I’d say you’re living enough for the both of us, Lils,” she snarks, throwing in the nickname that she’d once used so fondly as she gestures to the margarita already in Lilly’s hand.

“You know me, high on life,” she shrugs as though she’s the most blissful creature you’d ever meet. “You could learn a thing or two,” she throws in, pointedly as a cheeky grin braces her face. “Just ask Logan.”

His name on her lips bothers Veronica more than she’d ever admit and the implications grate on her; she clenches her jaw and restrains herself from partaking in Lilly’s game of war. 

“One drink, Veronica Mars, think you can handle it?” Lilly grins, tempting her and Veronica’s inclined to down the offered drink just to prove to Lilly that she can but she doesn’t, she declines with a pressed lip smile and Lilly’s eyes set into a hard glare.

“You’re not better than me, Veronica,” the heiress snaps and Veronica doesn’t understand how that simple, expected, rejection offended her.

“I never said that I was,” she defends herself. “Just because you’re angry doesn’t make every conclusion you come to true.”

Lilly’s eyes pierce at her as she towers over the petite blonde thanks to the strappy heels adding unnecessary inches for a teenage girl. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Veronica doesn’t back down, she raises her head, leaning forward because she’s done with Lilly thinking she can intimidate her. “It means that you exaggerate things in your head and think everyone is out to get you.”

“You know,” she backs away slightly, sighing as she takes control of her emotions. “Maybe they are,” her voice casually calm. “You’re beautiful, you’re the daughter of billionaire Jake Kane. You’re the girl every girl wants to be, the girl every guy wants to be with, right? You have everything you could ever want,” Veronica monologues out as Lilly stares, brows crinkled, lips straight lined as she waits for the point of it all. 

“So maybe you’re right to have trust issues but when it comes to me,” she looks straight into Lilly’s green eyes, casualness dropped in a split second. “You don’t have to worry,” she says, serious, cold and collected. “Because I don’t care about you, Lilly,” her lip twitches up, trying to control any and every emotion within her so she can carefully project her words. “Not anymore. All you are to me is just another 09er girl. So if you think I’m out to get you? You’re wasting your energy because frankly, my dear...” she does a half shoulder shrug. “You know the rest.”

The words feel like ice whiskey poured down her face but Lilly sucks in everything she feels - she tries to anyway but the bitterness slips pass like it always does. “You never cared to begin with,” she remarks, stalking away, heels clicking against the floor as Veronica’s brows crinkle with growing exasperation.

“You okay?” Duncan asks, coming around to perch himself up on the bar stool by the counter. “What was that about?”

“Lilly being Lilly,” Veronica tries to shrug it off. “You know what I don’t get? She’s the reason we are this way. Apparently, she’s upset that Logan kissed me when we were twelve.”

Duncan looks at her with surprise at this new piece of information. “Logan kissed you back then?”

She nods, continuing to explain herself, “Nothing ever happened after that and the kiss didn’t even make a difference because they ended up dating anyway.”

“This was back when you and Lil were still friends?” he confirms before ordering a soda for himself.

“Yeah, I mean she’s the reason I never told Logan how I felt about him back then. She’s the reason I pretended my first kiss didn’t happen. I wanted her to be with the boy she liked even if it meant that I couldn’t. And she has the audacity to say I never cared.”

Duncan watches her, seeing all the emotion coloring through her face and in all their years of being friends, Veronica has never talking about this. She'd always acted as though it was a distant memory that she wanted to forget. It surprises him that she's reacting this way, like she's trying to figure it all out.

“How did she find out about the kiss?” He asks, hoping to help her find the answers she clearly wants even though he knows she'll probably never admit it.

“I don’t know," she blows out, flashbacks to their childhood cloud her mind. "We were at Dick’s birthday party. I wasn't expecting Logan to kiss me but he'd done it after everyone had left.”

“Well,” he starts, albeit reluctantly. Veronica looks at him expectantly so he continues, “If she found out about it from someone that isn’t you, don’t you think she would think that you were hiding something? Wouldn’t she think that you were against her?”

“It’s not like any of that matters now,” Veronica concludes, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

“Are you sure?” He tilts his head at her. “Because it looks like it still does,” he says, taking a sip of his soda as Veronica stays silent, considering his words and wonders if it actually does.

 


	34. Chapter 34

"You're making it really easy to want more," she groans, light airy breaths on his neck.

He grins, lightly biting onto her creamy skin. "You're making it really hard not to want more," he whimpers, pressing against her, emphasizing his words.

She sucks in a breath, stuck between surprise and pride, her fingers curl into his hair and she kisses him with needy want and passion that's built up inside her.

They're waist deep in his swimming pool, her back against the wall, his fingers holding steady onto her naked waist and her hands firmly grasping at his tanned shoulders.

His nose nuzzles against hers, her eyes close and her lips form this smile that reminds her of what a giddy mess he turns her into.

They hold each other for a few moments, trying to catch their breath and calm down which proves to be incredibly difficult when they're a breath away, skin against skin, and have the entire house to themselves.

He tucks away damp stay hair from her face, cupping her cheek and smiles at her when she opens her blue eyes.

He leans in, nose brushing past her jaw and lips grazing against her earlobe as he whispers, "I like you all wet."

Her body flushes with warmth as she aches against him and she tries to get the dryness out of her throat. She drops an open mouthed kiss onto his shoulder, lightly biting on his skin before pulling away and she lets out, "Then we should do this more often, don't you think?"

He sucks in a breath, pushing away from her and shakes his head. "You're killing me, Mars."

She chuckles, watching him with amusement as he moves further away, going in for a dive, away from the wall - away from her. She sinks into the water, watching him swim laps and she can't deny the disappointment at the loss of contact.

She knows it's because of her that he's pushing himself away and holding himself back but she doesn't really want that. She knows she's not completely ready but she needs more than heavy make out sessions because her feelings for him consume her in ways she's never felt before and she needs to let it out before she bursts into flames.

She allows herself to be fully engulfed in water before she joins him in swimming laps; he's not the only one that needs to cool off.

* * *

She has his t-shirt flowing over her, draping at her thighs like an overgrown dress and she loves it - or more specifically the darkened look in Logan's eyes when he sees her in it.

"Does it look okay?" She asks, innocently, tilting her head as she stares at him as she tries to hold back her smirk - because she knows already that he likes it.

He bobs his head, silently staring her over and she can see him holding back - restraining himself - she can't help but enjoy the fact that he has to contain himself just because of how she's dressed. She's read about how boyfriends enjoy their girlfriends wearing their clothes but the way he's looking at her like he wants to devour her catches her by surprise - she can't believe he wants her this much especially when she isn't doing anything except standing there in his oversized t-shirt.

"You're beautiful," he lets out, finally closing in on her. Her eyes flicker up to meet his, tipping on her toes, she wraps her hands around his neck and kisses him, deep and needy.

His arms reflectively wrap around her back, drawing her into him. He knows he's holding her tightly but he can't seem to help himself and she's squeezing herself into him in a way that tells him that she doesn't mind.

She grabs onto his head, pulling him into her and tilting her head because she wants more and more and she wonders how far he'll let her go before she has to say something.

His hands draw to her butt, lifting her up onto him and she tightens her legs around his waist, mouth still on his as he moves them to the bed.

She's breathless, blonde hair fanned out beneath him and she stares at him, lust coloured into her blue eyes. She grabs at his shirt, bringing him down to her and kisses him again. Her lips fall to his neck and shoulder, restlessly tugging for him to remove his shirt - shirts.

"Why so many layers," she whines out, huffing in frustration. He obligingly removed them, lips on her skin to ease her wails.

She starts to remove her shirt - his shirt that's on her - but he stops her. "You look so sexy wearing it."

She feels sexy. Whenever he looks at her like that - like she's the embodiment of temptation - she feels sexy. It's so ridiculous because she's never thought of herself as sexy before but he says it, his hot mouth is on her showing her how much he wants her and it's exhilarating to know that she has that affect on him.

She feels more comfortable in his shirt than her swimsuit. She's never thought shirts could be a thing of sex appeal but he's groaning above her, his lips are on her skin and her name trailing from the back of his throat into her veins.

"Touch me," she whispers out, her voice is dry and raspy, her body is hot and she feels dazed but she needs more and Logan seems intent of staying within boundaries he's drawn for himself so she guides his hands to rest on her rest on her breast.

He groans, loudly, squeezing her boob and she squirms underneath him. His hand is warm and large and the tightness feels good in ways she didn't know it would.

She moans, softly, encouragingly and he's taken away by how beautiful she is and how damned hard it is to do this with her. He wants to take her in his mouth and make her his right here and now so he closes his eyes and tries to control himself. His mouth comes to her stomach and he leaves open mouth kisses.

"Bite me," she whispers between breaths.

He looks up at her, dazed and turned on to the point of pain. "What?"

She shudders, his fingers still pressing against her boobs. She lets out a breath and allows, "You can leave a hickey." Her fingers come to trail underneath her breast. "Here," she whimpers. "You can bite me here."

* * *

It doesn't take long after that for Logan to pull away and go take a shower, Veronica lays in his bed, the smell of him so prominent and intoxicating. It's further that they've gone before but she still feels like she wanted more. She wonders how far is actually the more that she wants. It makes her wish that she had someone to talk to.

Meg would warn her against anything sexual and it's hard having this conversation with the person that's taken the role of mother in favour of sister so going to Meg for advice is a no go.

She supposes the only other female that she could speak with was Georgia, they were friendly enough but Veronica really doesn't wanna hear about her talk about Wallace in that context.

She figures she could just talk to Logan but she doesn't know how to explain it. She wants more but she doesn't know how much more she wants. She doesn't want to push him to the point of frustration but she doesn't want to broadcast how inexperienced she is in comparison to him even though he already knows it.

She sighs, letting herself fall into his fluffy pillows and closes her eyes. There's a slight smile on her face when she cuddles into his pillow as she thinks about the purple marks he's left behind.

 


	35. Chapter 35

****_Dear Veronica,_

_My arms miss the feel of you in it ☹️_

She lightly bites her bottom lip at the memory of her waking up in a Logan made cocoon and his warmth oozing her back to sleep.

_Cure my misery and come with me to the beach after school?_

_\- L_

She glances at her boyfriend from across the room, Mrs Dent is still explaining journalistic concepts and interviewing strategies but everything feels like background noise when she's looking at him.

He's staring back, curved lips and anticipated eyes. She gives him a soft smile before nodding her head in acceptance to his request.

It's then that he breaks out into this wide and toothy grin, she blows out a silent laugh, her cheeks feel a tad heated and it's no mystery to her that his simple note and toothy smile are the reasons for it.

It’s unbelievable how hard it is to have him so close and not being able to touch him when her body remembers the way his fingertips felt against her skin.

* * *

Lunch comes with giggling girls and computerized quizzes begging the question of are you a saint or a sinner?

"So what'd you score?" Veronica asks after Wallace explains the concept to her. The whole school has been emailed this quiz, everyone is taking it but she doesn't need a quiz to tell her how virginal she is.

“Seventy,” he sighs.

“Wow," she chirps, completely bypassing his dejected tone in an attempt to cheer him up. "You are 30% danger-lovin', girl-touchin' rock star.”

He offers her a weak smile, shaking his head. “More like one point away from being cool.”

She chuckles, the conversation slipping into weekend plans. Logan comes through ten minutes later, settling beside her, sweet cheek kisses and a fussy Wallace that's soon appeased with pizza and garlic bread. Veronica can't help but wonder what Logan's score would be. She knows he's more experienced than her. It's a fact, an undeniable one at that. She wonders if she could handle seeing a number assigned to them, to see a calculated difference on how much she lacks in comparison to Logan - to Lilly.

"You okay?" He asks softly, raising a piece of cheesy garlic bread to her mouth.

She nods, physically trying to shake away her thoughts as she accepts a bite of the offered bread. The guys talk about Halo and Veronica plucks out a slice of pizza for herself, chiming in her opinion and bantering about absolutely nothing, trying to ignore the questions her mind has unfairly made up.

* * *

Veronica feels like she’s shifted into a scene from Mean Girls - notably, a scene compared to wild jungle animals from Africa; it’s a chaotic mess. Admittedly, an amusing chaotic mess - that is until Veronica spots Carmen, one of her girls from the soccer team crying her eyes out as her boyfriend Tad angrily shouts with pages clenched in his hand. Carmen shakes her head, denying the accusations while trying to scrub out the large red painted 48 on her locker door.

“Have you ever slept with someone who spoke a language you didn't know? Have you ever had a fling while on vacation? Do you lie to protect your reputation? It all makes sense, every question here. You turned me into a joke. Thanks,” Tad storms away with an angry huff, leaving Carmen alone, abandoned.

Veronica isn’t particularly close to the girls on her team. They play. They celebrate. They go home. However, she knows enough about Carmen to know that she’s a good person that doesn’t deserve what just happened to her and so she walks up to her, she wants to show support and comfort - she's not sure how but she wants to.

“I-I didn't even do anything," Carmen sobs out, hands tired of scrubbing the imprinted number as they fall to her side.

“I know," Veronica assures her, offering a small supportive smile. She's not good at this - this was always Meg's job; the comforter.

“You believe me?” the girl looks to Veronica in surprise, her tears damp on her cheeks.

“Of course I do, Carmen. I’m your captain, I know my people. If you want, I can find who posted that test for you. We'll clear your name and make somebody pay," Veronica promises because that's what she's good at; solving things, righting wrongs.

“Really?” Carmen lets out, relief and hope and gratitude lighting up. All Veronica can do for now is nod and give her striker an assuring smile. “Thank you, Veronica," she tries for a smile, sniffling as she tries to gain her strength back. "Everyone thinks I’m the biggest slut in school."

Veronica's eyes draw passed Carmen and settle into her own locker that has a large red painted number fourteen. She swallows, reigning in her shock and anger. “Well, second biggest,” she tries to joke, brows nudging in the direction of her own locker.

* * *

"Wow, Sugarpuss, you're full of surprises aren't you?" Logan's voice quips as he falls beside her locker. "Let me," he says, voice quieter as he takes the sponge from her hand.

She lets him, leaning against the locker next to hers, her lips press into a tight smile as she remarks, “Well, honeybuns, this is a product of Lilly’s jealousy.”

“What?" He lets out, crinkled brows and disbelieving look in his eye. He shakes his head and she wonders if this is him trying to convince himself of his own thoughts. "There's no way."

His refusal fuels the anger that's been stirring in her since morning, her brows pull into a deep frown and she asks, "Are you being serious right now?”

His eyes meet hers, he's taken aback by the anger he sees in her blue eyes but he keeps her gaze and hopes she'll see the sincerity in him. “We talked, Veronica," he softly assures her.

Her jaw clenches and she shackles down the accusing _when did you talk to her? Where did you talk to her? Why did you talk to her?_

"And she’s fine with us. I swear," he says, assuring and she knows he's trying to comfort her but it's not comforting at all. "She knows how much you mean to me," he whispers, sincere and full of love.

She falters in her anger. She doesn't know how he takes her to a boiling point and brings her down to a melting point in less than 30 seconds. She offers him a tiny smile as a reward and he pecks her nose.

She's not upset at Logan but she knows she's right about Lilly. She knows Logan wants to preserve his friendship with Lilly but she wonders if Logan knows that Lilly doesn't know what friendship is.

“Do you remember what happened that time you kissed Yolanda?" She quizzes and Logan freezes in his movement. "She moved schools because of Lilly," Veronica recalls, trying to show Logan just how far Lilly can go. Stealing passwords, faking a test score, igniting rumours and bullying was child's play in comparison to the things Lilly Kane was capable of.

“You don’t know that Lilly did this," he says and again it shoots annoyance straight up her spine.

Her eyes pierce into him, he's not looking at her as he works on removing the number tainting her locker. Her eyes close for a second, she tries to not get into a fight with him but she can't help feel disappointed that he's still awarding Lilly loyalty points. “I never thought you’d be the naive one in this relationship,” she shakes her head as she turns on her heel and walks away from him.


	36. Chapter 36

_Dear Veronica,_

_I wish you would talk to me. You have to know that I'm on your side, please believe me when I say all I want to do is protect you._

_Lilly's my friend. I know how she can be but honestly she's not as strong as she seems._

_If she did do this to you, Veronica, I promise, I won't let it slide._

_Please just talk to me._

_\- L_

He sees her by her locker, she stuffs his note into her bag without reading it and he hates this feeling that's coming over him - this dread building up inside him ever since she walked away from him yesterday.

He wants to make them okay again. He wants to hold her and never let go. He wants her to know how much he loves her.

She's focused on her task at hand, pulling books out of her locker that she doesn't notice him or doesn't want to notice him. He's standing from afar and desperately wishes she'd just look at him.

She doesn't.

He's walking towards her because he can't leave them be. He knows she's going to dart away but he needs to try. As he walks, he sees John Enbom roll beside her, smirking and slut sneezing as he passes by her. The crowd around her giggles and he hears someone comment about how it's always the quite ones.

His jaw clenches, his fist flex open and close at his side as he moves forward and then he has John Enbom by his throat, pushed up against the locker. "You," he's got a firm grip on his collar, eyes staring deadly into his so-called friends. "Say you're sorry."

"Dude, what's the problem? I thought you were done with her," Enbom says, trying to get out of Logan's clutches. "She's a skank," he says, bewildered at his friend's reaction.

Logan pushes against him with even more force, intense eyes, threatening, daring. "If you've got a problem with Veronica, you’re pretty much dead to me."

He lets go of Enbom, turning to the whole crowd; it's all 09ers. He knows how they can be but this was Veronica. How could they do this to her? "So just like evaporate or something. I don't care."

The boy squirms away, muttering his apology as he retreats and finally, Logan looks to Veronica and offers his hand, it feels like he needs it more than her.

She's staring up at him with utter surprise and he hates himself for making her feel like this is something he wouldn't do for her, like she doesn't mean this much to him. She means _everything_. He lets out a breath when she locks her palm with his and he gives it a firm squeeze as they move down the hall, away from the crowd.

* * *

"Are you okay?" He asks once they're settled on the bleachers and she lightly nods her head. "I'm sorry all this happened. I should have been with you from the start then maybe they wouldn't have -"

She kisses him between his words, he's surprised because he doesn't deserve kisses after what he's let happened to her but he takes it. He takes all that she gives him even if he doesn't deserve it.

"It's not like I let them get to me," she brushes away. "Enbom's lucky you got there in time or he would have had to face my wrath."

His hand holds hers, he tries to smile at her words because he knows she's strong but he doesn't want her to have to be. "Has this been happening since yesterday?"

"Yeah," she admits quietly. "The sneezes. Second rate comments. Just regular gossip," she shrugs off. "Carmen's gotten the brunt of it. At least I didn't get people calling me at home. It'd be ballsy to call the sheriff's house and no one's got any here."

"I just don't get why Lilly would do this to you," he shakes his head.

"Logan," she lets out, tired, frustrated. She wishes she could tell him she doesn't want to hear him say Lilly's name ever again.

"I understand she's your friend," she says, voice calm, collected. She doesn't want to fight with him again; she'd gotten a headache and it's exhausting trying to avoid him when he's constantly trying to find her.

They've just made up; he's stood up for her in front of all his friends. A part of her wishes that message had also included Lilly, that Lilly was there to see it but it still meant a lot. She's never had anyone stick up for her like that.

"And you don't want to think the worst of her," she continues, closing her her eyes for a second as she stops herself from saying _even though you've experienced the worst from her._

"But Lilly hates me," she tells him, eyes set on his. She wants to say, _Lilly hates me because she loves you._ She doesn't. She doesn't want Logan to have ideas of Lilly loving him again. She doesn't want Logan to chose between them; Lilly and him have history that's surpassed the test of time, they've chosen each other again and again - even over her. She doesn't want him to choose because there's a high possibility that he might not choose her.

"This isn't a fight between the three of us," she says because if it is all she can think is _Veronica VS Lilly and Logan_. "It's between Lilly and I."

He's shaking his head, tightening his hold on her hand and says, "If it _is_ Lilly, there's no way I can forgive her for this."

She can't hide the surprise that comes over her when he says that. "What?"

"I've forgiven her for so much, Veronica. So much. But I can't forgive her for hurting you after I told her that I love you."

He stares at her will brown eyes full of love and dedication. His hands hold hers with warm affection and she's at a loss of what to say.

Her heart beats a little faster, her eyes stare into his with unreserved love and gratitude. _He's choosing her. He's choosing her._

She's so in love with this boy in front of her that she doesn't know what to do with it. She's filled up with emotions she's only ever felt with him, for him - only now it's intensified to the point of no return.

She kisses him, hands cupping his face and trailing down to his collar. It lasts only a few seconds; she's so overwhelmed with her feelings that she knows she's going to want more than just a make out session if they don't stop.

His forehead rests on hers, hands hugging her shoulders and she breaths into his shirt. She's missed the smell of sea salt and sandalwood.

* * *

It doesn't take her long to figure it out - not with the help of her new friend Cindy Mackenzie; computer whiz and overall cool kid.

It's been a while since she's been this active in an investigation; following leads, doing stakeouts and snapping incriminating photos of scenes she'd rather not see.

Things come into perspective rather easily when she finds one key piece. So she follows the frog to the pond and finds all of her answers with camera in hand. She doesn't know if she feels disappointed or relieved when she realises she has to apologize to Logan that night.

Because what she finds is Kimmy smacking nasties with the IT guy. She doesn't know what she's done to offend the girl, she's never so much as had a conversation with her but she's damn well going to find out.

It's the next day that she finds out and realises that she doesn't owe Lilly Kane a damned thing.

Veronica's got a taped confession from Kimmy, it airs during the morning News update for the whole school to see.

"Please, it wasn't me," comes the voice and panicked face of Kimmy.

"Then who was it?" Veronica's tight and demanding voice breaks through.

"It was Lilly," the panicky girl admits. "Lilly posted the test for you. She hates you because you stole Logan from her. I only posted Carmen’s, I swear," Kimmy pleads for Veronica to believe her.

Unseen on screen, Veronica has photographic proof of Kimmy's sexual relations with the IT guy that's much older than her.

"Why would you do that?"

"She gets everything I want," Kimmy complains, frustrated as though she's the one that's been wronged. "Everything. Lead in the musical, the anchor job. She should have just stuck to playing soccer but no she wanted everything."

Veronica accepts the reasoning, feeling no remorse for the girl before her and chirps, "Thanks, Kimmy."

"Wait, what did you-" the video ends and the apologies begin.

* * *

Despite Logan's promises, she hadn't expected anything to change between him and Lilly because Lilly Kane always had an excuse and everyone always fell for it - especially Logan.

So she'd had her own form of vengeance; because life's made her tough and to survive you had to get even. That is until she'd accidentally overheard Logan's conversation with Lilly.

"It was a joke," Lilly dismisses her actions, arms crossed, clearly upset about being their conversation. "Where's your sense of humour?"

"I defended you, Lil," he sighs, shaking his head as though he were a disappointed father. "I can't anymore."

Lilly falters at this, her green eyes pierce into him and she asks, "You can't anymore?"

"We're done," he lets out, backing away.

"What?" Her brows shoot up and her mouth curls with annoyance. "Are you breaking up with me? Do you want your friendship bracelet back?" She snaps.

"Was there a friendship bracelet to start of with? Because clearly I didn't mean as much to you as you did to me," he says with finality as he walks away.

Veronica watches as Lilly's face crumbles up when Logan walks away. She doesn't remember the last time she's seen Lilly about to cry - she thinks the answer is never.

All her plans on getting even fly out the window. She never thought Logan choosing her would make her feel guilty.

* * *

She's on her way to the parking lot to wait for Logan to come when she spots Duncan. It's then that she remembers the email that was sent to him from her email address that confessed feelings of existing love. She wants to facepalm herself for not clearing things up earlier.

She doesn't want them to go back into the state of awkwardness that had formed during the last time he had thought she was confessing her love for him.

She jogs up a bit to catch up to him and calls, "Duncan, hey."

"Hey," he turns, nodding his head and offering a smile.

"Somebody stole my computer password and used it to sent fake emails from me to you so I don't still love you. Just so that you know," she rushes out, awkwardly and partly embarrassed.

He nods his head, understanding smile and assuring eyes and it feels like the Duncan she's always known. It's strange how for the longest time she'd thought she'd been in love with him. It's stranger that all those feelings, for all those years were a candle light in comparison to the wildfire that consumes her when she was with Logan.

"Are you okay?" He asks, he'd heard the rumours, he'd seen the broadcast and he'd tried to talk to her but she was always on the go.

As she nods her head, she feels Logan's hand slid around her waist, pulling her closer as he drops a kiss on her forehead. "Hey, Sugarpuss. DK. How's it going?"

Duncan nods. "Just talking about how crazy this week has been. You know you really should get a harder password," Duncan points out.

"Please, like yours isn't soccer4eva," she remarks, rolling her to eyes.

"No, it's not," he denies, slightly wide eyed, disbelieving on how she knows that.

Veronica chuckles and Logan cuddles further into her as he eyes Duncan. "Whatever you say, Duncan," she waves as they move along to Logan's X-Terra.

* * *

"So," Logan says as he settles into the drivers side. "You up for ice cream?"

She turns to him with a giddy smile, "Always."

He chuckles, smiling as the ignition rumbles and he accelerates away.


	37. Chapter 37

_Dear Veronica,_

_Have I told you how much everything sucks without you next to me? Because it does. It sucks so bad._

_Have I told you that your simple presence makes everything better? Because it does. Like a thousand times better._

_There's not a day that goes by that I'm not grateful that my everyday has you in it._

_\- L_

_P.S. Have I told you kissing you when I was twelve is the best decision I've ever made?_

She kinda hates that she's swooning because of Logan Echolls but she kinda loves that he's making her swoon. Her eyes graze over his messy handwriting again and she inks her own blank piece of paper.

_Dear Logan,_

_Have I ever told you kissing you in the middle of my kitchen is the best decision I've ever made? Because it is. At the time, it felt like the bravest thing I've ever done._

_Everyday is definitely better with you in it._

_\- V_

It feels sappy as she writes it but she's full of sappy emotions caused by this brown eyed boy that she's come to love; she knows he'll smile that smile that makes his whole face kinda just light up and that makes it worth it.

She doesn't expect a response but she gets one. She feels a rush, a warm and jittery rush that's become accustomed with being Logan's girlfriend.

_Speaking of kisses, I really love it when you kiss me. You know, in that you can't help yourself kinda way. It's sexy as hell._

Logan's fighting a smile, eyes flickering between Veronica and his notes - he's got to keep up appearances for the sake of not getting caught but he finds it difficult to not look at her and to not smile when she's writing him back. Her letter may have triggered their reunion but he doesn't usually receive such affection written responses from her.

_I like it when you hold me tighter. Like you can't help yourself. Like you want me as much as I want you._

His heart beats ridiculously faster as he reads the note, he blows out a low breath, looking at the words as though he were looking at her all while trying to control himself. He reminds himself that they're in class, that even though he can see her he can't touch her.

_God, Veronica, I always want you. Always. I don't think you understand how much I want you. It's hard not to lose control when I'm with you, bobcat but I can't._

She swallows, fighting the urge to grab him by the hand and drag him out of class. There's only one response she can think of to him, it's a response she's given him before but it's never left her mind and so she writes,

_What if I want you to?_

She doesn't get a reply but after class he's tugging her away and into a supply closet.

"Maybe notes in class aren't allowed for a reason," he whispers into the dark of the cramped room, hands on her waist, completely focused on her.

She grins, tilting her head slightly and toying with the seams of his shirt. "Here I thought you were a bad boy."

"Am I a bad boy?" His voice hoarse, his body pressing into hers and forehead resting against hers. "'Cause I gotta tell ya, I've been feeling rather reformed."

"Mmm," she hums, nose nudging his as her eyes stare at his lips before flickering up to meet his eyes. "Do good boys pull their girlfriends into mop closets? How does one gain access to such things?"

He lets out a soft snort, lips kissing her cheek before whispering, "Coming from the girl that uses the girls bathroom as her own personal office."

He doesn't leave her time to make her quips, hands find her bottom and his mouth finally goes to hers.

It's a short kiss and she already wants more, drifting closer as he makes them come apart. He gives her a light smile, keeping an inch of distance as he speaks, "I want you to promise me something."

"Hmmm?" She finds herself humming, eyes still trailing on his lips that's messed with her watermelon lip gloss.

"You'll tell me to stop. Whenever it feels like too much. Tell me to stop," he says, eyes forcing here to look at him and she knows he's referring to her note.

She nods her head, easily accepting these conditions that he's made solely for her convenience. "Does that mean you won't be pulling away when we're in the middle of a make out session?"

"I can't promise that entirely but we can test the waters," he promises. "You need to tell me to stop if it's too much, babe. It's so easy to get carried away with you."

She breaths into him, body lifting as she kisses him, eyes closed, she whispers, "I can do that." She hopes that she can because it really is way to easy to get carried away with him.

"I want you to be comfortable," he tells her, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I also want you to be satisfied."

"Mmm," she nods, his hands are on her cheeks and she wonders if he can feel how warm she is. She wonders if he knows it's because of him. "And I don't want you to be tardy."

He squishes her face a bit and she wrinkles her nose at him, he grins, kissing her again before letting his hands fall away from her cheeks. "Who needs physics?"

"You do," she laughs, pulling him back for a quick kiss but halts midway. "Remember," she starts and he laughs, soft and warm and she feels like she's floating on a Logan high. "Force equals mass times acceleration."

"Mmm," he hums into her mouth, kissing her as much as he can.

"Light is a particle that can exhibit properties of a wave," she lets out, airy and he's giving her light kisses before they have to part ways again.

"I'd learn more staying here with you," he whispers and she pushes him away. He gives her a final kiss and she sighs, needing to cool down. She really wishes he didn't have to go to physics.

* * *

"These are for you," Carmen chirps, smiling as she places an open box full of cupcakes on Veronica's table. "Thanks for being my knight in shining armour."

Veronica peeks into the box and playfully remarks, "What do I have to do for a pie?"

Carmen's smile slips away and Veronica mentally cringes. "I'm kidding," she assures. "They're great. Thanks."

The brunette relaxes, relieved and takes a seat next to the blonde. "I really am so grateful for what you've done for me, Veronica. If you ever need anything, at all, I'm your girl, Captain."

"I'm gonna hold you to that," she teases, chuckling. "I hear Tad's been trying to get you back."

Carmen nods. "He's been calling and coming around but I can't. He says I'm flushing our two year relationship down the toilet like he wasn't the one that had done that all by himself."

Veronica nods sympathetically. "He's a jerk. You deserve better. You deserve _much_ better," she adds, channelling Meg.

"I know," Carmen smiles, acknowledging and assuring that she's not backsliding. "And I saw what Logan did yesterday, that was just amazing. You're really lucky, Veronica. He really loves you."

_I'm in love with you, Veronica Mar_ s, she remembers the warm night they'd confessed their true feelings to each other.

Veronica nods, soft smile and then she realises that he hasn't said it again. She realises that she hasn't said it at all.

* * *

"You're friends with Ryan's sister?" Heather frantically asks the moment she's in the backseat of Logan's car.

Veronica's brows furrow, she glances at her sister's wide eyes and deep frown. "Yes. And why?"

"Who's Ryan's sister?" Logan asks, eyes flickering between the Mars girls.

"Cindy Mackenzie," Veronica tells him. "Goes by Mac. She helped me with the test scores."

He nods and any response he had was drowned out by Heather's exaggerated groan. "In all of the girls in all of Neptune, you had to try to be friends with her."

"What's with the tone, Snippy?" Veronica redirects, surprised.

"You're not capable of having girlfriends. You're gonna have a fall out and Ryan's gonna hate me," she slumps, pouting with a huff.

"First off, ouch," Veronica frowns, surprise turning into anger. "How am I incapable of having girlfriends?"

"Because you're seventeen and you don't have any?" Heather throws out. "Georgia's obviously been conditioned by Wallace to like you so that doesn't count."

"Okay you're being way mean," the older Mars shakes her head, disbelieving that her sister is saying these things to her, especially for no good reason.

"It's true! You get along well with us, your family and you get along with guys," Heather tries to explain, defending her criticism and feeling the slightest bit guilt for the way Veronica's face crumbles for a second. "But you don't do well with girls for some reason."

Everything feels like white noise and Veronica doesn't care for Heather's explanations right this second. "Well, I don't appreciate being judged by my people preferences."

Heather pouts, loud and dramatic while Veronica crosses her arms as she glares out the window.

Logan sucks in a breath, his car has never been this silent with the two of them in it. He swallows, looking between both girls before looking into the rear view mirror and asking, "So how was school?"

Heather decidedly continues to speak to Logan while Veronica continues to silently stare out the window.

* * *

"I don't think she meant it to be as mean as it sounded," Logan tries to placate the angry Veronica before him. "She's just upset that there's a possibility of another thing getting in the way of her being with the boy she likes."

Veronica gets out the water bottles from the fridge, twisting on the cap, she rants, "So I'm just supposed to get over it? She was outright mean to me for no good reason. I'm her sister. I take care of her. I do everything she wants. She's never spoken to Meg that way. She always says whatever she wants to me. How is that fair?"

She gulps down the water and Logan's still thinking of a rebuttal, a way to ease the tension between the two sisters when Veronica continues her rant, "And if I had to say anything resembling something she doesn't like, she throws a tantrum and goes to her room, giving me the silent treatment."

She's visibly upset and Logan really doesn't know what to do considering the person the other side of this battlefield is Heather. He touches her arm, moving closer, his other arm caressing the top of her hair and he softly says, "She's a kid, babe."

"You know once she got upset because of a joke I made," Veronica snorts, letting Logan hold her.

Heather's retreated to her room, it's the first time that he's seen her lock herself away when he was here. "What was the joke?" He prompts, hoping that she lets out all her pent up frustrations on him rather than her little sister.

"It was before we got Backup," she tells him, moving out of his hold and getting together ingredients to make them a sandwich. "So we were talking about getting a dog and Duncan had asked what she was gonna name it so I jokingly said that it was after her crush," she recalls, buttering the slices of bread.

"She threw a hissy fit and stormed off. She wouldn't talk to me. I baked her cookies and left it as an apology on her night stand and she still didn't talk to me," Veronica goes on, pausing only to shake her head and grab the ham. "She ate the cookies though. And you know what? I won't so much as get an apology out of this," she blows out, placing the ham on the buttered slices of bread laid out.

"Wait, why would that have made her upset?" He asks, confused as he helps her by breaking out the lettuce.

"Because her crush was Duncan."

This surprises him and he shakes his head, "What is with you Mars girls and Duncan Kane? He's not that special."

For the first time since the car ride, she cracks a slight smile. "Are you jealous?"

"I mean, I had at least thought I had Heather on my team," he sighs, trying to subdue his disappointment.

She's cutting up the sandwiches and feels herself lighten a bit. She hands him a plate and says, "We both like you better."

"Yeah?" He asks, eyes meeting hers.

She smiles, accompanied with a easy nod and a soft, "Yeah. Can you go give this to her please?"

He gives her a soft smile, taking the plate from her hand and says, "You're amazing, you know that, right?"

Veronica hums, nodding her head and hopes he doesn't see the doubt that lingers behind her eyes.


	38. Chapter 38

"Is that chili I smell?" Keith says, plopping down his briefcase and taking out his jacket. Backup runs to him immediately, enthusiastically wagging his tail and Keith chuckles, patting the dog affectionately.

"Chicken cheese chili surprise," Veronica chirps, stirring the pot with a wooden spoon. "Hope you're hungry, pops."

He rounds about the counter, smelling in the aroma, "What's the surprise?"

"In ten minutes, you'll find out," she remarks, continuing to stir before leaving it to cook for a little longer.

"So how was school?" Keith asks as he rinses his hands and fills up a glass of water to drink. "Where's Heather?"

"School is good, regular," Veronica shrugs, turning to clean up a bit while the food sits on the stove. "Heather's playing video games with Logan."

"Ah," he lets out. "She's really getting along with Logan, huh?"

"Yeah, she and Logan are real pals," Veronica clicks her tongue.

Wiping his hand on the dish towel, he eyes his daughter and asks, "What's wrong?"

Veronica shakes her head, shrugging. "I don't know. She's just moody."

Concerned, he frowns and questions, "Did you two have a fight?"

Veronica sighs. "Basically," she starts, trying to explain the situation. "She thinks I can't handle being friends with girls," she blows out a breath and shakes her head slightly. "She's upset I'm friends with Ryan's sister. Says I'm ruining her chances," she pauses for a moment and rephrases Logan's choice of words, "of friendships."

His brows lift up and she can see the question raising in his eyes, "You made a friend?"

"What is with the surprise face, Mr? Easy going Veronica Mars, that's what the kids call me at school."

"Uh huh, sure honey," he lets out a smile, giving her a kiss on her head. "Well, I'm glad you're making friends."

She frowns, turning back to check on the chili and asks, "Do you think I'm really that bad at the friendship thing?"

Keith shakes his head. "No, honey, of course not. You have a little trouble opening up but I gotta admit, you've really been softening up ever since you and Logan started hanging out."

"Are you calling me soft, dad? 'Cause that's gonna mess with my street cred."

"Anyone would be lucky to have you as their friend, sweetie. As Wallace likes to say, you're a marshmallow."

Veronica rolls her eyes but lets the words of her father comfort her.

* * *

Veronica's grateful for Logan's presence during dinner. He's easily talking to her father and Heather; playing deviater from the big elephant between her and Heather.

It's only dessert time that her little sister is left alone with her, helping dish out ice cream.

"You can have the chocolate ice cream," Heather says, pushing the bowl to Veronica and taking the strawberry flavour for herself.

Veronica eyes her sister, brows crinkled as she observes the little blonde girl. "But you only ever eat chocolate flavoured ice cream." She knows well enough from experience that Heather would rather not eat ice cream at all than have anything other than the chocolate flavour.

"You should take it before I change my mind," Heather remarks, still every bit as stubborn as she was this afternoon.

Veronica nods, accepting the bowl and Heather hops off onto the couch with her bowl. Veronica looks at her ice cream and smiles slightly. She knows this is Heather's way of making amends; the silent admission of guilt and _this is my sorry_. She knows the routine, she been on both the receiving and giving end on the self-sacrificial punishment. An _I'm sorry_ would be nice but Veronica does very much prefer chocolate to strawberry.

Heather might not be rude to Meg but she's never given Meg her chocolate ice cream either. That warms her up inside.

* * *

"You seem more chipper," Logan says as Veronica cuddles into him on the couch. Heather's in bed and Keith's in his room, Logan doesn't want to presume he's asleep.

She hums against him, feeling content, The Office plays on screen and Logan lets his fingers brush through her hair.

"I've been meaning to ask you," Logan starts. "You know, Christmas break is coming up?"

"Mmm," Veronica hums, reluctantly moves her head away from his chest so she can look at him. "I'm aware."

He bobs his head, one hand fidgeting with her fingers and the other with her hair. "So Dick has this cottage in Aspen, a couple of the guys are going. He wanted us to come."

Veronica takes a breath, she feels herself tense at the obvious request and says, "Meg's coming home for Christmas."

"I know, it's the weekend before. Well, they're staying for the week but we can just do the weekend," he compromises, eyes hopeful and focused on her.

"Logan," she sighs, straightening up her posture. His hand falls from her hair and onto their entwined fingers. "I don't know, not so long ago most of them were ready to throw me under the bus," she partly jokes even though it's not a joke at all.

"I promise you don't need to socialize with anyone you don't want to but I just thought it'd be nice for us to do something before Christmas Break ends. Also, Wallace and Georgia are invited."

The mention of Wallace makes her soften and he knows then that she's not going to say no. "You just think of everything don't you?"

"Is that a yes?" He asks, smiling widely.

She softly chuckles at his reaction and amends, "It's an I'll ask my dad and let you know."

"All I ask," he grins, happy and relieved as he pulls her back into his arms.


	39. Chapter 39

"What are you doing?" Veronica asks, partly laughing as he walks backwards with her in his arms.

He smiles, his fingers pushing away her strayed hair from her forehead as he falls onto the bed with him on his lap. "Levelling the playing field," he remarks, slipping her jacket off and tugging at her earlobe with his teeth.

The jacket comes off easy, she brings her hands to cup his face, grinding closer to him, she kisses him and whimpers out, "Is this where you take all your conquests?"

He laughs, eyes bright as he looks at her, eyes drifting to her gloss free pink lips courtesy of his kisses. "Nope, only the short ones."

His fingers thread through her hair, leaning back in, he kisses her hard and she pushes him down flat on the bed. She's warm and achy all over, she tugs at his shirt and regrets having pushed him down - because layers and the taking our of layers.

He chuckles lightly, lifting himself up when she rolls over. She eyes him, flustered and needing to touch him.

She moves behind him, lips on his neck. He groans at the surprise contact, at the sensation her mouth has on his neck. She feels herself brimming with pride for a moment, she wants so bad to make him make more sounds like that. Louder sounds. Gruffer sounds. Sounds that prove he can't control himself with her.

She's shredding away his shirts, tossing them to the side and looks at his well defined physique.

He's about to say something but she's crawled her way to him and her lips are on his stomach. She kisses her way up, nipping at his skin with her teeth and his eyes are closed, trying to control all the sensations she's making him feel.

She makes her way back up to his mouth and kisses him, curling her fingers into his hair and moaning into his mouth.

His hands come on her waist, moving up and her mouth goes back onto his neck. Then to the nook that she dreams about biting. She sucks to the point where he has to pull her away.

Her eyes sink into his and his fingers make the way up her top, she kisses him and mumbles on his lips, "Just take it off."

He presses into her, removing her top and his eyes travel down, taking her in. She lets out a breath, taking his hands, she rests them on her breasts and he groans, pressing his palms against her. She whimpers in his arms, needing more, he lets his mouth fall to her neck and trails down to her bra covered breasts. He pushes down on the padded layer, taking her in his mouth. She aches into him and he undoes the black bra, letting it fall beside them.

"Logan," she whispers, breath hitching as he bites into her. Her eyes close, enjoying the feel of him as she falls to the bed with him on top of her.

"I love you," he says, kissing her lips and her eyes are full of love and desire. Her throat is dry and her breath is out of pace. She wants to say too.

"Logan," she lets out, "I-"

"Logan!" He hears the shrilled voice of his sister. "Do you want pizza?" She yells and he knows she won't come in, she's never before but he groans, lifting himself up and away from Veronica who sighs into the bed.

"At least she's offering food," Veronica says half-hearted, putting her clothes back on.

Logan sighs, kissing her before saying, "Her friends must have bailed on her. She wasn't supposed to be home."

She sits, now clothed on the bed as Logan adds back on his layers. She sighs, again as he leaves her in his room.

* * *

"Veronica Mars," Trina enunciates. "You haven't gotten tired of my brother yet?"

Veronica gives the redhead a half-hearted chuckle, "Nope, this guy is stuck with me."

Logan grins from behind her as he places the call to order pizza. Figures Trina would offer him pizza because she didn't want to pick up the phone to make the call herself.

"So, what d'ya say, Veronica, you and me, shopping spree. It'll be fun," she wiggles her brows, grinning.

Veronica bops her head, appeasing her boyfriend's sister. "Sure, I'll have to see when I can find time. I can't leave Heather alone."

"Is she here?" Trina's brows furrow as she glances for the younger Mars girl.

"No, no, she's at her friends. Usually, she's with me."

"Ah, well bring her along," Trina shrugs. "She's got the Mars gene. And it's a fact that us Echolls naturally get along with Mars'."

"It is?" Veronica arches her brow.

"Yeah, everyone here is like obsessed with you," Trina rolls her eyes, snacking on grapes.

"Including you," Logan points out, settling onto the bar stole by the counter.

"Oh, hush, it's not my fault you haven't had any girlfriends like her before," she dismisses Logan before she turns to Veronica. "By the way, can you make cookies that are less calories but taste as good as your chocolate chip cookies?"

Veronica thinks about this for a moment, she doesn't think there's such a thing but she does know there are healthy types of cookies, she's just never needed to make them.

Meanwhile, Logan accuses, "You're the one that stole my cookies?!"

Once again, Trina shrugs dismissively at her brother and tells him, "Sharing is caring, little brother."

* * *

Bonfires are a common thing in Neptune High. She's never been to one before.

Logan's hand holds hers; warm and tight, comforting and safe. She's invited Wallace, Georgia and Mac. She doesn't see any of them. Logan chatters to groups they pass by and she smiles with quick _heys_. Her heart isn't in it. She wishes she were in a room alone with Logan.

He gets her a drink and himself some non-alcoholic cider before she's pulled into conversation with a bunch of girls she doesn't remember seeing before.

She's tugged away to sit on a log beside a fire with other people she doesn't recall meeting. Is this what it feels like to date the popular guy? Everyone knows your name but you don't know theirs?

She sips on her drink and sulks internally because she misses the feel of Logan next to her.

She engages, socializes and plays _I've Never_ with these girls. It's fun-ish. She's never done most of these things. She would rather sit home with Wallace and watch a movie, even if it's his choosing. Again, she finds herself wondering where are her friends?

She feels warm; fingertips, cheeks, throat, toes. She feels light and warm and it's probably the alcohol. Maybe it's also the dancing flames of the bonfire. It may also be the fire within her belly that's been lit ever since she's been with Logan.

It may be all three. A deadly combination because she's warm and in need of physical attention.

Her eyes trail to Logan's figure - she finds him beyond the fiery flames - he stands tall before his peers, grinning and engaging in story telling. He lifts his red plastic cup to his mouth and she admires the straight line of his jaw, the curve of his cheek bone. She remembers the feel of it against her mouth. She watches the way his hands flutter about and the way his mouth curves with every word he says.

She likes looking at Logan; she especially likes looking at Logan when he doesn't know she's looking.

She listens to the girls chattering beside her but the only thing she hears is the beat of her heart.

There's these moments where she's flushed with desire - moments when she needs him to touch her. It's not there all the time - though she always likes touching him - there's just moments where those feelings are particularly intensified.

This moment was one of them.

She drifts in and out of conversation, in and out of the game, eyes flickering between the girls and him. He notices; of course, he notices. Smirky and sinful eyes. He stares into her like he knows what she's thinking, like he's thinking it too.

She wishes. She hopes.

Her body reacts to him on instinct; her mouth curves, mischievous and flirty as she looks at him. That's her boyfriend, the guy that writes her love notes and uses nerdy references. That's also the guy that makes her moan against him and says her name in ways that makes her heart beat louder and legs melt to goo.

Her eyes go back to the girls, taking her attention away from him, sipping on her drink as she tries to be more engaged.

(She doesn't really try all that hard, she's too focused on Logan).

She can feel his eyes still on her, biting her lip, she flutters her lashes to look back up at him and it feels different than a second ago.

His eyes are focused on her, like she's the only person he sees. It sends warm shivers through her.

She doesn't know how long they've been staring at each other (how long she's been caught up in his smouldering gaze) but the girls are encouraging her to say something for I've Never.

She doesn't notice that Logan's crossed the shore to her yet, she's taking a second to think of something before confessing, "I've never been skinny dipping."

The girls giggle, taking their drink, Logan's lips whisper in her ear, "We can remedy that."

She isn't that surprised he's next to her. It's strange that she can sense him in a way that she can't with anyone else. Maybe it's the warmth that resonates from him. Maybe it's her heart noticing his.

Her nose touches his and she can't deny that she would have accepted his request if they were alone. If they were alone, she'd strip naked and do it right now with him. Skinny dipping, that is.

"Wanna get out of here?" He asks, breath warm against her neck.

She hums against him but her eyes focus in front of her and she sees the familiar face of her favourite tech whiz coming towards her. "Mac," she lets out. She's caught between her emotions. She's happy that Mac came along, she's sure that this means friendship accepted. Another part of her really wanted to go and make out with Logan in his car.

She forcibly tames that side. She just wants to feel the happy feeling that Mac is here.

"Veronica," Mac says, relieved. "I'm so glad I caught you. Sorry, I was here awhile ago but this guy kept talking to me and well I didn't know how time just flew."

"Things that happen when you're having fun," Veronica jokes half-hearted. "This is Logan," she introduces, Logan bobs his head in greeting and offers a quick salute. "So who's this guy that's been taking up all your time?"

"Mac!" She hears a voice call from higher ground as he rushes forward. "Mac, wait, I didn't get your number."

"Dick Casablancas?" Veronica stares at her new friend with wide eyes and Mac helplessly sighs, spotting the slightest look of guilt.

"I know," Mac says. "I know all the rumours but he seems..."

"Don't say nice," Veronica warns, Logan hides his chuckle in her hair.

"Not bad?" Mac half shrugs and just then Dick catches up to her, grinning, pen and paper in hand.

Veronica turns to her boyfriend. "Promise me you'll find out intentions before I have to," she says, staring expectantly at him.

"Don't worry, Sugarpuss, I'll make sure my friend has the best of intentions for your friend."

She stares at him, unimpressed so he continues, "I'll make sure Dick isn't gonna be a dick."

"Thank you," she smiles, giving him a peck of approval.


	40. Chapter 40

"Guess who?" She feels warm palms cover her eyes.

"Josh Hartnett? Please tell me you're Josh Hartnett," she jokes, mouth quirking in a smile.

"Close," he says, laughing, letting his hands fall down.

She chuckles, turning around and asks, "I thought you didn't like coming to these things."

Duncan shrugs, "I didn't mind it, I just preferred spending my time differently."

She nods in understanding. _Differently had flown to New York._ "So did you come alone or should I be expecting the other Kane to be streaking the beach?"

"She is fond of the dramatics," he chuckles. "But, uh, no. She and Weevil broke up. Apparently high school bonfire is too tame a scene for her."

Veronica swallows, absorbing the new piece of information before pushing it to the back of her mind, remarking, "Is anything enough for Lilly Kane?"

He shrugs, getting himself a can of coke from the cooler. "So how's Heather?"

"She's Heather," Veronica lets out. "She misses you."

"I wanted to come by," he says. "I just didn't know if that's okay."

"It's okay," she assures him, soft smile. She feels like it's the first time her heart and mind feels clear on Duncan's position in her life.

* * *

"Who invited him anyway?" Dick's mouth falls into a frown, disdain colouring his eyes as he stares at the boy that's stolen Mac's attention.

Logan shrugs, he's sitting at the bonfire waiting for Veronica to return with refills - he'd offered and she'd given him eyes like _you better analyse the shit out of your friend_. So he'd settled down and observed the human condition as his girlfriend wished.

Except when Veronica left, Mac had been whisked away and Dick couldn't stop bitchin' about it.

"So Mac, huh?" Logan asks, eyes watching the flames dance as he warms his hands.

"Huh?" Dick's brows furrow, turning his attention from the talking pair to his best friend.

"You're into Mac?" He clarifies, eyes peaking up to gorge his friend's reaction.

"Isn't it obvious?" Dick remarks; he's known to be attracted to woman and want to satisfy his needs. He doesn't need names or emotions to do so. His brain to body filter is non-existant and he doesn't care (it doesn't really matter what he says or does).

Then he saw her and he'd acted on impulse. She's a girl and flirting is his mother tongue. Flirting turned to a conversation and names suddenly mattered.

She'd spoke in fluid motions of geek and he'd been in awe because he didn't want to stop talking to her - strange considering he's not much for words - he's usually looking for ways to stop talking and start doing better things with their mouths.

He doesn't know anything about liking a girl in a way that Logan does - love is Logan's go-to topic when he's a drunk mess - love is usually the reason why Logan becomes a drunken mess.

Everything sounds poetic when Logan talks about it and Dick isn't one for poetry.

He doesn't know anything about liking a girl but he wants to know _this_ girl.

Right now, he'd like to have her attention back on him and he feels the impatience burning inside him. "I'm gonna tell her Ronnie's calling," he decides, only to note her absence. "Where is Ronnie anyway?" His eyes drift around irritated.

"I don't think Veronica's gonna take to you -"

"Dude," Dick interrupts, eyes focusing to the side of them. "DK's hitting on your girl."

"What?" Logan's head snaps in the direction Dick's looking and he sees them, affection and giggles apparent as they chat.

He should stay, wait for her to get back to him but he's not one for doing what he should do.

He's walking with this ammunition that's come out of nowhere and he knows it's uncalled for and probably unnecessary but it's there and there's a single voice in his head that says it could be there for a reason, that maybe it does mean something.

Duncan's smiling that All-American-Boy smile and Veronica's making remarks that he can't hear but he knows that anything that comes out of her smart mouth would either break a guy's heart or make them fall head over heels. And with the way Duncan's smiling and making googly eyes, Logan can take a guess as to which one that is.

His hand slides up around her waist and he comes to her side, she glances up, surprised and confused but he's murmuring _hey_ like it's been awhile and kissing her the way she likes - the way she likes when they're alone.

When they part, she licks her lips, slightly dazed as she blinks up at him but Logan's already greeted Duncan with a quick nod and _sup, man_ before Veronica could fully recover.

"You coming up for Surfing tomorrow?" He asks, he knows Duncan's more of a land athletic than a water one and he knows Duncan's more than likely to say no. But he wants to show Veronica he can play nice.

"Sure," he shrugs, Logan hides his surprise. "You coming, Ronica?"

"As much as I'd like to see you fumble and fall, I've got plans of the shopping variety."

"You have plans to shop? Who are you and what have you done with Veronica Mars?"

"Shut up," she laughs, smacking his shoulder while he playfully let's out an ouch. "I'm going with Trina and Heather, a girls day out."

"You're going out with Logan's sister?" His brows shoot up in surprise. "I didn't know you met his family."

"Mm," Logan grins, tucking Veronica into his arms. "They just adore her. Who wouldn't?"

"She is adorable," Duncan jokes followed with a cringe - it sounds unnatural when she's got Logan wrapped around her and his own title of sister's boyfriend is long gone.

Veronica's brows furrow slightly but her smile remains and Logan cuddles her to his side. He tilts his head, leaning it on Veronica's and asks, "So we were thinking of heading out for ice cream, wanna come?"

It's the first excuse he can think of that Veronica wouldn't say no to. He knows Dick wants to spend more time with Mac so it's really a win-win situation.

He almost regrets asking because Duncan pauses a moment, considering. He nuzzles Veronica's hair, pecking her temple and she whispers for him to stop it - he doesn't.

"I think I'll hang around for a bit," Duncan says, offering a slight smile. "Don't forget my Christmas cookies," he warns, playfully.

"I wouldn't dare," she laughs, giving him a wave as they head on back to their friends.

Logan frowns as he asks, "What Christmas cookies?"

"We have this Christmas cookie bonanza," she tells him. "Just bake a bunch of cookies for Christmas. It's tradition."

"Hmm. So are you making me any special cookies?" He asks, looking at her beneath his lashes as his fingers intertwine with hers.

"Your favourite is already on my list."

His heart warms at her words. He's already on her list. He likes that. "What's my favourite?"

"You've liked the chocolate chip cookies best," she says, confident in her assessment.

He hums, he can't deny the truth of her words. They were the best cookies he's ever had. And he's not just saying that because he's in love with the girl that's made them.

"Is it on the list because of me or because it always is?"

She tilts her head at him and answers, "It always is. Do you have a special cookie that you want?"

He thinks for a long strenuous moment and decides, "I want fruit cake cookies."

"Fruit cake cookies?" She draws back, face skewered in disgust. "You're kidding, right?"

“When done right, fruitcake can be really good,” Logan defends before proceeding to explain. “My great grandmother used to make fruitcake, and she’d put ice cream on top and it was amazing.”

“If you put ice cream on anything, it’s good,” Veronica points out, still unable to believe his suggestion.

“True, but this isn’t your average fruitcake. It’s not a wet loaf of neon jujubes. It’s got pecans and dried cherries and blueberries and good stuff."

"Hmmm, if you say so."

"So you'll make it?"

"If it's what you want, it's what you'll have," she promises, smiling softly as he stares at her with bright eyes and a wide grin.

He kisses her softly - a silent _thank you, I love you_ and _you're the best_ wrapped in a kiss.

She sighs contently into him. "So we're getting Amy's ice cream, right? Not the third rate shack up here, right?"

His chuckles vibrate against her. "Right," he whispers, dropping a kiss to her head.


	41. Chapter 41

"Hey, Veronica," Justin says, smiling, "Converted more of your friends I see?"

Veronica grins and Logan's hands naturally gravitate to her waist. He leans his chin on her head but she moves slightly to the side and leans against him instead. "Someone's gotta get them on the right track. How are you doing, Justin?"

"I'm good," his smile falters ever so slightly, then asks, "How are you?"

"Same ole, same ole," she shrugs, eyeing the ice creams on the menu. "Could you get me a vegan menu, please?"

"Trying out for vegan-ism?"

"I wish I had the strength," she lightly chuckles. "The pull of dairy is just too strong for me."

Justin chuckles along, before pulling out the specialized menu and handing it to Veronica.

She gives him a quick thank you as they walk to their table.

"Figures you'd be on a first name basis with the ice cream boy," Logan remarks, his hands still on her waist as she walks in front of him.

"He goes to our school." 

"Hm. Since when have you been so friendly with the student body?"

"I'm plenty friendly," she defends as she takes her seat across Mac, sliding the menu to her.

"I can see. It's like an episode of _Everybody Loves Veronica Mars_. Or more like _All the Boys Love Veronica Mars_."

"Oh and last week when Tina was hitting on you at the Waffle house? 'Oh anything for Logan and Logan's _friend_.' Was that an episode of _All the Girls Love Logan Echolls_?"

"Tina was hitting on you?" Dick whistles, giving a nod of approval.

"Not helping."

"On the bright side," Mac interrupts, voice light as she changes the topic. "I've never seen such a variety of vegan ice creams in my entire life," she comments, pleased with the turn about.

"Amy's is the best," Veronica readily agrees. "I'm seriously considering getting a part time gig here just for the employee discounts."

Logan looks to her, arching his brows. "You wanna get a part time job here with Justin?"

"With ice cream," the blonde corrects. "Justin just happens to work here too."

"Do you really need a part time job?" He asks, already calculating his deduction in Veronica time if she's serious about this.

She shrugs, explaining, "Meg used to babysit. It looks good on applications and the extra cash doesn't hurt."

"Dude, there's _Superman_ ice cream," Dick says, eyes bright and mouth grinning. Logan peeks over to see the newly added flavour.

"If you really want a part time job," Mac says, looking at Veronica. "I saw an opening that would be perfect for you."

"Do I get free ice cream?" The blonde perks up.

"If you play your cards right, who knows?" She chuckles, she takes a minute trying to think of the name and hits a Eureka moment with her fingers slapping down on the menu. "Van Lowe investigations was looking for someone."

Veronica barks out a laugh, her body vibrating in chuckles. "Vinnie Van Lowe? He's skeazy."

Mac's brows furrow. "You know him?"

Veronica's head bobs in a silent yes. "He comes by every so often at the station. Bounties and whatnot. Likes to annoy dad."

"I figured you'd be into it," the brunette shrugs. "You're all _Bond_ when it comes to the investigation stuff."

"Dude," Dick drags out, loud and enthused. "Like _Buffy_. Minus the vampires."

"You like _Buffy_?" Mac asks, surprise evident as she turns her attention to the boy next to her. "Is it 'cause she's a hot blonde?"

"She gets you like that at first but then you're hooked."

"Wouldn't it be more _Angel_ considering his entire show is that he's a Private Investigator?" Veronica wonders, even though she does prefer _Buffy_ herself.

Dick rolls his eyes. "Couldn't you just take the compliment?"

"Hey, you know," Veronica turns to Logan, grabbing onto his bicep as she stumbles on a realization. "Trina looks like Willow."

"Yeah if you're saying the devil looks like an angel," Dick scoffs and Logan laughs because he knows Dick also had a thing for Willow and Trina scares the life out of him.

"The devil is _literally_ a fallen angel," Veronica reminds. "I think they could pull of twins," she looks to Mac for support, only to realize that the girl has yet to meet Logan's sister.

"The only thing they have in common is their witchy tenancies," Logan remarks, shaking his head of the thoughts.

"So I think this Vanilla Bean Coconut Milk Ice Cream looks promising," Mac says, ending the conversation in favour of ordering. "Did you decide as yet?"

"I'm feeling for some Rocky Road," Logan settles on. "How about you, babe?"

She bites her lips, warmth spreading in her with the simple word of affection. "Rocky Road sounds good. Can I steal some of yours if I go for Cookies and Cream?" She asks, hopeful glint in her blue eyes.

"Only if I can steal some of yours," he grins, fully willing to let her take whatever she wanted.

"You guys are gross," Dick says, flatly.

"You're only saying that because you know there's no way we'd share with you," Veronica points out.

"As if I need to share ice cream, you do know I could buy every flavour and then some, right?" He brags, smugness in his eyes.

"Great, so Dick's buying," Veronica exclaims in a finality. "We should get extra toppings," she says to Mac, pointing to the variations.

* * *

"Please, _Halo_ is way better than _Call of Duty_ ," Mac huffs, hand on her spoon while her eyes and body face the blond boy next to her. "Veronica back me up."

Veronica gives a uncomfortable chuckle. "Not exactly an expert. Now, if you're talking to me about Mario Kart -"

"What Dick means is that he's better at _Call of Duty_ than _Halo_ ," Logan puts forth, trying to somehow calm down the brewing storm.

"Dude, no," Dick denies, shaking his head, hair swishing back and forth like he was starring in a _L'Oreal_ advert. "I will undoubtedly unleash a can of whip ass on _Call of Duty_ but it is better than _Halo_. More realistic, firstly."

"That's besides the point! Firstly, Halo isn't even aiming for realism, you're in a giant ass suit fighting aliens in space. Realistically, you'd be dead a long time before you even started shooting. Secondly, weapons and firepower are a hellova lot better. For starters, gravity-defying hammers -"

Veronica stares at the two of them and says to her boyfriend, "Are they really arguing about which game is better when they both enjoy playing both games?"

"Yup," he answers simply, slurping up a spoonful of his ice cream.

"Would it help if I point out that their ice cream is melting?"

"Doubt it."

She tilts her head and stares at him, "How's about a bite of that Rocky Road?"

He grins, obliging to her wish. He takes a scoop of ice cream and gestures for her to open to say _ah_. "You like?"

She hums, enjoying the chocolatey sensation in her mouth. "Ice cream is life."

He chuckles, tucking her blonde strands behind her hair. "You said that about lasagne. And also waffles."

She leans into his palm, licking her lips, she says, "Where is the lie?"


	42. Chapter 42

Van Lowe Investigations, as unappealing as the name is, Veronica does find herself attracted to the trade of it all. It helps that Mac works at the Kane Software store (she didn't know they had a store but Mac's in love with the gadgets and gizmos and the employee discounts that come along with it).

She'd repelled the idea of working for Vinnie Van Lowe but the pull of the investigation part was enough to get her through the door for an interview.

It's grimy - it doesn't feel like an office - it feels like a frat party died in there. She has a good mind to go back home and ask her dad to get her a job at the station. She'd done that last summer - it wasn't official, it didn't really pay, and it didn't exactly challenge her intellect but she's sure it'd be better than whatever this is.

"You're a PI that works in a mall?" She stares him dead in the eye, unimpressed as he eats the last piece of cold left over pizza that looked abandoned for way too long.

"It's temporary," he shrugs, he's uncaring and messy in ways that make her skin crawl. "How cool would it be, right? Me, Batman. You, Robin," he grins, using his fingers to gesture between the two of them. "Batgirl. Whatever."

"You want me to be your side kick?" She curls her lip, nose scrounging up, disgust apparent.

"Of course, the official term would be receptionist," he says, shrugging as he muffles through scattered paperwork.

She feels afraid to breath properly in this room, the messiness makes her fingers itch and she can't help the irksome feeling that takes over. "What would I have to do, exactly?"

"Answer phone calls, set the files, that kinda stuff. But if you want, we can always get you on the field. You're a Mars, detecting is in your blood."

She wasn't expecting him to throw it out to her like that. She'd expected to negotiate her way to the 'detecting' part of it - she felt positive that it wouldn't be part of the job but he's handing it to her on a golden platter.

She's silent as she revels in this and he's stopped fidgeting with his clutter for all of two seconds when he says, "Tell you what, VMars, you convince your dad to let you work here and the job is yours."

* * *

"Hey, Veronica," Leo smiles in greeting - that happy smile that shows off his pearly whites and his dimples. "How's it going?"

She smiles back, nodding her head as she settles her bag and large white box on the counter. "I'm doing good. It's Christmas break, best part of the year," she chirps and pauses for a moment as she sees the invite for the Sheriff's Department annual Christmas party. She gestures to the poster and asks, "Think Sacks is gonna play Santa again this year?"

"It's either him or Lamb and I don't think Lamb's in a very giving mood."

"Is he ever?" She laughs. Lamb was the Grinch of Christmas. Lamb was the Grinch of the year.

"Are those doughnuts?" He asks, eyeing the white box in front of him. "Can I have one?"

"Sure but only one," she playfully warns, opening it up for him. "Kind of a bribe for my dad."

"Ooh," he laughs, taking a powdered doughnut in his hand. "Bringing out the big guns. You know all you have to do is tilt your head and he'll say yes to anything you want?"

She chuckles, picking up her back and the box. "While true," she says as she moves towards her dad's office. "It wouldn't hurt to get him in a good mood."

"Good luck," he calls out, his mouth full and powder flickering through the air. Veronica grins, giving him a two finger salute.

* * *

It doesn't take much to get her dad in a good mood because her dad was usually in a good mood. Even when he's had bad days at work (or bad days at home when her mom was around) he'd always smile and ask her how her day was. Keith Mars was special like that.

He was the father that never wanted his daughters to see bad days. And when they did, he always tried his best to make it better.

She smiles as he eats the doughnuts and goes on about Cliff's ideas for the Christmas party. Cliff McCormack was her dad's best friend and public defender - the tales they could tell when put in a room together were unbelievable.

She feels nerves worrying her insides because she doesn't really know how to word her request. Taking in a breath, she tries to sound chipper instead of nervous, "I got a job at the mall today."

"Ah, my action figure daughter in the line of retail business," he quips, eyes landing on her as though he were reading her mind. She tries to maintain her smile and he arches a brow, deadpanning, "You hate the mall."

"I like the food court," she gives him a helpless shrug. "And it's less retail and more sit at a desk and answer the phone kinda gig."

He nods, following her words and says, "You mean a receptionist."

"Mmhmm, that," she swallows, letting out a breath. "It's at Van Lowe Investigations."

She catches the exact moment the shock hits him and she tries to mentally revise her counter points for anything he might say. "You wanna work for Vinnie Van Lowe? You've hated him ever since he stole your lollipop when you were nine years old."

Her brows crease, her debates fade away and she wrinkles her nose. "Was that why? I figured it was just 'cause he's annoying."

"So, pry tell, daughter of mine, why do you wanna work with someone that would steal candy from a kid?"

"Beats serving coffee at Java the Hut," she sighs. "He said I could get on the field if I wanted," she peaks at him underneath her lashes and sees the frown. "Nothing hardcore but like taking pictures. You know I have an affinity for photography. I know most of the work will he tedious tasks but there's more opportunity to learn about the things I like. Plus, I get study time while I'm at work so it's like I'm getting paid to study, isn't that cool?"

"Okay," he says, after moments of silence fills the air.

"Okay?" She squeaks out.

"Okay," he repeats. "I don't want you doing more than what you've told me," he tells her, clear and deliberate.

Her heart pounds against her chest, she wasn't expecting him to give in so easily. Her lips fall into an uneasy smile and she jokes, "So no sorting out the files?"

"Outside of your receptionist duties," he clarifies. "You can take pictures but nothing of the dangerous kind. And when you are going on stake outs, you make sure to take Backup with you. If you're working outside the office area, you need to let me know where you are."

"Okay," she nods, he's talking in an all business manner and she's still stuck on the fact that he's already said okay.

"I want you to do things you enjoy, Veronica and you must really want this if you're willing to work with Vinnie. His moral compass is skewered. He'd rather get a bigger paycheck than do what's right. I don't want you to compromise your morals for a job."

"I won't," she clarifies, her eyes staring into his, silently giving him the thank you that's fluttering inside her.

"You sure you wouldn't rather work at Java the Hut? You'd get employee discount on coffee. I doubt Vinnie's even got a kettle in there."

She laughs, relieved and bewildered as she remarks, "Oh, he is gonna get me a coffee machine."

* * *

Veronica has her laptop propped up on the centre of the table and pizza from Cho's ready in a cardboard box for them to dig into.

Meg's already pixelated on the screen in her Care Bears pajamas. "Pizza, again?" Meg arches her brow, giving us that disapproving look of hers.

"Would you look at this?" Veronica holds up her pizza and points out, "It's mushrooms."

"And peppers," Heather helpfully adds with an eager smile as she holds up her slice of pizza to the camera too.

"Yeah, covered in greasy cheese," Meg shakes her head. "You better be having fruits for dessert."

"Mmmm," Veronica hums, thinking of adding the maraschino cherry on top of her sundae that she'd been thinking about for the entire day. "For sure, fruits will be involved."

"Have you guys picked out a tree yet? If you wait for me all the good ones will be gone."

"Daddy and I are going tomorrow," Heather chirps her answer. "Ronica's going to Aspen with Logan."

"Dad's letting you go to Aspen with Logan?" Meg lets out, unable to mask her surprise.

"It's not just me with Logan," Veronica says, shooting a glare to Heather. "It's a group thing. Wallace will be there. So will Mac."

Meg makes humming noises in acceptance. "Just be careful, Vee."

"You know me Veronica Overly Precautious Mars," she chimes before biting into her pizza.

"Where's dad?"

"He's on a date with Alicia," Heather provides, happy and proud.

Veronica sighs, she'd wanted to say that dad was working late.

"Wallace's mom?" Meg let's out, her mouth dropping into a surprised open gasp.

"Mmmhmm," Heather hums and details her enthusiasm for the pairing.

Veronica loves Alicia, she loves the whole Fennel family and so does Meg but it's a delicate situation when you find out your dad is going on dates and living a life you don't know anything about. Veronica had wanted to tell her when she got home - break the news in steps so Meg could see it and feel like she was apart of it. She should have expected Heather to spoil her plans of being subtle. Heather is everything but subtle.

* * *

"Is that coffee I smell? And doughnuts?" Veronica pipes, a smile of awe falling on her face as she reaches Logan.

"A thank you for waking up early," he tilts his head and leans in to meet her mouth. She hums against his lips, kissing him a good morning.

"Keep this up and early bird could be my new nickname," she grins, happily accepting the offered coffee and doughnuts.

It's gonna be a long trip to Aspen but Logan's glad that it's one he's spending with Veronica by his side.


	43. Chapter 43

"So _this_ is how the other half lives," Mac says. "I expected a golden mantle dedicated to the 09er Gods."

"And yet disappointment evades you," Veronica remarks, lips quirked half way up, one hand in Logan's, another on her handbag.

"Tell me, we're going snowboarding," Wallace says, eyes wide with the pamphlet clenched in his hand.

"You're going snowboarding," the blonde offers a counter agreement. "I'm going to sip hot chocolate with Mac and gossip like regular girls do."

"We're of the gossipy type?"

"You're not regular girls."

"Of course you're coming snowboarding."

Mac, Wallace, and Logan all bombard her at the same time.

"I can't snowboard," she shrugs, eyes flickering between her friends and boyfriend. "Besides, I thought it didn't matter what we did as long as we were together?"

"Great then, that settles it," Logan says with all finality and a smile. "I can teach you to snowboard."

* * *

Snowboarding, Veronica finds, is cold and awkward. She's horribly afraid of falling because her layers doesn't stop the ice from getting _everywhere_. But Logan's hands hold hers, gently guiding her with clear, concise directions and words of encouragement that warm her up even with snow stuck up places it has no business being stuck in.

"Sup, Ronnie," Dick calls, swishing passed her, "Cute beanie," he grins. "Woof, woof."

Her nose squashes up and she's ready to snap at him but Mac's already come up from behind him, head tilting ever so slightly as she says, "It actually _is_ a really cute beanie."

Veronica's brows crease, they're gone as fast as they've come and it surprises her how good Mac is at the snowboarding aspect of it all - she recalls Mac telling her of how outdoorsy her parents were, for some reason it doesn't click with the person she knows Mac to be. But her friend is smiling so all is well.

"All that's missing is a good ole' pun," he tells her, and she realizes that in those seconds that she's been staring off at Mac and Dick that he's been staring at her beanie.

"You spend way too much time with my family," she shakes her head.

He grins, like she's complimented him and she sighs. "Come on, aren't you going to show me some fancy pants board moves?" She quizzes, brows high and eyes expectant.

He giggles, bobbing her nose and she doesn't really get it but she smiles because he's cute when he giggles and his eyes do the twinkly thing that makes her get lost in the brownness of it.

* * *

Night comes fast when time is lost between snow and cuddles, giggles and coffee, and kisses with Logan.

She's bunking with Mac and Georgia instead of sharing a room with Logan - an option that was not so subtly hinted by Dick.

She hasn't had a sleepover like this with girl friends since Lilly - as much as she loves Meg and Heather, it just isn't the same.

Mac and Georgia are from opposite sides of the spectrum when it comes to life, boys and philosophies. There's no doubt that Georgia is a good person but Veronica never clicked with her in the same way that she clicked with Mac.

Georgia was moon-y eyed, damsel in distress with Wallace coming to her rescue more often than not. Veronica sees what Wallace likes in her, she's an attractive nice girl that gives Wallace all the attention he needs. Veronica appreciates that she makes Wallace happy but the girl just doesn't get her.

Mac's abilities are what had drawn Veronica to her but it's their mutual love of philanthropy that's made her feel attached to the girl. She can see that Dick's become intrigued by her with their mutual interests and difference of opinions becoming daily arguments - you'd think they were fighting but Veronica could see the spark in his eye and the upwards curve of her lips and it became fairly obvious that they were having fun. Dick took every chance he could to steal her away and Mac's let him - she claims that they're friends and she doesn't really get what Dick's deal is yet.

Veronica doesn't want to tell her that he might actually be serious, she wants Dick to show her that all on his own because that's the only way Veronica would believe that he's sincere and not looking to get laid.

* * *

The streetlights and moon are the only things that illuminates the darkness of the night. The air is cold and Veronica tightens her gown around herself.

She'd said goodnight to Logan awhile ago so she's not really counting on him being awake. But she can't sleep. She doesn't remember the last time she'd slept outside her house without her family. If Logan is sleeping, she doesn't think he'll mind her waking him up and if he's not, he's always good for keeping her company. He's good for a lot of things. But first, hot chocolate.

Hot chocolate to keep her warm and Logan's never said no to a cup - not that she thinks he'll say no to her if she showed up empty handed.

It's chilly in the main hall like air gushing in from an open window or door and she wouldn't put it past an 09er to actually leave the door open inviting in burglars and strays.

She makes her way to the railing, leans over to get a clear view of the door and sees it pushed wide open, stuck in the gushes of snow. She sees directly outside, she sees someone she's never expected to see here. Someone she was assured wasn't coming - Lilly Kane.

And all at once she freezes, her heart stilling before thumping in panicked beats. Because there's Logan - with his arms wrapped around her for all the world to see and Lilly's leaning into him like he's her personal tether to the ground - like if he lets go she'll slip away.

Her face is buried in his chest, her blonde hair falling all over him - leaving the scent that's purely Lilly Kane.

He's saying something in her ear, petting her hair tenderly. It all happens in the span of seconds, but it all feels like time goes in slow motion, like she's moving through water - slowly being pushed down under until she has no air.

Because she can't breathe. Everything feels fuzzy and blurred and she feels like she's watching a scene from a movie and she's nothing but a bystander.

How many times has she seen them stand just like that at school over the years? How could she ever think that she was more than that right there?

Her eyes are glassy, her stomach twists in pain that makes her feel like throwing up and she just needs to leave, put one foot after the other and run but she's stuck - stuck staring at the boy she loves, love another girl.

It's always been them. Ever since forever. It's always been them. Wasn't she just a stop to destination Lilly?

She doesn't know what to think. Everything feels like tainted lies. Everything feels wrong and she forces herself to look away, to move, to go, to be anywhere but here.

Somehow, she gets her legs to move and she runs, hurrying away from this moment that she feels like she's interrupted - she always feels like she's interrupting moments between them and she hates this feeling because he's her boyfriend, not Lilly's. But it's always Lilly. It's always been Lilly. He's always been Lilly's.

Why did she think she belonged anywhere near him? Why did she think she could believe Logan when he said he loved her? She knew better than that. She knew better. How could she be so stupid?

Sinking into her bed, she curls up and clutches the covers between her fingers, eyes squeeze shut and the tears come in shades of betrayal.

She doesn't know which parts of her relationship was real and which was not. No one starts a relationship based on a lie. No one does fake dating and falls in love - maybe it's all been an act all along - an act for themselves.

Maybe from the start they'd just fooled themselves into thinking they were in love. It'd be easier, wouldn't it? Easier that being in love with her sister's boyfriend. Easier than being broken by the girl you truly love time and again.

The deep ache in her heart calls her bluff, she knows that her love for Logan was true and that he must have loved her too - it couldn't have all been lies, could it?

But he'd never love her like he loved Lilly. Even in declarations of her being out of his life, he'd only been fooling himself.

But not Lilly. Lilly always knew that Logan was hers to do what she wished.

He'd always go back to her. Always. It's been this way since the beginning and Veronica felt like an idiot for thinking otherwise.

She wishes she'd never wrote that letter. She wishes she'd never kissed Logan Echolls. She wishes her heart wasn't breaking in pieces and still calling out his name.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Can we pretend that Aspen isn't as far as it actually is? 'Cause it's way further than I thought.

"Thanks for coming to get me," she says, letting out a breath and willing herself to keep it together.

He nods, eyes resting on her for a moment as he asks, "Are you okay?"

She sighs, giving him a smile that she hopes to be reassuring. "I will be."

He nods, handing her a helmet. She accepts and hops on as she tries to nullify the feeling in the pit of her stomach that makes her doubt every thought that's crossed her mind.

All it took was an _I need a favour_ for Weevil to drive all the way to her. It's a thing between them. _Favours._ You scratch my back and I scratch yours.

He revs and pulls away.

She doesn't know how to tell him about Lilly. She doesn't think she has it in her to think about it all and keep her cool. So she doesn't.

They ride with congested noise between them and she focuses on anything but her mind. She looks at the signs, she looks at the trees and the rise of the sun. She focuses on the cold air turning warm and the feeling of Neptune burning back onto her skin.

She's back home and she can breath a little easier. Weevil asks her if she needs anything and she shakes her head no accompanied by an appreciative thank you. They've lost count on who owes whom but she'll remember this the next time he asks for a favour.

She doesn't think there's many people that would drive hours because of a simple call with no real explanation.

"Did Lilly really break up with you?" She asks, her voice quite and croaked. She didn't want to think about it but she has to know if they're together or not. If she has to tell him that she'd caught them in a warm embrace that's much too close, much too loving, much too everything for presumed ex-lovers to be.

He mildly nods, eyes sad and her heart breaks just a little more for him. "She had enough, I guess."

* * *

She stops home for a hot shower, a fresh change of clothes and the keys to Van Lowe Investigations.

Vinnie had given her a set for when she needed to start work, she's got a list of duties - made by herself because he's much to ~~busy~~ lazy to do one himself.

She needs to think of anything but Logan and she figures working is the way to do it.

The hours tick away while she cleans the office, she'd planned on hiring someone to do it but she'd taken to cleaning whenever she felt overly stressed or needed to focus. She liked focusing on messes that weren't her life; Vinnie Van Lowe is the biggest mess she knows.

Her phone has been ringing, the bright smiling face of Logan coming through. He's called and he's sent her messages after messages. She ignores all. Without the alerts, he's still there, grinning in her apron in her kitchen - plastered on her background for everyone to see - she switches off her phone, she's not ready yet.

At 2AM all she'd wanted to do was get away from there, away from the snow and cold, away from Logan, away from the thoughts of him and Lilly, away from the aching of her heart - except it wasn't just her heart, her whole body felt like it could crumble apart. Was that what heartbreak felt like?

6AM on the road with Eli, the sound of the motor coursing through her veins, she'd felt the thoughts disappear and the ache lessen.

Why did everything feel worse at 2AM?

Logan deserves a chance to explain, to make all her worries and doubts fade away into nothingness as she soaks herself in the warmth that resonates solely from within him.

She's going back to fetch Wallace and the gang. There was no way she'd abandon them. She'd wanted them to enjoy the break they were promised and she didn't want to verbalize the conversations she'd had with herself as she tried not to make a sound whilst she cried under the blanket.

In the midst of packing up her things, Mac had stirred awake and Veronica had tried to explain between her heavy jarred breaths that she had to go, Logan and Lilly's names fell from her lips and she couldn't give any explanation. Because how could she have explained what she saw? In all logical sense, she knows, anyone would point out it was just a hug. But was it?

She'd asked Mac if it was okay, if she'd be okay waiting for her to come back. Mac had told her that she could take all the time she needed. She's glad to have the friends she has.

She'll talk to Logan then. Tell him to explain. Tell him to give her time to process. Tell him she's sorry for her doubts, for leaving, for being this way. She wants to trust Logan - except she's _been_ trusting Logan, dismissing visits and calls as signs of friendship until he had drawn his lines.

She remembers. She remembers every word he'd said. _You have a problem with Veronica, you're dead to me._ He'd drawn his lines so why was he crossing it? She needed to know. She needed explanations. She needed them to have a chance.

She wishes she weren't her mother's daughter. Maybe she'd be different. Maybe she'd be in Aspen, wrapped in Logan's arms and not have this voice in this head that doubts every little thing that brings her happiness.

"Yo, kid," Vinnie says, stepping into view with a fake moustache plastered on his face. "Thought you were gonna start from the new year."

She shrugs, grabbing her coat and bag as she says, "One more paycheck wouldn't hurt." The office is clean and leaves her feeling a sense of satisfaction that only comes from putting order in chaos. She walks over to him and tilts her head. "You've got a little something on your face."

"What?" His brows crease with deep concern as he tries to dust his face. "Potato chip?"

Veronica clicks her tongue with the rooftop of her mouth, then grasps onto the end of the moustache and rips it off in one swift movement.

"That is not cool," he complains, rubbing underneath his nose.

Her lip curves and her eyes clearly say that she's not at all sorry. "Neither was the 'stash."

* * *

"You okay?" Wallace asks, giving her a hug when she arrives.

She nods, assuring smile peaks at him. "Did you see Logan?"

He nods. "Mac told me what happened," he sighs in deep thought. He looks at her and says, "I remember him leaving, I thought he was meeting you but," he struggles with getting the words out, disbelieving of them himself. "Logan never came back to his room. At least not until the sun was already out."

She swallows the lump caught in her throat and tries to reign in the dampness in her eyes. She can't say anything, the words won't come and she feels defeated before she's even started her fight. Wallace pulls her into him, hugging her close until she's okay to face the world again, whispering words of _I'm sorry_ and _it's going to be okay._

"Veronica," she hears Logan call from afar and she wants to stay hidden in Wallace's embrace or run. Run into her car and drive off.

He's running toward them and she wills herself to stay rooted, her heart thumps in wild, out of order, beats and her body feels like nerves on fire.

She tells Wallace to get the girls, that she'll be okay. He gives a reluctant nod and leaves her be.

Her blue eyes stare at Logan until he comes to a still before her, the air is chilled but his breathing frantic, panicked and eyes wide, begging her to stay.

"It isn't what you think, I promise. Nothing happened between me and Lilly last night," he say, the moment he stops before her. She wonders who told him. If it was Mac or Wallace or both.

She has a thousand thoughts spinning in her head but she simply asks, "Then why didn't you go to your room last night? Are you saying you weren't with Lilly?"

"I was," he sighs. "I was but just as a friend, she needed a friend and I'm the only friend she had."

She's welling up with emotions she'd thought she'd had in control. "I saw you two. You were holding her. She was in your arms. I saw everything."

"If you'd seen everything, then you'd know it isn't anything like that," his brown eyes stare desperately into hers, willing her to believe him, to listen to him. "She was crying and I couldn't just leave her."

"What could Lilly Kane possibly be crying for?"

"Veronica, I can't, I can't tell you that yet."

He says it like he's protecting Lilly from her and she doesn't understand why, she wasn't the one that drew out this battlefield, marked sides and called out attacks. Lilly decided that. He decided that. All she'd ever did was try to understand. She's been trying and she doesn't, she can't take it anymore.

"She wasn't even supposed to be here," she insists. "You told me that she wouldn't be," her voice cracks up, the hurt from him denying her that explanation apparent.

He's moving closer to her, trying to comfort her and assure her at the same time, "I didn't know that she would be."

She closes her eyes, backing away from him and shakes her head. "Everything always comes back to her," she gets out, the ache in her chest growing bigger with each second she stands in front of him. She sees Wallace out of the corner of her eye, indicating that they can come over, that she's ready to go. "You told her that she was out of your life but no matter what, it'll always be her, won't it?"

"No, Veronica, no," he pleads, going for her hand, trying to get her to understand him. "It's complicated."

She wants to tell him to uncomplicated it for her and she can see that he's trying to think, trying to find words to explain, and she can see in his eyes that he's hurting too. She wishes she didn't. She wishes he weren't hurting. She wishes she didn't hurt for him too. Because this would have been so much more easier if he was just a jackass that used her. She doesn't know what happened between him and Lilly but it's apparent that Lilly's priority one and she's not.

"I'm tired of being second best or fake best," she sighs, opening her car door and he grabs her hand for a second, begging her to face him.

"You were never second best."

"I wish I could believe you."


	45. Chapter 45

There's not much she learns at the office that she doesn't already know - and the things she does learn, she doesn't really want to know (see: Vinnie Van Lowe singing _Private Eyes)_.

And so she asks him, simply and directly to let her help on a case or go on a stakeout, all she needs to do is know how to use a camera (she doesn't mean to brag but her photography skills are enough to be called skills).

She's not surprised that he's surprised, she's been here for all of three days. He tells her, emphatically, that photography isn't all that's to it before shrugging in agreement that she can tag along and learn the ropes.

She wishes she could learn from anyone other than Vinnie Van Lowe but Vinnie is all she has.

He plays the fool; get's people's guard down and let's them underestimate him to get the information he needs. She's always found it infuriating that her brain was judged by her petite figure and blonde hair. She learns now that it's not a weakness; it's a weapon.

* * *

She meets Duncan at _Java the Hut_ , she doesn't have much of an appetite - hasn't had much of an appetite since that night in Aspen - but she gets cake, the chocolate kind that should help make her feel better (she doesn't think anything would).

Duncan orders pie and coffee and it feels like it's been forever since they've hung out (it kind of has been).

They're across each other with badly sung karaoke as background noise. "Is it me or does karaoke night attract every _Tritons_ reject?"

"We've got to put our musical aspirations somewhere," he cracks a smile with his joke.

"I still can't believe you wanted to be a _Triton_ , am I gonna see you on _America's got Talent_ next?"

"Oh, so you don't think I've got talent?"

"Prove me wrong, Kane."

"Like you're so much better."

"Child, please, I could give the _Tritons_ a run for their money."

He laughs. "So how's it feel to be a part of the working class?"

"I feel more like a trainee than anything else. It's different," she says. She wants to add, the realm of ethics doesn't seem to exist, manipulation is a rite of passage and being a girl has more perks than she's ever taken credit for. But she knows she can't tell Duncan any of that. He wouldn't understand this part of her, she's not even sure she understands the lengths she'll go to to find out the truth.

"As long as you're happy," he says, sweet smile and caring blue eyes.

She nods, offering an assuring smile and then asks, "Is everything going alright at home?"

Duncan shrugs. "Same ole' same ole'. Lilly's lashing out. Dad and mom fight about it. I've kind of tuned it out."

"Ah," she lets out, fork carving out a piece of her chocolate cake. "The perks of having your mother run off on you. No more middle of the night arguments."

Duncan gives an uncomfortable chuckle as he agrees with her. "Is everything okay with you and Logan?"

She bites her lip, despite all her efforts, Logan never left her mind. Logan's partly the reason she asked Duncan to hangout. She wanted to know the truth behind Lilly's actions. She wants to understand. She knows it wouldn't fix everything between them but needs to know for sure what had happened. She isn't all that surprised that Duncan doesn't know anything - if he did, he wouldn't be asking her that.

"We broke up."

Stopping mid bite of his pie, he stares at her with widen eyes and his mouth half open. She can see that he doesn't know what to say, so she continues, "In Aspen. Lilly was there. They were hugging, well past midnight. I freaked. Then Wallace said Logan had been gone all night. Logan wouldn't tell me why."

She hates that her breath stammers over Logan's name and that her heart betrays her all over again because all those feelings still rush up and she can't seem to get rid of it - no matter how hard she tries.

It takes him seconds to pull out of his thoughts "We have a cabin there," he says. "Not too far from the Casablancas. Dad went to LA so we decided not to go. Lilly must have decided that she really wanted to go. I'm sorry. But Logan never deserved you anyway. You were always too good for him."

She tries to smile and thank him but she can't get it out. She knows he's trying to make her feel like she'd made the right choice but it hurts. Despite it all, this isn't want she wants to hear about Logan. She doesn't want him to insult Logan. She doesn't know what she wants but she doesn't want that.

* * *

Duncan drops her home and she waves him goodbye. At the very least, she's got her friend back.

"Honey, I'm home," Veronica calls out as she closes the door.

"So am I, honey," Meg says, bright smile and even brighter eyes.

Veronica turns, surprised eyes and growing smile. "Meg, you're home!" She laughs, disbelieving as rush to hug each other. "Oh my God. How are you here? I thought you were getting in on Friday."

"I finished my exams early," she grins, brushing Veronica's hair from her face. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

"I missed you so much," Veronica lets out, hugging her sister tight.

"I missed you too," Meg says, soft and heartwarming. "Why didn't you tell me you've got a job? With Vinnie Van Lowe, no less?" She asks, quizzing, the softness turned curious with a head tilt that hides none of the judgement.

"I was planning on starting next year. I was gonna tell you about it when you got home," she offers as retribution. "A job's a job. What does it matter if it's serving coffee in a restaurant or in an office?"

Her sister's brow arches up, doubting her words. "Is serving coffee really all you're doing?"

"The more the better, right?" Veronica shrugs as though she's indifferent to it but the _more_ is the reason she decided on this job. "I spoke to dad about it, what's with the Spanish Inquisition anyway?"

"It's Vinnie Van Lowe. His work isn't all that kosher."

"We're not Jewish. Besides, in the grand scheme of things, he isn't even the worst person we know."

"These late nights are gonna affect your grades, did you even think about that?"

"My 4.0 GPA is still intact. Stanford's been my dream since elementary, Meg, I'm not gonna screw that up." She doesn't want to fight with Meg, she doesn't know why she this feels like a fight. She takes in a deep breath and lets out, "So how was your flight?"

* * *

Veronica is happy Meg's home. She's missed her sister, she's saved up things she'd wanted to tell her. But maybe that's the problem.

It started with her job - which she hadn't meant to keep from Meg - it all happened so fast and it got to the point where she thought it'd be better to tell her once she came home.

There's a lot of things Veronica stored away in the back of her mind under things to share with Meg when she came home.

It doesn't go the way she plans; they don't eat ice cream and gossip or bake cookies and catch up. Meg notices changes and _comments_ and all Veronica could think is _I meant to tell you about that._

She feels bad about it. She does. But does Meg really have to get so snippy with her about it? It's hard remembering every little thing over the phone (and she admits that her getting a job falls into the list of big things but she doesn't know how to explain that working in the underbelly of Neptune is the only thing that makes her feel like she's doing something worthwhile).

There's nothing she can do about it now, she can't press rewind and include Meg in all of those moments that's passed. She thinks, she should have messaged her right away, taken pictures and shared these things with her.

Maybe then Meg wouldn't be staring so intently at Alicia and Keith during dinner. Maybe then Meg wouldn't flinch at her and Wallace's bunk mate jokes. Maybe then when Duncan came to return her bag she'd forgotten in his car, Meg wouldn't have stormed off into her room.

"I didn't know she was home," Duncan says, helpless.

"She came back early," Veronica lets out a heavy sigh.

She hadn't meant to not tell Meg that she'd hung out with Duncan. The whole situation with Duncan was awkward because there's so much between her and Duncan that Meg doesn't know about. There's so much in her life that Meg doesn't know about and she doesn't know how to explain any of it; the letters, Duncan, Logan, Lilly. She can't explain any of it. She just wants her sister back and for things to go back to normal - the way it was before she'd left to New York.

* * *

"Hey, Sam," Veronica says to Vinnie who's leaning back on his chair with his legs up on his desk and a flyer in his hand as he chews on the last piece of his sandwich.

"Hey, Ralph," he grins. "Did you bring me gummy worms?"

She rolls her eyes and digs into her bag as she throws the small packet to him. "You're such a baby."

"You're gonna want snacks on today's case," he says, already ripping the packet open. "Tailing and stakeouts, VMars. The only thing worse is the paperwork."

"Which you never bother to do anymore," she points out, looking pointedly at the growing paperwork on his desk.

"It's what I got you for," he quips, getting up on his feet.

"So what do we have?"

"Classic, cheating spouse."

* * *

She gets a flask full of coffee as preparation for the stakeout and an apple if she gets hungry.

"You had to bring your dog, huh?" Vinnie shakes his head, looking at the brown pitbull who stares at him, daring him to move.

"Dad's condition is to take Backup," she shrugs, she has a bag set for Backup; water, dog treats and his rope to chew on while they waited.

She should have taken a look at the case, asked for more details but she'd been fidgeting with equipment and learning about bugs, tracers and hidden cameras in ordinary objects.

So it takes her by surprise when she realizes that they've stopped in front of _Kane Software_. She's completely thrown when she learns that their target is none other than Software Billionaire Jake Kane himself.

Veronica scoffs, disbelieving. She knew that their family had their issues, Duncan used to come by just to get away from it all but she never thought that Jake Kane would do something like this to his family. Wasn't he the poster man for family guy?

"Are you seriously telling me that the _beloved_ Jake Kane is cheating on his wife?"

Vinnie shrugs, unphased. "You'll be surprised what people are capable of."

She blinks, staring at the large glass window and the silhouette of a man leaving the office. She's lived with an alcoholic until she abandoned them without so much as a goodbye. She shouldn't be surprised of what people can be capable of. But here she is, still surprised.

"Why would Celeste even think he's cheating on her?"

He shakes his head, eyes in front as he starts the engine to follow Jake Kane. Vinnie had lo-jacked Jake's car, so they could follow him without being seen.

Lo-jacking was convenient like that. She thinks if regular people knew how to use them, private investigators would be out of a lot of work.

"Wrong Kane," he cocks his head. "Lilly Kane is the one that hired us."

Veronica's brows crease, eyes stare wide in surprise but Vinnie doesn't notice or care as he continues, "Says she caught him in Aspen with some hussy, wants us to find out who it is. She left before he saw her. Lucky for us she didn't get any pictures to go along with her accusations."

Her heart thumps wildly in her heart and everything starts to make sense. This was why. _This had to be why_. Lilly hated her mother but she loved her father. If she saw her father with another woman, that kind of betrayal would make any girl cry.

She wishes Logan would have told her, cleared it up that the reason he was with Lilly was because she found out her father cheated. She wouldn't have expected Logan to turn Lilly away when he's been through the same thing.

Why couldn't Logan have just trusted her and told her the truth? She would have understood. _She understands_. How could she begrudge them for this? She knows what it's like to be betrayed by a parent too. Why couldn't he have just trusted her with the truth? Fight to clear up the misunderstandings she had instead of letting her walk away - walk away from him - them.

They follow him all the way to Camelot and Veronica knows that Jake Kane is guilty. _You didn't have to be a private detective to know what goes on at the Camelot motel._

"Guess the girl was right," Vinnie remarks. "Not a lot of high powered business meetings take place at the Camelot at one in the morning."

She angles the camera to face the motel, ready to get the money shot, she doesn't know how long it would be and she figures this is what Vinnie means when he says it's boring but she watches the door like a hawk while Vinnie yaps at either her or Backup and eats his candy.

She doesn't say much of anything as she tries to concentrate because all she can think about is Logan.

"Keep the camera, ready, Mars," he reminds, chewing on liquorice when he sees Jake exit the room.

"All right lady, let’s see ya," Veronica blows out, snapping several pictures but the woman in question never comes into view. It's only when she snaps pictures of Jake climbing down the stares and driving away that she sees a familiar car. She snaps a picture of the license plate and sucks in a breath. She knows this car. She knows this license plate; _4VG-000._

She stares back at the room, takes another deep breath and says, "I know who he's with."

"You do?" He arches a brow, staring at her expectantly to share the information.

She meets his gaze and lets out, "It's my mom."

She jumps out of the car, ignoring the sound of Vinnie calling her name and she's racing up the stairs. She takes a moment, staring at the number on the door before she knocks.

She doesn't know what to expect or what to say but her mother is here in Neptune. Anger guts at her, she's here in Neptune for Jake Kane and not her - for their family. Did Lianne even qualify as family anymore?

The door opens after two knocks and even though Veronica knew her mother was on the other side of this door, she feels the air being knocked out of her.

"Veronica," her mother says, stunned and then repeats her name in that motherly tone that she has no right to use anymore.

Veronica's words are caught in her throat and she just stands there, staring and Lianne shifts uncomfortably at the door before offering her entrance.

"What are you doing with Jake Kane?"

Her eyes strain with unsheathed tears. This woman abandoned them when they needed her the most. This woman that decided to get her life together for another family instead of her own. Only to apparently rip it apart for Jake Kane.

 _Why would she come back to Neptune for Jake Kane and not for us?_ That's the real question she wants to ask.

"Why don't you sit? Do you want some water?" Lianne asks, evasive and nervous as she fidgets about.

"No, I asked you a question," Veronica stares at her, trying to reign in her emotions and look as intimidating as possible.

"I'm sorry, honey," Lianne says, soft whisper and helpless look in her eye as she reaches to touch her.

Veronica jerks back, breathing turns into a ragged mess that she has to concentrate on to not fall apart. "Don't," she warns. "All we ever did was love you. And all you ever did was love yourself," she can't hide the disgust in her voice.

She'd spent all her years thinking of questions for her mother that she'd laid them to rest when she saw her with her new family - but here Lianne was; lying, cheating, drinking and falling back into old patterns.

"Do you know that Meg lives in New York now? She's studying journalism and she's been more of a mother to me than you ever were. Heather's top of her grade, she's funny and smart and she'll be just like dad and nothing like you. We're all doing fine without you," she tells her, angry tears falling down her face as she gets the words out.

She shouldn't feel guilty when Lianne starts to cry. She shouldn't listen to Lianne’s excuses and life's regrets. But she does. She stands and listens to what Lianne has to say; she talks about how her husband was a con artist that's imprisoned and her step daughter's following in his footsteps. She talks about Hunter; the half brother she's never met. She talks about Jake Kane, how they were so in love as high school sweetheart and a man she could never stop loving no matter how hard she tried. She talked about leaving for herself and not because of any of them. She talks about her addictions and not being strong enough to fight it.

Veronica silently listens (despite her need to scream and fight every sentence that comes out of her mother’s mouth) and then tells her to never come back into their lives and to never come back to Neptune.

She always wished her mother would come back. She knows now that she never wants her to.

The bridges between them had burned to ash a long time ago. She couldn't go back in time. She couldn't fix what had gone wrong. She couldn't make Lianne love her more than her addictions.

She doesn't want anything to do with Lianne Mars or Lianne Scott or whatever she goes by now and she doesn't want her to come back into their lives only to mess it up again. Her family deserved better than that.

* * *

She sits on the hood of her car outside of Logan's house with only the moonlight and streetlamps to give her light.

He hurries out in a track pants and hoodie, face etched in concern, rightly so, considering she hasn't spoken to him in days, ignoring all points of contact and now she's outside his house at three in the morning - she’s sure she’s woken him from his sleep but he looks as alert as ever.

"You knew, didn't you?" She accuses, wounds fresh and eyes vengeful. "You knew about Jake and my mother and you didn't tell me."

"I'm so sorry," Logan says, anguish and concern behind brown eyes. "I didn't know if it was really your mom. I needed to know before I told you anything," he confesses. "How'd you find out?"

He says _I_ but she knows he means _we_ (the we being him and Lilly).

"It was my job to find out," she grits, she sounds harsh and she knows it's unfair because she's not angry at him, she's angry at her mother. She's angry at this situation. "I started working for Vinnie."

He stares at her, soft and concern apparent. "I thought you were starting next year."

She takes a breath, trying to calm herself down. "I needed to focus on something that wasn't you," she confesses, voice dipped low but the words come clear in the silence of the night.

Hope resides in his eyes, he steps closer to her, hugging her and she lets him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I let things get this way. I'm sorry about your mom."

"I know," she whispers, warm breath sinking into his chest.

"All I care about is you, Veronica," he whispers, forehead resting on hers as the warmth of his hands comfort her. "All Lilly and I did was talk about her dad, her family, she thought the person he was with was your mom but it's been years since she's seen her. I needed to be sure, to have proof before I said anything about it which is why I told her to go to Vinnie."

"I wish you'd told me," she lets out, exhausted. "I wish you'd came to me and let me help figure it out."

"I didn't want you to get hurt." He tucks her hair behind her ears and rests his palm on her cheek.

"I got hurt anyway," she says, voice quiet. "I get it now that I know the truth but all you had to do was be honest with me and you didn't do that. I need honesty, no matter what. I need honesty so I can trust you."

He nods, head on hers, promising it all to her. "I hate that I hurt you when all I wanna do is protect you."

"I don't need protecting, Logan,” she says, tired breath escapes her as she looks into his eyes. “I just need you."

He pulls away slightly, kissing her hair and he can’t help himself but to ask, "Does this mean we're okay?"

She sighs. "We're going to be,” she tells him. “I just need some time."

"Take all the time you need," he presses a kiss to her forehead. "Just come back to me, please,"

"Always," she leans into him and his arms wrap around her like he's welcoming her home. Like he is home.


	46. Chapter 46

Standing with five hours of sleep, Veronica mixes together the ingredients for her classic Christmas sugar cookies.

Heather strolls into the kitchen, plops on the chair opposite her sister about to complain about her hunger when she notices Veronica's visible eye bags and drawn in expression. She knows something is wrong. She knows something's _been_ wrong ever since she got back from her trip. "Ronica?" The girl in question hums as she focuses on her task at hand. "Are you okay?"

Veronica looks at her sister and gives her a mild nod accompanied with a reassuring smile. "I'm just tired."

she stares at her sister's face and says, "You look like a zombie."

Veronica halts in her movements, gazes up to her little sister with a mischievous quirked smile as she holds up her flour covered hands out to Heather's face and in her best zombie voice says, "I want to eat your brains."

Heather's eyes widen, shocked and panicked as Veronica rounds the counter with her messy hands. With a high screeching yelp, the little girl leaps off her chair and runs away.

Backup scurries to his feet, alert and looking for danger and then wags his tail wildly when he realises that there's no real threat to be seen.

Veronica grins, making a show of chasing her for a minute before retreating back into the kitchen, Backup follows and reverts back to laying down.

It doesn't take long for Heather to come back into the kitchen, this time with her purple skipping rope in hand. "Are you gonna be human again or do I have to restrain you to get my breakfast?" She asks, tilting her head with an arched brow as she pulls her rope in a tight straight line.

Veronica cocks a brow, eyes settling on her sister's. "That depends. Are you gonna be insulting again or do you wanna be _my_ breakfast?" She grins, not at all threatened as she wiggles her fingers, showing Heather that she isn't afraid to get messy.

Heather swallows, lowering her skipping rope, she settles, "The option that gets _Froot Loops_ in my mouth." She says it in the way that makes it seem like she's not at all forfeiting as she walks to the cupboard.

"The option that gets you _Froot Loops_ requires you to wait 'cause Meg and Dad are out grocery shopping," Veronica tells her as she meshes together the dry ingredients and the wet ones.

"Urg," Heather groans, closing the cupboard door. "I'm starving," she complains, slumping onto the bar stool.

"You want some eggs?" Veronica asks, the first thing coming to her mind that she knows she had enough of.

"With some cheese?" The little Mars perks up in her seat. "And buttered toast?"

"Sure," she shrugs. "And I'll even throw in some hot chocolate if you help clean up afterwards," she bargains.

Immediately, she quizzes, "Do I get the tiny marshmallows?"

"Sure," Veronica agrees, setting aside the cookie mix for the time being as she goes to rinse off her hands and prepare the eggs.

Heather stays put, humming, hands on the counter her eyes follow her sister and then asks, "Is Logan coming to the Christmas party?"

Veronica stills at the question. She hadn't spoken to her family about Logan, about Aspen, about last night. She hasn't told them anything; she didn't know what to say to them. She doesn't know how to explain her situation with Logan without telling them everything that's happened and she doesn't want to tell them. They don't need the heartache. What good would it do them to learn about Lianne? There's no reassuring answers that _mummy loves us_ in this tale and she doesn't want to bring that burden to her family. They deserved more than that.

"I didn't ask him," she answers in the most honest way she can. She gets why Logan's made the decisions he's made. Even when she'd thought the worst of him, she couldn't stop her heart from loving him. Right now, she just needs time to figure out how to trust him again.

He's kept this big thing from her, she knows he had the best intentions but his choices still hurt her.

Heather inquisitively continues to question her sister, "Why not?"

Dismissively, Veronica replies, "I don't think he wants to hang out with a bunch of deputies. Can you pass me the salt, please?"

Heather drags herself out of her chair and obliges, remarking, "I think he'd like to hang out with us."

Veronica knows she can't argue about this with Heather so instead she asks her to check on Backups water and fills the minutes it takes for her eggs and toast to get ready with menial tasks to avoid further questioning.

* * *

When Keith and Meg come back home, Heather's got _The Princess Bride_ playing on the television, munching on popcorn as Veronica doughs together another recipe off the list.

"I hope you're hungry, 'cause we've got Mama Leone's," Keith sings, dangling the bag tantalizingly in the air.

Veronica breaks out into a wide grin, "My favourite."

"I could eat," Heather calls out from her seat still munching on her popcorn.

"Veronica!" Meg loud-whispers, coming around the counter with a giddy smile. "You'll never guess who I ran into!"

"Hmmm," Veronica hums in fake thought, rolling out her cookie dough. "Was it Carlita, Biff, or Rocco? They always were our favourite imaginary friends."

Meg rolls her eyes good-naturedly, her smile never falling from her lips as she says, “Hamilton Cho.”

Veronica’s brow quirks at the enthusiasm radiating from the name. She knows him. Everyone does. His father owns _Cho’s Pizza._ He used to be in Meg’s class but she doesn’t recall them being particularly friendly. She doesn’t know how to respond to it so she says, “Was it awkward with you carrying takeout from Mama Leone’s?”

Her brows furrow at the question, shaking her head she dismisses it and continues, “Did you know he goes to NYU too? I mean, I’ve never seen him before.”

“It is a big school,” the petite blonde offers, shrugging.

“He wanted to hang out,” she says, biting her lip and eyes bright. “I asked him to come to the Christmas party.”

Duncan flashes through her mind like a red stop light and she fights the urge to question her sister about Duncan and if she’s sure about this. She fights it because the familiarity of standing in their kitchen with her hands pressed into cookie dough as they chat about anything and everything is something Veronica’s found herself needing ever since Meg left – and especially since Meg came back home.

Instead she grins and teases Meg with everything she knows about Hamilton Cho.

“The food is getting cold,” Keith calls from the lounge.

“Inconceivable!” Heather mimics loud enough for her sisters to hear.

Without missing a beat, Veronica quotes back in response, “You keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means.”

* * *

"What?" Veronica asks, she's got her leg up on the bathroom sink and tries to shave as quickly as she can without cutting herself while Mac's stands behind her, grinning as though she's got an inside joke with herself.

The brunette shakes her head, letting out a silent chuckle. "Miss Mars uses Venus razor."

Amused, Veronica smiles and remarks, "Because if she doesn't, her legs look like Pluto’s."

"And she's down-to-earth to boot," Mac quips with a grin and Veronica laughs.

For the last few days, Veronica had been cooped up at home baking for the upcoming Christmas party or helping Inga with the planning arrangements or at work. Wallace – demanding BFF time – had convinced her to take time for a beach trip. She knows he just wants to test out his toy plane (he’d just finished fixing it after an unfortunate collision with the wall).

* * *

"Man, this new wet suits like a cheap motel. No ballroom," Dick says, snapping the latex suit against his crotch as he walks with Logan up shore. They’re both dripping with water having just finished a much needed surfing session. 

Logan shakes his head at Dick, carrying his surf board with one hand and running his fingers through his wet hair with the other. They come to a stand still when a flying object comes crashing into the sandy ground. “Hey, look a toy plane,” Dick says, going to pick it up.

”Don’t touch the plane,” Wallace shouts from a few feet away, jogging to catch up to his plane while Veronica and Mac follow behind him.

Everything fades into background noise when Logan sees her, she stops shortly in front of him, her blue eyes staring into his and he silently sucks in a breath.

"Hey," she says, offering a half smile without turning her gaze away from him.

His eyes solely focused on hers as he takes in her presence and lets out, "Hey."

It’s in this moment that she truly feels how much she’s missed him, it’s only been a few days and this tug in her heart makes it feel it’s been months. She mentally checks herself, _remember the rules, Mars – no pining, no whining. Keep it light._

“Hey hey, look who’s slumming it at the beach,” Dick grins, head bobbing up and down as he checks out both the girls. "Hey, we're blowing off a little dead-week steam if you kids want to hang.”

* * *

While Wallace tends to his crashed plane, the rest of them make themselves comfortable on the benches - except it’s Dick that makes himself comfortable next to Mac and Veronica’s left to fill the space next to Logan which makes it all the more difficult for her to keep her cool.

"So,” he starts, eyes drifting over her form to the fading fire. He has so much to tell her. He wants to tell her how much he’s missed her. He wants to tell her that it seems like even his mother and Trina miss her. He wants to tell her that she’s all he thinks about even when he tries not to. “Heather wants me to come to the Christmas party," he glances at her and sees her brow pick up in surprise and her gaze land on him. "Is that cool?"

"You've been talking to Heather?" She swallows, trying to keep her emotions at bay but his question brings about agitation in her and she feels warmth surging from within; it’s this convoluted package of feelings that she had needed a break from so she could sort out her feelings between her head and her heart. Seeing Logan, being with Logan, speaking with Logan makes it impossible for her to make sense of anything.

He tries to keep his tone as casual as possible but he knows he’s not as nonchalant as he wants to him. Even a simple _hey_ makes him feel things. "We have our matches more often now that she's on break.” He pauses, letting her process, assuming that this hasn’t come up in conversation between the two sisters. “She asked me if we broke up."

A quiet gasp escapes her and she stares at him in shock. “She asked you that?” She lets out a breath. “What'd you tell her?"

_They were playing together in an online Mario Kart championship when she'd broached the subject of his and Veronica’s relationship. He'd tried his best to not say much, lightly joking that they were on a Christmas break - he hadn't wanted Heather to worry but in the saddest and quietest of voices she'd asked him, "Don't you love her anymore?"_

_It's the way she sounds that makes him wish he had lied and given her an excuse for not being physically present. "Of course I do," he says, honest and soft._

_"Then why are you on a break if you still love her?" She asks, urgent and confused. She tries on concentrating on the game but she's more in tuned with the sound of his voice._

_He sighs and he knows he can't explain everything to her so he gives her half a truth because despite his want to lie to Heather, he can't really bring himself to it. "Because I screwed up."_

_"How?" She demands, completely losing focus what's in front of her as she listens._

_"I did something I shouldn't have," he vaguely says, knowing he should stop talking about this with her now. There's nothing more he can tell her. "Look, kid, you’re falling behind," he intentionally remarks on the game trying to take her focus from his relationship back onto the game._

_Ignoring his last comment, she insistently asks, "Did you tell her you were sorry?"_

_"Yes," he sighs._

_"Like, in a way so she knows you mean it?"_

_"Yeah. Look Heather, don't worry about it, okay? You need to keep your mind on the race, you're getting beat, kid."_

"The truth,” he confesses. “The parts of the truth that I could tell her anyway. I didn’t know how to _not_ tell her."

“She’s too nosy for her own good,” Veronica grumbles, sighing. She wonders if Heather gave the same inquisition to Duncan when him and Meg broke up or if she's over compensating now because she didn't.

He chuckles, teasing, “It must be in the genes."

She gives him a half-hearted huffing laugh before turning it into a little smile. “Thank you.”

His heart thumps. “For what?”

“Keeping your promises,” she softly tells him.

* * *

Heather happy bounces in her room with the phone in her hand, Ophelia shakes her head chuckling at her overly hyped best friend.

“Hello?” Comes the voice of a groggy Logan.

Without wasting time on pleasantries, she speedily explains, "I called KRAC like two hundred times. I kept getting this recording, and then finally, I got through. They're gonna play my request."

“I really wish you hadn’t done that,” his soft voice comes through.

Heather chooses to ignore him, opening her room door, she yells with the phone pressed to her chest. “Ronica! You've got to turn on the radio."

"Why?" Her sister shouts back from downstairs.

Impatiently, Heather demands, "Just do it!"

_“To a very special girl. So, if you're out there and you're listening, Veronica...”_

Veronica’s eyes widen, she stills frozen in time as she listens to the DJ.

_“This is from Logan. He's sorry, girl, and he wants you back.”_

Meg lets out an audible gasp, eyes wide and giddy as the _oh my god_ slips out.

Upstairs, Heather stands with complete and total satisfaction as she listens to _Nick Lachey’s What’s Left of Me_ play from downstairs. “You’re gonna thank me,” she says with her smuggest tone as she ends the call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the last.


	47. Chapter 47

"I love the smell of testosterone in the morning," Veronica quips when she spots Lamb taking out pictures with his flexed muscles.

Straightening up, he acts like he wasn't just striking poses. His face scrounges up, annoyed as ever when he sees one of the _trouble making kids_ of Keith Mars, and remarks, "It's not bring your kid to work day."

"One, it's a public building," she counts on her finger. "Two, I've got a list and I'm checking it twice," she wiggles her note book of things to be done before the Christmas party that evening.

"Whatever Rudolph," he grunts dismissively and moves to leave.

_Santa's the one with the list_ , she mentally corrects and waves him off, taunting, "Later, _Grinch_."

"Vehronika," she hears from behind her.

Turning around with a ready smile on her lips, she warmly greets her party planner partner, "Hi, Inga."

* * *

"Heather, we're not supposed to be back here," Ophelia hastily whispers, eyes darting around wildly to see if anyone is looking at them.

"If you keep saying things like that then it's gonna draw attention," she whispers back, tugging her to come along.

Destination reached, Heather closes the door as quietly as she can and in hush whispers reminds, "If we wanna start our own Christmas decoration business, they've got to see the merchandise!"

Ophelia sighs, complying, knowing there's truth to her words but there's a heaviness in her gut that screams this is a bad idea.

"Quick, let me climb on you," the little blonde instructs.

"Heather!" The brunette stares, wide eyed and unwilling with her arms crossed over her chest.

Heather tilts her head and stares at her before sighing in exasperation, "Ophelia, come on!"

Caving, she snaps, "Make it quick!"

Climbing on her best friend's shoulders, Heather stretches up and places her wooden reindeer ornament made of sticks, glue and paint.

Satisfied, she asks, "Hand me another one."

Eyes wide, Ophelia stares at the box that's sitting on the counter two inches too far from her grasp and she gulps. "It's too far."

Heather looks at the box, biting her lip as she tries to estimate the distance between them and the counter. "Think you can move without me tumbling down?"

"I don't know," she quivers. "How are you gonna get down?"

"Same way I got on?"

"I don't think I can bend the same."

"Okay, just lean a bit to the shelf and I'll use it as balance."

Ophelia takes a deep breath, all their weight had been held by the fact that she was still. Her heart thumps in loud erratic beats as she moves forward.

The moment she does Heather wobbles above her, the blonde calls her to a halt as she clings to the branch of the tree to prevent them from crashing down.

"Heather," Ophelia panics, she notices the ornaments jingling along with the branches.

"It's okay, it's okay. Nothing fell," she soothingly says, trying to calm the girl beneath her down. "I'm gonna climb onto this shelf, okay? Then you can hand me the ornaments."

Taking in a deep breath, Ophelia lets out, "okay."

Stumbling to keep herself steady, in two spastic steps, Ophelia reaches the shelf. Heather latches her hand onto the wooden shelf, readying herself to climb it and Ophelia tries her best to help her.

They both breath in relief when Heather gets a stable balance on the shelf.

"For the record, this is a really bad idea," Ophelia says as she hands over one ornament at a time.

"We're already doing it, Felia, a little too late for regrets."

Within minutes, Heather places the final touches and starts to climb her way down with Ophelia trying to help her.

She wobbles, losing her footing on the way down. Ophelia gasps, holding the blonde as tightly as she can while Heather murmurs the repeated reassurances of _I’m okay_ only to freeze at the sound of the cart - the cart that _just so happened_ to be the wheels of the Christmas tree - crashing into the door.

They stare, paralysed and numb, when the lone angel on the top of the tree falls to the ground, shattering it into unholy pieces of porcelain.

" _Son_ of a _nutcracker_."

* * *

The community hall is dawned in traditional colours of red, green and white. Veronica's dressed in black with a cheerful Christmas hat as she settles the closed boxes of cookies on the table. She counts to make sure that she's brought batches of the different types of cookies that she's made and she lingers on the fruit cake cookies, her finger tracing the label.

_"What cookie are you making that needs raisins?" Meg asks, brows furrowed, unable to think of a time they'd ever used raisins in their recipes._

_As naturally as she can, Veronica answers, "Fruit cake."_

_"Fruit cake cookies? Ronica, no one's gonna want to eat that."_

_She can't blame Meg for saying that, she had the same thought when he'd mentioned it to her. It doesn't matter if no one else eats it, as long as he does. "I know someone who will."_

_"Someone?" Meg pipes, eyes glowing with intrigue as she looks expectantly at her sister._

_"Logan," Heather chips, giddy grin on her lips as she snatches a few raisins to nibble on._

_"Shut up," Veronica snipes, decidedly ignoring both of her sister's coos and teasing as she carefully reads the worn out writing from the old cookie recipe she'd gotten from Logan's mom._

"Lights are a-go," Leo calls from up the ladder, snapping her from her daze. She looks up at him and he gives her a quick thumps up.

"Thanks, deputy," Veronica shouts through the noise of the community hall. "You'll make a fine little helper yet!"

Veronica looks at her notepad, checking various tasks off her list when she bumps into her little sister, wide eyes and crooked smile that could only mean trouble.

Veronica narrows her eyes at her and asks, "Why are you smiling like that?"

"What are you talking about? This is the way I always smile," Heather says, fast and unconvincing as she tries to hold her smile.

"Heather Mars," she emphasizes, warningly.

"Oh, do you hear that?" Heather makes a show of cupping her ear. "It's the sound of Christmas. Gotta go, byeee." Heather skedaddles, grabbing Ophelia's hand and running off.

Veronica's eyes widen considerably as she turns to the middle school church choir, loudly singing a rendition of _Deck the Halls._ "Why are you singing? There's no one here."

" _You're_ here," Lauren - a girl she remembers from Heather's class - says, staring at her pointedly.

"I meant _guests_ ," Veronica sighs, not wanting to deal with a choir of kids. "You kids are here way too early," she mumbles underneath her breath, shaking her head. "Inga! Help, please!" She calls out loud and hears the _'yes, Vehronika'_ come from the distance.

* * *

"We just gotta get a new one," Heather suggests, optimistic and bright with no reason to be. "Without anyone figuring out we broke the first one.”

Full on panic mode activated, Ophelia paces back and forth with her hands to her head. "We're eleven! How are we gonna get to a store? We don't have transport, we don't have money, and Veronica is gonna kill us. We ruined Christmas!”

"You're spiralling! Look, we'll just make one and everything will be okay because we're kids and our crafts are cute."

"How are we gonna make an angel? There's no time for paper mache to dry."

"We improvise, Felia! We didn't get an A in Arts and Crafts for nothing."

* * *

"Hey, Veronica."

"Deputy Sacks," Veronica smiles. "You ready to get your _ho-ho-ho-ing_ on?"

He gives her a sheepish smile with flash of guilt shimmering in his eyes. "Yeah, about that."

Veronica's smile falls and her eyes grow wide in panic as he tells her that he has a date and can't be Santa tonight.

* * *

Veronica pulls out her puppy dog eyes and head tilt. "Leo, please."

"Veronica," he sighs, giving her a helpless look.

"Every time there's a Christmas party without a Santa, an angel loses its wings."

"Come on, you know that's not true," he swallows, trying to look away from her pleading gaze.

She pouts. "The kids need you, Leo!"

"Alright, alright," he sighs once again. "Gimme that."

She eagerly thrusts it towards him, wiping away tears that don't exist as she praises, "You're a real St. Nick, Leo, the _sheriff_ of Christmas."

* * *

"Ho, ho, ho, to me," Wallace grins, snatching a cookie to eat.

"Fennel!" Veronica gasps as she appears from behind him. "Stealing cookies?"

"I’ve been good,” he playfully defends. “I deserve cookies."

She chuckles, shaking her head. “I sent a whole box to your house."

"But these are _here_ and I'm tired after carrying all those presents."

“Got 'em all?” She asks, bright and hopeful, it’s one of the last thing on her list.

“You know it,” he grins, pridefully biting on his cookie.

She matches his grin, "Santa ain’t got nothin’ on you.”

* * *

"Why are you wearing a Santa's costume?" Veronica stares at Vinnie with an unhinged look of grossed out.

He gawks at her, pointing at her with his white gloved finger. "You told me you didn't have a Santa!"

"It wasn't an invitation!" She defends; she was stuck taking care of mishap after mishap (deliveries gone wrong, criminals that stole her little helpers away, dates that stole her Santa away) and so she'd called Vinnie to tell him that she couldn't come into work (and now somehow she's got herself two Santas). "You just conveniently had a Santa suit just laying around?"

He looks at her as though she's ridiculous to think otherwise, remarking with a simple, "Doy."

* * *

"Oh! These are just adorable," Inga gushes, flipping through the photographs Meg's showing her. "Oh! Backup looks like an angel, he belongs on the cover of a Christmas card."

Heather perks up, nudging Ophelia to pay attention, silently whispering that she's got an idea.

Meg beams, "He _is_ so cute! _Oh!_ How are Trixie and Bud?"

"Trixie just had puppies. There's only one left."

Heather grins slow and wide, whipping around and nears the talking duo. "Can I see those?"

"You've already seen them," Meg tells her, smiling as Inga shuffles to get pictures of the new borns.

"Can't I see them again?" Heather pouts. "I mean, isn't that the reason pictures even exist."

Meg's brows furrow, warily eyeing her sister but lets her take the pictures and skip away.

Inga hands Meg her lot of puppy pictures which causes the college girl to gasp with awe. "They are so cute!"

The old woman smiles warmly, then her eyes catch a boy coming towards them, looking straight at Meg. "You have a visitor," Inga says, giggling as she comments about how it's not just the puppies that are cute.

Meg doesn't hide her smile as she indulges Inga with an exaggerated _oh, stop it_ before turning around. "Hey," Meg softly smiles in greeting. "You're here early.

Hamilton smiles back, dimples peeking out and he shrugs with his hands in his pocket. "Just felt like seeing you."

* * *

The very last thing on Veronica's list is the Christmas tree. All they had to do was move it from the backroom to the hall which Hamilton had happily volunteered to help her do. Once that was done, it was Meg's turn to host and she was done with her duties.

Only, once they got to the backroom, the Christmas tree had been missing an angel.

Storming out of the room, Veronica finds Heather and grits, "Where is the angel statue?"

Heather's eyes widen and then she let's out a breath, with a face of righteousness. "Well, I found that the depiction of an angel has been devastatingly in accurate so I corrected it. Backup is a true angel, don't you think?"

After many failed attempts at trying to create an angel to replace the one on top of the tree, Heather had given up. She'd decided to use an easy peasy star. But then, the idea to use Backup's picture hit her like a lightning bolt when she'd heard Inga describe him as an angel.

It was perfect because everyone loved Backup and there was nothing more pure and top of the tree worthy (she could at least sell the story to her father).

So she'd picked the cutest one (it felt like Sophie's choice) and clipped it on top of the tree. Wallace helped (she's no snitch though).

"Heather," Veronica stares at her, upset and unbudging.

"Is that disagreement, I hear? Because let me tell you that's a sure way for me to win #1 spot on his list."

Fed up, she asks, "What'd you do with the angel?"

"I told you -"

"Heather!"

"Okay, it broke!" She confesses. "I swear it was an accident and I tried replacing it but that didn't work out and this was the best I could do but I stand by the undeniable fact that Backup is indeed an angel."

Veronica lets out a heavy sigh, trying with all her might to let go of her anger. "It's fine. It's fine," she grits, turning away from her sister and walking out the door.

* * *

"Vehronika?" Inga calls. "Is this cookies for the table?" She asks, holding up the fruit cake cookies.

"Uh, yeah," she bites her lip. "Let me take it."

Inga hands over the box with the smile and Veronica takes it graciously. Her fingertips tap at the box as she stares at the door. She should leave them open them up to the public but she doesn't want to just yet. There's no denying that she's made it for _him_. She wants _him_ to eat it. She just doesn't know where _he_ is yet. So she tucks the box under her arm for safe keeping.

"Dude, all I'm saying that is Spike and Buffy belong together," she hears the loud voice of one Dick Casablancas.

Her mouth curves in a smile and she turns around, easily spotting the tall blond coming towards her accompanied by her red hair streaked friend.

"And I'm just stating that she loves Angel," comes Mac's rebuttal.

Veronica's eyes move past them, searching the crowd for Logan but he never comes.

"Veronica, Spike or Angel?" Mac asks, coming to a halt in front of the petite blonde.

Unblinking at the question, she looks between them and asks, "Where's Logan?"

Dick shrugs, trying to stifle his giggles as he prompts, "Why? You want _what's left of him_?"

"Dick," Mac nudges him, shooting him a disapproving glance.

"Alright, alright, man. I don't know. Maybe he was _hungry_. Or _burning_ ," he cracks up, giggling to himself.

Mac smacks his shoulder while Veronica rolls her eyes, unimpressed.

Then there's a sinking realization she has that Logan might not be coming at all; she keeps her eye on the door just in case.

* * *

The middle scholars stand on the podium, Heather and Ophelia have joined them, slotting themselves in the middle row dawned in their themed coloured gowns.

Meg stands in front of them, microphone in hand as she thanks everyone for attending and goes on to say, "Grandpa Mars used to say, ‘the heart knows what it wants even when the head doesn’t." She paused for a moment looking directly at Veronica, giving her a pointed smile before turning her gaze to the rest of the room.

"And Christmas is the true celebration of the heart. It's love, it's family, it's togetherness. It's magic in its purest form. Today, to express that magic we have Neptune Middle School's Choir to sing the Christmas classic _All I Want For Christmas is You,"_ Meg ends, awarding an applause from the crowd.

Veronica leans closer to her dad and whispers, "Did grandpa really say that?"

Keith shrugs, eyes on the stage as the girls take over the microphone and start to sing. "Sound advice, don't you think?"

She bites back a smile and remarks, "You mean, don't I feel?"

His gaze moves from the stage onto her and he questions, "What do you feel?"

Her brows shoot, her lips pursed in presumed thought and she quips, " _All I want_ _for Christmas_ is a pony?"

* * *

She can't deny that every time someone came through the door, she was hoping it'd be Logan. She'd kept his box of cookies sealed away, unable to let it be in the line of consumption when the person she'd made it for hadn't even tasted it yet.

That's how she finds herself standing in front of the Echolls' door. She lets out a breath and presses the bell, standing awkwardly as she stares at the closed door.

She considers pressing the bell again and then has thoughts about what if he doesn't want to see her? What if he isn't home?

Just before she loses her nerve, she gives the bell another ring. It takes two minutes - longest minutes of her life - before the door opens revealing Logan in all his bed hair, groggy eyes and bare chested glory.

She blows out a breath, eyes flickering down to his chest and abs as he adjusts to the light of the outside.

"You didn't come to the party," she says, airy and questioning - she wonders if he hears the disappointment she felt every time she didn’t see him today.

He stares at her, head to toe, taking in the fact that she's really in front of him. "You wanted space," comes his soft and sleep hazed voice. "After what happened, Heather wasn't gonna let you have that if I was there."

Her eyes stay on him as she tries to focus but her eyes can't help straying to his naked chest. Taking a breath, she pushes the box in her hands towards him. "I made you fruit cake cookies.”

His face slowly breaks into a smile as his fingers graze over hers in acceptance of the box. "You did?"

Eyes locked on his, her lips curl into a smile and she reminds, "You said you liked them."

"I do," he doesn't hide the hope springing into his entire being. "Do you wanna come in?"

She nods, stepping forward her eyes flicker up the door way. "Is that mistletoe?"

Logan follows her line of sight and looks up, squinting his eyes to clear his vision. "I think it's Holly."

She bites her lip, tilting her head as she gives him a pointed look. "I'm pretty sure it's mistletoe."

He refocuses on her, eyes bright with understanding and a wide grin comes over his face. "Then it must be."

He leans into her, softly letting his lips cover hers until she grabs a hold of his face and deepens their kiss, sucking on his upper lip and pulling his face closer to hers. Their noses clash and she feels herself falling desperately into him but she doesn’t care, she just doesn’t want to stop kissing him.

"You know you don't need a reason to kiss me," he whispers over her lips, smile unfading. "I'm yours to kiss whenever."

Dazed, she lightly nods. Her fingers hold onto his face and she kisses him again. He draws her into him, box of cookies in one hand and the other on her waist as he kicks the door shut.

He leaves the cookies on the first surface he finds and continues to kiss her. She climbs onto him, fuelled by the kiss and her burning need for him. He swirls them around, holding tightly onto her as he kisses her back, tongue slipping into her mouth, hugging her tightly to his chest.

Breaking away, he smiles, chuckling into her mouth accompanied by soft languid kisses, feeling her solid body with both his hands. "I missed you," he says, spinning her around.

She laughs, relieved and happy in his arms. Her fingers caressing his face, her blue eyes steadily on his, a smile of wonderment on her face as she says, "I love you."

He grins, wide and bright, spinning around in his living room as they kiss in soft, gentle pecks. "I love you too."

"I am pretty lovable," she remarks offhandedly, her hands holding onto his bicep as they fall onto the couch.

"You are," he kisses her. "You are, you are," he peppers her neck with kisses, letting her fall onto her back.

She giggles, pulling him over her and kissing him senseless as her hands run along his naked back.

"You've officially made this the best Christmas ever," he murmurs into her skin, her eyes close, revelling in the sensations he's bringing to her.

"It's not Christmas yet," she playfully tells him, her warm breath hitting his cheek before she kisses along his jaw and up to his earlobe.

He aches into her, holding the back of her neck in his palm, he moves them upwards, bringing her onto his lap. "I don't see how anything could beat having you in my arms again."

"Challenge accepted," she whispers, grinning and nose touching as she dives in to kiss him on his lips.

He meets her mouth, eager to kiss her as much as possible, his hands go to her backside, bringing her closer into him and she moans, hovering above him, palms on his jaw and her hips lining with his.

Her eyes open, looking into his, their lips barely touching and their breathes mixing.

He wasn't expecting her when he'd opened the door, he's unbelievably happy that it was her.

Her fingers slide down his chest and she kisses his neck, laying butterfly kisses and teeth grazing his bare skin, biting and sucking while his hand tangles in her hair and he groans, holding her tight against him before pulling her away.

She stares at him quizzing as he tries to catch his breath. "Didn't that feel good?"

"Of course it did," he breathes out, trying to regain his sense and holding her waist down onto him. "So good. Just dizzy. Jugular, bobcat," he explains, exhaling a light chuckle and tucking her hair behind her ear. "God, it felt so good," he assures, caressing her hands. "But kinda need the blood to keep circulating to my brain if I wanna keep up with you."

"Oh," she softly lets out, small smile on her lips.

He grins, hands moving to her thighs. "There's lots of other places you can bite."

"Yeah?" She grins, fingers sprawled against his abs.

He hums, kissing her nose. "If you have time?"

"We have all the time," she kisses him on the mouth. "I'm not going anywhere."

His head cocks to the side and he looks at her with surprise, "Does that mean no curfew?"

She straightens up a bit and shakes her head. "Oh, no, sheriff's terms and conditions still apply. I just meant, you know, in general."

He nods, wide smile as he kisses her, again and again. He never tires of kissing Veronica Mars. "I'm so glad you're here."

She licks her lips, staring into his eyes with unbridled love and tells him, "So am I."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After 47 chapters, this fic has finally come to an end. It's been a fun ride and I'm really happy that I've completed it.
> 
> But it's not the end for this AU! There will be a sequel that has:
> 
> \- Lots of LoVe (mature smutty context - if I can write it but I'm going to be trying, any helpful tips are welcome)
> 
> \- Veronica working with Vinnie
> 
> \- Possibly the entrance of Troy
> 
> \- More MaDi!! (actual development)
> 
> \- More Keith/Alicia (I actually wanted to write them more than I did)
> 
> \- More of the new Fab4 (Heather, Ophelia, Ryan and Darrell; they're so cute, right??)
> 
> \- Lilly/Veronica (I really wanted to write more of them but couldn't really fit what I had in mind)
> 
> I'm not sure when I'll post this - if it'll be before the new TATBILB sequel comes out or after (I'm feeling after because I'm gonna have a lot of feelings after the movie that I'm gonna need to put somewhere, you know? But also there's no release date yet so who knows how long it'll be so it might be before. I don't know yet)
> 
> Thank you to everyone that's read this story, come along with me on this journey and supported me through it. If anyone has any suggestions on what you'd like to be included in the sequel feel free to let me know!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [(Cover) To All The Boys I've Loved Before by MarshmallowAtHeart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16121633) by [AlinaSorokina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlinaSorokina/pseuds/AlinaSorokina)




End file.
